Feel like a failure

Discussion in 'Cambridge Diet Returners' started by Nancy B, 5 April 2008 Social URL.

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  1. Nancy B

    Nancy B New Member

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    I am trying desperatly to get back on track but failing miserably.

    Last year (between April and July) I went from just under 13 stones to just under 10 stones - I looked and felt great and bought lots of lovely clothes and felt like me for the first time in years. My BMI was right for my height and I felt like I'd 'arrived'. I felt more confident in bed and everyone told me how good I looked - and I knew that I looked good.

    However for the past 4/5 months I have lost the plot and the weight is almost all back on again. I caught sight of my reflection in the glass doors as I left work one evening last week and my heart sank - I looked just like I did in that side shot that was taken before I started SS last year!

    I don't know why I did it my myself. I can honestly say that I don't even like food that much - I don't bother to cook nice food or go to nice restaurants but I will stuff sandwiches, biscuits and chocolate. For some reason or other biscuits have become a particular problem - they are in abundance in the office where I work and while I can stay away from them for most of the day, once it gets to about 4pm I am like a great vulture!! And once I have eaten one I can't stop ........ I'm sure that this is how an alcoholic of drug addict must feel.

    I have spent hours trying to work out what it is that I am doing and why but I can't. I have read books on obsessive eating, wrote myself notes, wrote in a diary, had long baths, promised myself treats, died my eye lashes, hung my nice size 10 trousers on the front of the wardrobe door so as to remind me of what I used to wear only a few months ago and what I must aspire to but none of it works. I've even allowed myself to stand naked in front of the bedroom mirror and look at what I have allowed to happen - and while what I see fills me with despair I keep on eating.

    I started SS again today but already I can feel my resolve beginning to wain. I'm thinking that I might make a nice toasted cheese sandwich (there I go again, sandwiches) and a cup of tea.

    I so want to enjoy the summer like I did last year - I looked great, even in my cozzie (not perfect - I am over 40 but I looked good).

    Is there anyone out there or anything anywhere that can make we stop eating myself into oblivion?!!

    I've given up trying to understand why - now I just need to know how. Every morning the body I wash in the shower is bigger than the day before but I feel helpless to stop it.

    Sorry to be so miserable .......... but I just hoped that someone out there might have been where I am now and found a way to break free.
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  3. slimforlive

    slimforlive Full Member

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    Slimming World
    Hi Nancy,

    So sorry you're feeling down - I'm not sure I can really help, but I do share some of your feelings. I lost 3 stone last year, and have put half back on, so re-started today. I can't believe how easy it was to go back to my old eating habits, I really felt that if I could do CD for 4 months, then surely I could say no to bad foods - but no. Gradually I started saying yes to them, then the weight started pilling back on, so I have re-started again today.

    So. You have restarted today. So that makes you NOT a failure. That you're tempted already again, doesn't NOT make you a failure - we both know that these first few days are going to be hard, but that it does get easier. I just keep remember how my jeans used to feel loose, and how good I felt, and that helps. Just remember that after 3-4 days it'll be soo much easier. And what's 3-4 days in a lifetime? nothing.

    None of that probably helps you, but just wanted to send you big hugs and say that I was thinking of you, and if you do give in to that sandwich, don't beat yourself up about it, we're only human :)

    Big hugs
  4. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    just want to say good luck to you and perhaps it might be easier if you ease into it rather than going straight into SS.... give yourself some protein in addition to your packs for the first couple of days. .... I speak from recent experience where I've had slips and then on trying to get back to SS, couldn't manage it. Yesterday I gave myself extra protein and it seems to have worked (so far). The thoughts of other foods are weaker now whereas before yesterday it didn't take much to have me throw the towel in and throw the food into my mouth.

    All the best
  5. MsJMC

    MsJMC Strong women stay slim

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    Hi Nancy
    I have re started again friday , I just knew i felt different Friday , but you know i went to Tesco today really thought ho look at that ,lovely food, i could just eat that , but it passes . Its not forever this diet . Water really helps , stops you feeling hungry , not the same effect as food but it does the Job . Just do some rethinking about the diet , as only you can do this , with some help here too ! How are you feeling now ?
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