Poppysparkle
Silver Member
Well, I've been pretty controlled so far, but not sure that today's been a good one.
I got home early from work for once and tidied round and then did a huge basket of ironing I've been meaning to do for weeks. The problem is that I can't get halfway through something and leave it, so it was 8.30pm before I'd finished ironing, and had been at it since 5pm. This meant I was tired and hungry when I'd finished and I've just made my tea - stuck to salad with raw veg, and sprinkled with garlic/chilli and light soy sauce. I decided to have smoked salmon slices, as I could do this quickly. I weighed out 200g of smoked salmon and this was all I was going to have. I then decided that my salad would be a little dry, so added some cottage cheese - of which I had a third of a pot left. I didn't weigh this, and was just going to add a little of it, but added the lot - I would assume that the max calorie content of this was 150 cals, and the salmon was about 180 cals. So, already more than I've been allowing myself - about 200 cals for my protein. I thought that I'd leave some on my plate, but it tasted delicious, so finished the lot - I also ate it all a bit quick I think, rather than taking my time and eating it slowly - although it did take me about 15 minutes to eat the plate full, I feel like I shovelled it in really.
I'd had a vanilla shake, a Muller yoghurt at lunch time, along with my cranberry bar and a sugar free jelly. When I got home I had another jelly, and had decided that that was going to be it, along with a black coffee, but I ate another one because I'd enjoyed it so much - three jellies so far! I also made some jelly up before I did the ironing and decided to have a taste, as it looked a bit watery - I'd made from one sachet about five servings. I was just going to taste it while at the fridge, but finished the lot straight after my tea, then decided to have another ready made one because the one I'd made up wasn't very nice! That's five today plus the ramekin full I'd made.
My decision during abstinence was to avoid Diet Coke as much as possible. When I was allowed to drink it this week, I had one Coke Zero, but didn't really like it. The next day I had a really chilled Diet Coke, which tasted better. I decided that if I was going to have some, I'd definitely limit this to one 500ml bottle a day max. Well, I've now had two today because I've just sent my son to the shop for one to have while I was eating tea! That's another decision I've made that's also broken.
I've now decided that as I've eaten more than I planned with the jelly situation and the Diet Coke, and about 150 cals more than I planned for tea, I'm not going to have my last shake of the evening and will just have two foodpacks today instead of three, and have just had another black coffee instead.
I know that I've not overeaten as such, but I feel out of control! I've made decisions that I planned to stick to, and my chatterbox has had me eat and drink stuff that I hadn't planned, at times I had decided not to eat it.
I'm sorry this is so long and moany, but I want to go back to abstinence desperately - it's really important to me to keep the weight off, but then I think how am I going to do it when putting something in my mouth is more important at that present moment that I'm about to do it???
I got home early from work for once and tidied round and then did a huge basket of ironing I've been meaning to do for weeks. The problem is that I can't get halfway through something and leave it, so it was 8.30pm before I'd finished ironing, and had been at it since 5pm. This meant I was tired and hungry when I'd finished and I've just made my tea - stuck to salad with raw veg, and sprinkled with garlic/chilli and light soy sauce. I decided to have smoked salmon slices, as I could do this quickly. I weighed out 200g of smoked salmon and this was all I was going to have. I then decided that my salad would be a little dry, so added some cottage cheese - of which I had a third of a pot left. I didn't weigh this, and was just going to add a little of it, but added the lot - I would assume that the max calorie content of this was 150 cals, and the salmon was about 180 cals. So, already more than I've been allowing myself - about 200 cals for my protein. I thought that I'd leave some on my plate, but it tasted delicious, so finished the lot - I also ate it all a bit quick I think, rather than taking my time and eating it slowly - although it did take me about 15 minutes to eat the plate full, I feel like I shovelled it in really.
I'd had a vanilla shake, a Muller yoghurt at lunch time, along with my cranberry bar and a sugar free jelly. When I got home I had another jelly, and had decided that that was going to be it, along with a black coffee, but I ate another one because I'd enjoyed it so much - three jellies so far! I also made some jelly up before I did the ironing and decided to have a taste, as it looked a bit watery - I'd made from one sachet about five servings. I was just going to taste it while at the fridge, but finished the lot straight after my tea, then decided to have another ready made one because the one I'd made up wasn't very nice! That's five today plus the ramekin full I'd made.
My decision during abstinence was to avoid Diet Coke as much as possible. When I was allowed to drink it this week, I had one Coke Zero, but didn't really like it. The next day I had a really chilled Diet Coke, which tasted better. I decided that if I was going to have some, I'd definitely limit this to one 500ml bottle a day max. Well, I've now had two today because I've just sent my son to the shop for one to have while I was eating tea! That's another decision I've made that's also broken.
I've now decided that as I've eaten more than I planned with the jelly situation and the Diet Coke, and about 150 cals more than I planned for tea, I'm not going to have my last shake of the evening and will just have two foodpacks today instead of three, and have just had another black coffee instead.
I know that I've not overeaten as such, but I feel out of control! I've made decisions that I planned to stick to, and my chatterbox has had me eat and drink stuff that I hadn't planned, at times I had decided not to eat it.
I'm sorry this is so long and moany, but I want to go back to abstinence desperately - it's really important to me to keep the weight off, but then I think how am I going to do it when putting something in my mouth is more important at that present moment that I'm about to do it???