Felt frightened today for the first time about losing weight

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by angie-bum, 2 September 2008 Social URL.

  1. angie-bum

    angie-bum Gold Member

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    Not sure what it's all about. I know it is the kind of thing that would have usually got me reaching for food.
    I think it was when I was day dreaming in a work meeting and I was trying to work out how much I would weigh by Christmas.... and I thought 'Jesus I could have lost 4 stone by then' and I was quite shaken and felt frightened. Like someone had said I was going to have a limb removed.
    I suppose it is not surprising that the fat was serving some kind of function. I suppose it's been protecting me....now just have to work out what I think will attack once skinny, and try and placate that part of me cos it'll be that frighted bit of me that tries to upset the maintenance cart.

    Mmmmm, will have to have a ponder on this one
     
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  3. sleekandclean

    sleekandclean Full Member

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    Hey Angie-bum. I couldn't help being excited by your title... I know that sounds weird but it's great that you know what feeling you have been avoiding by being fat. Please check out this website Newcomer message from Gary Craig , it's a really simple technique that will not cost you any money and you should be able to tap on this feeling and hopefully eradicate it forever. There is a free downloadable manual and the webiste is a great resource. I have been using this technique for a little while now on myself and finding it quite amazing. Good luck with it!
     
  4. angie-bum

    angie-bum Gold Member

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    Thankyou! will check it out. I didn't really have time to analyse the responseI had cos I had to keep sitting through a meeting. But it was gutteral, raw, immediate and very true. I thought ' ay up, something inside is trying to tell me something important'
    I know I won't die if I lose weight. But something inside is convinced I will. Mmmmm, like I said, need to give this one a bit of thought!
     
  5. angie-bum

    angie-bum Gold Member

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    Am kinda at the same spot again, realising that I got stuck trying to get under 15 stone last time

    Maybe I need counselling? When I consider losing lots of weight I feel a sadness, feelings of loss & when I think of not having food, sole sourcing completely, I feel panicky, alone, bereft.

    I know when properly in ketosis I don't feel hunger an I know that this is not forever, but it's like I am asking myself to kill a friend, or hold my breath for a month....I feel such a strong loyalty, such a strong connection with food, it's like I feel I'll never see it again and I feel desperate

    But that's a little nuts?! Isn't it?

    Food is not a friend, a loved one, a blanket, a protecting force

    It is just food, calories, bulk.

    Eating shakes doesn't allow you to feel full. I am mourning the loss of that feeling. Feeling full makes me feel safe.
     
  6. Setas

    Setas Silver Member

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    Wow Angie those are some really scary feelings. I've been lucky and just focused on the positive and tried to visualise what it will be like (ie all the things I will be able to do) . It might be worth trying to find a couple of goreygirls threads - she has given us some wonderful links that might help.
     
  7. determinator

    determinator Banned

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    I can totally understand your feelings , I have not felt them as strongly as you , but I do seem to self sabotage everytime I get anywhere near getting to goal ...... I kind of dont know what I am if im not the fat girl ...... I have never known anything else and dont know WHO I will be or how this new slim person should act , feel etc ......

    I am nearly there now , and am still living the 'fat girl ' life , I dont feel any different yet and think it will take a while for my mind to catch up .. let us know how you get on hun xxx
     
  8. Emma1904

    Emma1904 Working on it

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    I got scared as well the other night, was just laying in bed unable to sleep and thought to myself 'what if I totally change?' my fiancée says that she is behind me 100% as long as I don't change... it worries me that I won't know who a thinner Emma is, I never been her! and I worry (natural worrier anyway!) that I am going to change and the best thing in my life (my relationship with Michelle) just doesn't work any more, what do I do then?

    We all have our fears and sometimes we need to hit them head on, I comforted myself in the fact of I could get thinner, change a little bit and have a 100% chance of staying with her or I could keep eating, get bigger and bigger and have a miserable life, I could get ill and then die just because I kept eating and I would be leaving her and my son behind... the first choice felt a lot more appealing!

    Good luck with your journey, our hardest battles tend to be our psychological ones but remember, every time you win a battle you get closer to winning the war.

    x x x
     
  9. angie-bum

    angie-bum Gold Member

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    Thanks everyone. I dont feel that way at the moment, but that's because I haven't manage to sole source today. I can't work it out,it just is..I feel panicky about the thought of not eating solid food. So I think i'mm going to have to just have a green and white meal on and off,as being frightened for no disernable reason isntgood when trying to keep on this diet & I don't know why I feel that way.

    Iknow I have food issues, it represents love and comfort and home/belonging on many many levels, when not dieting I don't see it like that & hardly give what I'm eating a second thought

    But the thought of not eating something, even if it's something small, is putting the frighteners on me
    And I have done cd before and sole sourced, I don't remember the giving up food being the issue before, just the hidden fear of losing the weight

    Just need to get my head around it again
     
  10. Goreygirl

    Goreygirl Gold Member

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    Hey guys

    Fear of success (which is what this essentially is) can be crippling ... it's an unknown quantity and when success is potentially within our grasp it throws up all sorts of issues that are to do with our core beliefs.. and if we don't understand/know our core beliefs we can be left feeling we are floundering and not really understanding why.

    Our core beliefs are those subconscious internal beliefs that drive all our behaviours... and those core beliefs can be re-enforced by both positive and negative outcomes. Essentially it is the why of what we do... e.g. why do we find ourselves repeating patterns that logically we know are self destructive (in relationships, food, family etc), what do we recognise as love, what is our self-esteem really built on, do we really belief we deserve the life we want?

    This link DO YOU LOVE TO BE NEEDED, OR NEED TO BE LOVED? explains the process of development of core beliefs fairly well (without getting too heavy with psychological terminology).

    So the first step you have to do is identify the core beliefs that may be holding you back .. and then you have to work on challenging them. Challenging negative self talk and motivational visualisation are the 2 main methods... The Fear of Success | Psychology Today gives a good starting place.

    It can be a bit scary to look indepth at yourself this way but it is very liberating and gave/gives me plenty of "lightbulb" moments.

    Some people might fight against the newly emerging you (because this self work will result in you drawing up some new boundaries regarding what you will accept from those other people around you.. friends, work colleagues, parents, partners etc) ... the ones who will struggle most with your positive self-growth are the ones who feed into those negative core values because it suits their own needs (consciously or subconsciously) so if you hear comments like "this diet is changing you and not for the better" or " ah now you don't want to be losing too much weight" .. don't see this as a bad reflection on you .. rather deflect it from you and instead quietly question what their motives might be!
     
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