"Eat that or there is nothing else"

[Blueboxgeek]

For those of you who have fussy kids out there, do you say this? And more importantly....do you stick to it?I'm currently doing slimming world and 11 weeks pregnant. My husband helps out loads but when it comes to meals....I just don't have the energy (or desire!) to be cooking separately for my kids. My eldest (8) is ok but my youngest (5) is terrible. He won't eat chips but other than that he just eats convenience food (pizza, fish fingers, chicken nuggets). I cook lovely meals like spag bol or cottage pie and he sits there and won't eat anything. If I make him have a spoon full he starts gagging and makes like he is going to throw up!! I realise it's my own fault and I have let him get like this. But how do I get out of it? I try the "if you don't eat that you are not getting anything else" but then he just doesn't eat it and then come bed time he cries saying he is hungry. I've tried saving the meal and offering to heat it up if he is very hungry but he still refuses. I just feel so bad hearing him in bed crying when he's hungry that I end up cracking and giving him yoghurt and fruit!!!What do you other mums do?

 

[louise1982]

I have to admit I'm fairly strict with meal times. I don't cook different meals for them.
If they don't eat their dinner then the only food on offer is fruit, veg, natural yogurt and milk. My youngest has been know to refuse dinner but has eaten raw peeled carrots, fruit and yogurt.
If they try a couple of mouthfuls and honesty don't like it (it's very obvious with mine when they are just being fussy) then I will cook them a quick pasta meal.
It's tricky and I often wonder if I'm too harsh but my eldest (5) will now eat most things I make or at least try it.
X

 

[AnnaFaraday]

I have a young relative who was stuck in the chicken nuggets type of rut. He is better at trying things now, but I think that for some children it is really difficult to move to different types of tastes and textures. It usually doesn't work the first time - changing tastes have to be acquired. Convenience foods are easier to eat, as well as easier to prepare. They take no effort, which is why so many people like them.

I wouldn't eat cooked vegetables as a child, but was allowed to have them raw. When I realised that vegetables didn't have to be cooked for hours and hours, I found I quite liked them (except peas and brussels sprouts!). Also I didn't like gravy or anything very wet (still don't). But for the most part I would eat what was there.

BUT - there was nothing, but nothing, anyone could do to make me eat something I didn't like. No persuasion, coercion, deception, threats, nothing at all. I would simply not eat it, and if told that I wouldn't get anything else, then I wouldn't eat anything.

And I still remember with absolute loathing, sixty years on, the aunt who tricked me into eating something she knew I hated by disguising it as something else. I never spoke to her again!

I have a friend who tried something which worked for her - might not work for others but who knows? Most of her children would eat anything, but one would only eat certain selected things. So she would make really nice meals for everyone else and make a separate plate for the other child of the healthiest things he would eat - in his case he would eat boiled eggs and lettuce, so that was what he got. For every meal. With no argument or comment at all And eventually he got really bored and started asking for what everyone else was having.

I think it is important not to make it a battle. Any child will try to win a battle and they are more stubborn than you are! Don't have the discussions at mealtimes - it is too late then. Talk about it at other times, when the food is not on the table. Five is not to young to start to understand about food and what is good for you.

 

[Happy Holidays]

First you need to find out if your son doesn't like what you are giving him to eat or if he just doesn't want to eat it. As a family my son didn't like chips, pizza, gravy or any sauces, the only veg he would eat was petit pois, so at every meal time he got those with what we were eating.

What's important is a balanced diet & if it's not too awkward to give him different to what you are having and he is getting a balanced diet that's what I'd do.

 

[louise1982]

One thing we do for some meals is we put everything on the table and then the girls can choose what they want. It's amazing by giving them 'control' over what they eat, they willingly eat food that if I put it on their plate they wouldn't touch.

 

[Target140]

I think there are some great ideas. The only thing I really insist on us that they try whatever I've cooked. A proper try. If they still don't like it then there are basic alternatives, fruit, yoghurt, cheese, bread.

If they don't try then no alternatives and def no pud!

I find it more difficult eating out with them. My youngest is 8 now and she'll only ever order chicken nugget & chips if we're out!!! Admittedly we don't eat out very often so it's not like they've had a chance to try fancy food, but on the rare occasion we do get invited out somewhere nicer than Pizza Hut I dread it!!!

 

[Blueboxgeek]

Thanks for the replies everyone, interesting to see how people deal with this.

Well I made cottage pie with sweet potato mash and he wouldn't eat it. I made him try two spoonfuls, one spoon of the mash and one of the mince / veg and he did try them but gagged and spat them back on his plate!! I wouldn't let him have a Kinder Bueno (which I felt kind of bad about as his older brother was having one) but I let him have a yoghurt and a banana.

Tonight I am going to do him something I know he likes (flipper dippers) but do it with things he normally won't eat (jacket potato & beans). I know he'll eat the flipper dippers but if he at least tries a mouthful of potato and beans I will let him have a treat. If he won't even try it then he won't get a treat. I feel like a horrible mum but hopefully I am doing the right thing and at least getting him to try things.

Thanks again for your replies everyone x

 

[keegan]

my child drives me mad with eating, he ate everything when he was weaning and then about 2 years old he got a sickness bug and its been a battle ever since. For a while all he would eat was jacket potatoes and cheese. I remember being excited one holiday as he ate a chicken nugget ! now when i write what he eats it appears ok but trying to make a meal its a nightmare. He will eat any fruit and most vegetables, chicken, steak and things like fish fingers but wont eat anything wet no gravy, bean, tomato sauces nothing. His plate ends up being a bit of a carb fest and we agreed after xmas we need to get tough but now hes 8 i fear we have left it too late. Also have to admit that he does tend to have chocolate but hates crisp because they mad his mummy fat so defo going to go down the healthy road with him so he does not end up like me. Not quite sure were to start tho. we did start no chocolate midweek but that fell by the wayside with advent

 

[AnnaFaraday]

. . . He will eat any fruit and most vegetables, chicken, steak and things like fish fingers but wont eat anything wet no gravy, bean, tomato sauces nothing. . . .

I am not sure what the problem is here. He eats fruit, vegetables, and lean protein. He doesn't like sauces, but they are easy to avoid (I don't eat them). He likes chocolate but not crisps. In other words, he likes a healthy diet. What is it you are going to get tough about? What do you want him to eat which he doesn't eat now?

 

[keegan]

I know it doesn't make sense on paper but I just want him to eat what everybody else is eating instead of making separate meals lol

 

[mysticmel]

yes I say and yes I mean it x