Fear of being slim

[htpink]

I have only recently identified that maybe the fear of being slim was sabotaging me. In the last 20 years i have been slim for about a year - wasn't until i talked about this with a good friend who is a counsellor that i realised the whilst i want to be slim, subconsciously i associated being slim with that year in my life and believe me the other stuff in my life at that time wasn't good.

Now that i've recognised this and am aware of it i do feel differently about it. I now recognise that being slim or fat is not going to make my life great or crap. My weight does't affect my marriage, my relationship with my kids, my job or my friendships (unless of course i let it) because as you say - i'm still the same person and i've come to realise i can be secure and happy - fat or slim.

I do feel the pressure is off now and i am plodding along, doing what i can to lose the weight - generally going in the right direction with blips on the way - but safe in the knowledge that while losing the weight may enable me to buy nicer clothes, the success of my life doesn't stand or fall on it!

God its taken a long time and a whole load of therapy for me to get here!

 

[Incywincy]

I have waited 2 years to be slim again. I have recently found out why I put on weight and harboured food and am glad to get it all out in the open. I am much happier with every pound I lose and would not even subconciously sabbotage something I have yearned and tried for so long.

Great question though

 

[tishtosh]

Just my ramblings

Hello Mrs P and everyone here,
I really thought I would be posting in this thread every day as it was so thought provoking. But I had so much running round my head that I didn't know where to start.
So I've had time to reflect and though frightened of who I may become (and I take on board all your positive comments about that), at the moment I'm quite focussed on how I can change who I am.
There are a couple of reasons for this I think: One is the support and chats on here, then there's the weekly counselling sessions which, in themselves can sometimes be superficial, but give me a basis from which to work; and also the fact that I have already lost so much that I am sure I can do something more longterm this time.
I'm so optomistic now I can hardly believe it myself, and long may it last!
My best wishes to everyone and look forward to reading lots more postings in here.

 

[AmandaJayne]

Hia Tishtosh,

"....There are a couple of reasons for this I think: One is the support and chats on here, then there's the weekly counselling sessions which, in themselves can sometimes be superficial, but give me a basis from which to work; and also the fact that I have already lost so much that I am sure I can do something more longterm this time.
I'm so optomistic now I can hardly believe it myself, and long may it last!...."

I second that on both counts. It is a marvelous feeling when it slowly dawns on you that yes, this time you CAN do it. I remember feeling the same all those months ago Tish, and here I am at goal for the very first time in my life of dieting, which is about 30 years.

We at Minis will be here for you every step of the way, so don't stop posting, even when you are going through difficult times or feel like you have lost the battle. You don't fail until you give up!

 

[tishtosh]

Thanks a lot for that AJ......
BTW - What a great journey you've come! Wow just noticed that great weight loss ... after 30 years too. I hate to say it but the last time I was a 'normal' weight was over 40 years ago when I was 10 and I'm hungry (oops) to get there.
Great to hear from you and thanks again.

 

[Tiger Girl]

What a fantastic thread!
Lots of thoughts...
Yes, I think I am scared of being slim. I want it, absolutely no doubt about that, but it's the fear of the unknown combined with shedding the shell where the problems lie for me.
All throughout my teens and early 20's I was a size 14. Compared to my friends, I was considered chubby and certainly at a 14 was the largest amongst my mainly size 10 friends.
Yo-yo'ing weight wise for years, but never smaller than a size 14, has resulted in feeling like I've been overweight my entire life - even when I wasn't. That's an awful lot of emotional stuff to deal with.

So yes, I am feeling a bit scared. I've no idea what my life is going to be like when I get to goal. But now that I'm fully dealing with my weight problem, I feel so much stronger to deal with the future.


Lumpy's comment about dealing with the real issues when you're in abstinence, ie dealing with the deep rooted emotional stuff and not juggling points and rewarding yourself with good/bad food was spot on for me. I feel like I've spent my life doing that!
So, yes, a bit scared...but also curious, excited, happy, and sometimes a littl bit euphoric about the future!