Thanks for your thoughts and comments, folks.
I have decided that I'm only doing 1.5 weeks more on this, then I'm moving to RTM. I am not fat - I'm a little overweight and only on my tummy/top of the thighs.
I've examined my rationale for doing it to be sure it's not a lack of patience or anything else. My reasons are:
- 1) I'm dizzy and faint in the morning.
- 2) I'm pale in the morning.
- 3) I do not like the hollows developing under my cheekbones.
- 4) I've seen pics of me now that I like and I do not look like I need to lose weight.
- 5) My energy levels are suffering.
- 6) I want to exercise but can't. This will be what keeps me thin.
- 7) People do not look at me and think I'm fat (one of the biggest problems I had was feeling that I was being judged).
- 8) I simply feel ready.
To answer some questions. My weightloss targets have been very arbitrary. My initial target was 13.5stone, and I kept pushing down till I got to 12st (as a target). I've changed this because I no longer want to be less than 12.5 st. More than that, I don't want to lose anything more off my face.
I kept pushing it down because of the BMI and also because I was judging myself against others. I hate the BMI and don't know why I'm using it as more than the roughest of guides.
I've been ready for food for a long time - but not been ready as I had too much to lose. Now I'm "normal" and am stopping looking at myself as huge.
It doesn't bother me that I have a fair bit of toning to do - I had that anyway. Now I need to do something to move onto the next phase of my life. This is a big one - "Fat Andy" is gone, and I'm ready to say goodbye to "losing weight Andy" and ready to welcome the new me.
I've decided to do the first 4 weeks of RTM and then see how I feel. I have enough spare packs to do the last few weeks on my own, if I'm happy to do that. (This all assumes they don't thrown me off if I don't get them a letter from my surgeon saying it's ok to stay on it - I'll ask when I go for me pre-assessment on the 6th).
I don't want to get to 12.5st and find that I continue to lose. If I stop at whatever I weigh in 10 days time, then I may lose more and not worry much - but I may worry if I get dragged towards 12st.
It feels like a good compromise really - I finish earlier but I have to do a large chunk of RTM and in the meantime I can finally start running - something I look forward to so much.