• Upgrades have been completed! Including conversations, 😁😎🏀⚾⚽ Emojis and more.. Read more

Elvira's Race to Lose 3st by 27th September 2010


Mistress of the Dark
Who am I? Why am I here? Why the specific date?

Well, my name is Gem. I'm 25 and I'm a student. I am also 20st something (not sure yet as haven't checked the scales!), a size 24 and thoroughly miserable.

I have always been 'the fat girl'. In school, I was picked on for being fat, although now I look back at photos, I really wasn't that big, just well developed I guess. It got worse in high school. I wore baggy clothes all the time to try and hide it but these made me look even bigger. I never had a boyfriend until I was about 18 because no-one was interested in me. They all preferred the slim, athletic types and who could blame them? I used to hate those girls but now I think fair play to them. If I had been more sporty then perhaps I wouldn't be where I am now.

It started in my teens. I was always sneaking chocolate bars and biscuits. I'd ask my mum if I could have one, but then I would eat one and take another one. I wasn't hungry so why did I eat them? I started skipping meals to lose weight. I wouldn't have breakfast or lunch but then I would eat loads of junk at teatime. Obviously it didn't work and I continued to gain weight. I developed a phobia of eating in front of people. With my family it was fine but with anyone else, I just wouldn't eat. As a result, when I got home, I was so hungry that I would overeat.

When I got my first job working in a supermarket I lost 3st over a year because I was suddenly active. I managed to maintain it with little effort, even though I was still binge eating at home until I left work to go to uni when I was 21. My mum and I had a huge row and she kicked me out just before I started uni. I was miserable at uni. I hated my course, hated where I lived and had no friends. My boyfriend eventually moved into my uni flat with me and we used to eat loads of takeaways, chocolate and sweets because we were so miserable about our lack of money and the fact that we never went out or anything. I always binged when he was at work and the weight piled on.

I quit uni and we moved back to our home town. I made up with my mum so that side of things was better but suddenly I was nearing 22st. My friend told me about the Cambridge Diet and how she had lost 5st in 5 months. As soon as I heard about it, I wanted to do it. I got in touch with a counsellor and I got started on Sole Source. It was so easy. I stuck at it rigidly and I lost 7st, I was a size 14/16, but then it all went downhill.

I had so much confidence and I felt great. I was flirty and fun again but my boyfriend didn't like it. I treated him like dirt because I had let all the compliments I was getting go to my head. I started cheating and snacking thinking a little bit of garlic bread or chocolate wouldn't hurt. My weight loss stopped and I started to gain the odd pound, always pretending to my counsellor that I didn't know why it was happening because I was 100%. I was arguing with my boyfriend all the time because of my stinking attitude and before I knew it, I was miserable again and the binge eating was back.

2st went on quicker than it came off. I lost my confidence and was back to my old self again. My boyfriend seemed pleased that the flirtatious devil woman had disappeared and we got on much better. Only problem was I was clinging to him as if he was my lifeline. I never went out and stayed home all the time. Staying at home meant I was eating more again and the weight continued to pile on. I was 17st again and I had just been accepted to uni to study Egyptology. I was determined to get back to 14st ready for starting uni so I knuckled down with Cambridge. I would lose 11lbs then gain 3 back, then lose 3 then gain 6. It was a never-ending cycle that kept moving backwards. Before I knew it I was at uni and feeling fat.

This was in September. I am 20st something now and have been binge eating ever since. I am determined not to let myself get all the way back to 22st. I can't afford to do Cambridge Diet any more, well not until 27th September when I will be getting more money coming in. I would like to go back to it and do it properly this time.

I can't believe I have let myself get back to where I am today. I tasted slim and I let it go. However, I have learned a lesson and I will not treat my boyfriend the way I did ever again. He has always stuck by me and he deserves so much more. He was there when I was 14st, he was there when I was 22st and he is still here now.

I am giving SW a go because I have tried it briefly before and liked it. I want to lose about 3st by the time I go back to uni for my 2nd year which equates to about 1.75lbs a week. I will decide them if I want to continue or move to Cambridge again.

I need all the support I can get so if anyone is reading this, please share any stories you have, any successes, any tips, anything motivational or even if you can say you know how I feel.

I am 25 years old, I never go out except to go to my lectures. I have hardly any friends because I don't have the confidence to meet people. I still think that the bottom of a tub of Ben and Jerry's holds the answers to my problems (although never fully believing that).

I want to do this to prove to myself that I can and to get my life back again. I have no right to sit around feeling sorry for myself because I know I am very fortunate in many respects but I just can't seem to drag myself out of it.

If anyone has read this, I apologise for waffling on but I just needed to get it all out. I am intending to keep this diary going as a motivational tool so all feedback is appreciated :) x
Get Rid of this ad and join in on the conversation for free today! Tap here!
Thank you for sharing your story and well done on taking the bull by the horns and joing SW, you'll find loads of support here, you've done it before and you know you can do it again. Good luck xx


Mistress of the Dark
Thanks hun, I really hope so!

Money is tight at the moment so I'm starting on Sunday but going to have to just make SW friendly meals out of what I've got because my OH doesn't get paid until 15th.

I have a massive bag of pasta though haha! x

Similar threads