Filling up on feeling good

fawn4n

Member
It's the night before and I am sitting here fretting as to whether I can actually do this. I want it so bad, I just have to get the headspace right.
So, the reasons for doing such a low cal diet are; yuck, that irritating 'for the sake of my health' , but more for the way I look.....I hate that old, baggy, saggy bag puss that I see in the mirror.
I just got back from a weekend in London visiting my daughter and the whole town is full of slim people and even worse in our hotel room there was a sofa facing a floor to ceiling mirror and seeing myself sitting on that sofa in what I thought was my most flattering outfit is burnt into my retina. I looked like a big toad, huge fat belly and skinny legs sticking out. My girls would shout at me for calling myself names but you know I loathed what I looked like, felt so ashamed that I have done this to myself, disgust that the woman in the mirror is me.
Harsh maybe but honest and from the heart.
This is my last chance to change my life, I know if I leave it much longer I will give up on myself entirely. I have so much to live for so why give up on myself and life. I want to have fun and not hide myself away. I want to wear pretty clothes and feel confident when I enter a room. I want to make friends, I have no friends, I allowed myself to be cut off from people by my relationship and didn't feel worthy of friends so hid away and stopped trying to meet people. I felt that I was too ugly to be liked, so if I slim down I might find the courage to reach out a hand to people and maybe someone will take it.
There I said it, I have no friends and I am terribly lonely.
A slimmer me maybe a likeable me.
Wish me luck xxxx
 
So day one went surprisingly well though I was so tired I was in bed and asleep by 8.30! I slept really well but today I have a stinker of a headache, I am popping pills but basically want to swap my head like worzel gummidge lol. The shakes I have had so far are not to bad, my fave is the vanilla with a little added decaf coffee. I am viewing this headache and any other discomfort that may come along as the price to pay to save my life. Please god I manage to stick with it, this is so important to me. Wish me luck x
 
Hi,

Well done on getting started and keeping a diary. By facing it you have already come so far and should be PROUD of yourself.
The first few days are the hardest but it honestly gets easier. I lost 4 stone in 100 days and went from feeling **** and hating myself to feeling fab at all I had achieved.
I know you can do it. Keep your eye on the prize.
And you do have friends....me!
Keep posting and get your feelings out. It will help.
If you have any questions let me know.
But remember to be kind to yourself.
 
Oh, I know that feeling, I avoid mirrors at all costs when out, nothing demoralises me more. You have started well, keep it up and the new slimmer you will be here before you know it.... hopefully the new slimmer me will also be popping up some day soon. I am starting on Monday so will be following you will the headaches in a few days.

Liking the idea of having Worzel heads to change.
 
Would be lovely to know how everyone is getting on? I started 10 days ago now can't wait till I fit in those size 12 jeans!
 
My husband is doing exante diet and has lost about 30lbs. 3 packs a day but food packs, bars shakes & soups and a lot cheaper than LL. Might do that for a bit not sure... The money thing is a killer I hear that! I need food packs not just liquid... I'm spoilt now. Gotta keep focused.
 
Hey empty inside, your post really touched a nerve with me, i could relate to all of it...how are you getting on? I'm going to an appointment/meeting whatever, i'm not even sure, tonight...don't know if i can do this, will see xxx
 
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