Sam's (wannalose8stone) thread about hypnosis really got me thinking the other day and its one that won't go away!
Really and truly... why do I emotionally eat. I know I do it, I've always done it but why and where did I learn this from, how and how the hell do I stop it.
I guess I started thinking this because I'm seriously considering hypnosis also. I was thinking about the needing to address WHY rather than just the prevention of cravings.
Honestly, I don't think I "crave" things.. well not in the way most people seem to describe it anyway. Even when I was pregnant I didn't "crave" things.
Anyway... I thought I'd post this because i'm not brave enough to share this with anyone I know, let alone my husband! I've just spent a good hour soaking in the bath trying to think of when I started emotionally eating... the truth is I don't really know. I don't know about most of you but my childhood is pretty hazy (I'm only 27!)
The first time I can remember binge-eating was when we lived in a pub. I lived there between the ages of 9 and 13 and honestly as an only child I think I found it hard to accept that I wasn't the centre of the universe anymore; possibly the pub was. This is so hard for me, I had great parents who gave me everything I needed and supported me iin everyway they could- I think they felt torn (just as I do now - its hard working full-time and having kids!)
But something was missing.. late at night while they were downstairs serving customers I was upstairs lying inbed, sneaking into the office and stealing (yes stealing) chocolate bars which were supposed to be for sale. This is not something I'm proud of by any means - in fact this is the first time I've admitted it out loud (they must have known though). I would eat 5 or 6 Mars Bars or Twixs at a time and do the same the following night.
This doesn't answer my why but does answer my when... this history has always been at the back of my mind making me feel guilty and it feels good to finally admit it to myself.
I'm not sure how this period ended; all I know is it gave me that kick start into a bad relationship with food that has lasted the best part of 20 years. I'd like to point out that after this period I never stole from my parents again and I'm deeply ashamed of it still all these years later.
I think I eat the chocolate at night because I missed my parents, we had been very close before taking on the pub and I felt excluded from them from that point on. I guess it must have made me feel better but I'm not sure how.
Today I still want sweet things when I'm emotionally battered... either from a bad day at work, or during a row with my OH, its mainly WORK these days.
Sorry for the long post, got a bit carried away...
Really and truly... why do I emotionally eat. I know I do it, I've always done it but why and where did I learn this from, how and how the hell do I stop it.
I guess I started thinking this because I'm seriously considering hypnosis also. I was thinking about the needing to address WHY rather than just the prevention of cravings.
Honestly, I don't think I "crave" things.. well not in the way most people seem to describe it anyway. Even when I was pregnant I didn't "crave" things.
Anyway... I thought I'd post this because i'm not brave enough to share this with anyone I know, let alone my husband! I've just spent a good hour soaking in the bath trying to think of when I started emotionally eating... the truth is I don't really know. I don't know about most of you but my childhood is pretty hazy (I'm only 27!)
The first time I can remember binge-eating was when we lived in a pub. I lived there between the ages of 9 and 13 and honestly as an only child I think I found it hard to accept that I wasn't the centre of the universe anymore; possibly the pub was. This is so hard for me, I had great parents who gave me everything I needed and supported me iin everyway they could- I think they felt torn (just as I do now - its hard working full-time and having kids!)
But something was missing.. late at night while they were downstairs serving customers I was upstairs lying inbed, sneaking into the office and stealing (yes stealing) chocolate bars which were supposed to be for sale. This is not something I'm proud of by any means - in fact this is the first time I've admitted it out loud (they must have known though). I would eat 5 or 6 Mars Bars or Twixs at a time and do the same the following night.
This doesn't answer my why but does answer my when... this history has always been at the back of my mind making me feel guilty and it feels good to finally admit it to myself.
I'm not sure how this period ended; all I know is it gave me that kick start into a bad relationship with food that has lasted the best part of 20 years. I'd like to point out that after this period I never stole from my parents again and I'm deeply ashamed of it still all these years later.
I think I eat the chocolate at night because I missed my parents, we had been very close before taking on the pub and I felt excluded from them from that point on. I guess it must have made me feel better but I'm not sure how.
Today I still want sweet things when I'm emotionally battered... either from a bad day at work, or during a row with my OH, its mainly WORK these days.
Sorry for the long post, got a bit carried away...