First date small talk...

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by curvesncurls, 4 March 2011 Social URL.

  1. curvesncurls

    curvesncurls Full Member

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    Ok, first date coming up soon. Like what I've seen so far, so afraid if that I'm gonna clam up! Like a 15 year old deep down:wave_cry: cos can talk away to other people.
    Any tips for keeping the small talk going and not sounding like I'm either very nervous or interviewing him!!??
    Think of it as dating for dummies!
     
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  3. bunnylovesalan

    bunnylovesalan Proud Mama :)

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    I just wanna say good luck, just relax be your self. I am crap with small talk and when I have been on past dates I have talked about heavy ****, thank God I don't have to do that any more :)
     
  4. Medusa

    Medusa Full Member

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    They say that men appreciate a good listener so I'd say do what it takes to keep HIM talking and look interested when he is talking. :eek:

    Good luck....just the thought of a date terrifies me!! :D
     
  5. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    Just be yourself. If he doesn't like you as yourself.................run, escape as fast as you can.

    Good luck. I hope it is as good as you want.
     
  6. chiefbridesmaid

    chiefbridesmaid Silver Member

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    Just relax and be yourself.. And ask him loads of questions.. Men LOVE talking about themselves and telling funny stories to impress you :)

    When I feel nervous I always say something like god I was so nervous about tonight but i feel so relaxed talking to you.. It breaks the ice a little and I feel like if I say it aloud then it calms me within :)

    But most of all just enjoy yourself.. nothing better then a date with someone who gives you butterflies :)
     
  7. Jennyonaplate

    Jennyonaplate Gold Member

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    My friend always used to say to work through the alphabet in your head for different topics- but personally i'd probably get confused!!

    I had a date the other day, and fortunately the conversation seemed to flow, although it's good to have a few things in mind to ask questions about just in case it takes a while to get the conversation going. Family, career, holidays, friends, favourite foods/films/places etc are all good and natural subjects.

    Good luck (and I hope your date goes better than mine, who was lovely but no connection at all!)
     
  8. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    Have you been on your date yet...............if you have, you must tell !!!
     
  9. curvesncurls

    curvesncurls Full Member

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    No, no news yet Fillymum. I met him on the Internet dating site:eek:... Decided I needed to stop hiding behind my weight and get on with meeting people (for people, read men):rolleyes:. Anyways, he got the impression that I head out in his town quite regularly and I thought he might come up and meet me. Emails got a bit "cool" and last thing I heard was that he'd be around this weekend. Not a peep since - so who knows??:cry:
    My town, while fine, has a reputation for being tough, so I guess he mightn't want to come up. It's not Beruit, but my cousin's husband didn't come near the place for the first two years they were going out!
    So, question is - do I email him and see what's going on, or do I leave it be and not appear too eager?
    Answers on a postcard to minimins!
    P.S. I promise to report back IF and WHEN I have something to talk about xx
     
  10. The Punisher

    The Punisher Full Member

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    Ooh, being from West Belfast meself, I'm intrigued to know where you are! :eek:
     
  11. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    I would not email him. I would think if he had anything to say he would have contacted you, at the very least to explain why he wasn't able to make it.

    Don't let it put you off Internet dating, just be careful. Two of my friends and my sister have and have had successful relationships from Internet dating. In fact one is in England right now setting up home with her lovely, lovely man. The other is now married to her man. He re-located from here to England to be with her.

    Good luck.........oh and I found this lovely Victorian postcard for you..........

    [​IMG]

    hugs xxxxx
     
  12. Devon Dolce

    Devon Dolce 1lb at a time!

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    Sue, I love that postcard! xxx
     
  13. curvesncurls

    curvesncurls Full Member

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    Ah gee, thanks for that. I don't intend to email him - I'd be a stubborn so-and-so!!! But then, I've friends who are more, let's just say, pro-active about things and they all seem to have a man!
    Thanks for the replies ladies - I don't think my poor little mind and slightly less little body can cope with all this - stripping it of its sugar and fat revealing a figure underneath and then trying to re-enter the world of dating. How to go from being invisible to visible in thunderbolt steps. Scary stuff, but as they say in AA - one step at a time!
     
  14. Qua Sae

    Qua Sae Full Member

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    I'd email him anyway, you've nothing to lose & at least you might get an answer as to why he didn't come. Try to make it a light hearted email, nothing too intense & you just might get a reply :) What's the worst that could happen?
     
  15. ElleJay67a

    ElleJay67a Full Member

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    I'd reply too, as Gem said you have nothing to lose. Internet dating can be quite impersonal in some ways so really don't take it personally. I did it last year, went on about 3 dates, before I met Mr. Right and now we live together : )

    It definitely works, but its best not to get too 'involved' before you've been on a date iykwim.

    Find out what the score is with this one, if its not the response you were hoping for then move on to the next one... they're like buses! : ) hope it all works out x x
     
  16. curvesncurls

    curvesncurls Full Member

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    Ah thanks for the replies girlies. He did email on the day to say he couldn't make it. He asked me if I wanted to meet up tomorrow or Friday, but it didn't suit. So, left the ball in his court.

    Do you get used to the online dating? It can seem a bit strange, but do you need to be more proactive with it?
     
  17. ElleJay67a

    ElleJay67a Full Member

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    Yes you definitely need to be proactive on this one. It's easier to do via email/messenger etc.... but you also have to be prepared to give up on lost causes and move onto the next date! You also have to be sensible and safe and follow all the rules, meet in a crowded place, don't give you address etc. All obvious stuff.
    Hopefully you won't need to get used to it, because you'll meet someone you click with, but it is good fun meeting new people and each date is good practice for the next one! X
     
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  19. Tinytootz

    Tinytootz Mini crazy cat lady

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    Hey. As someone who is currently in a relationship with a dude from the land of internet, I felt I should comment :)

    Proactive is the way forward in my opinion. As the internet can be so impersonal, being coy doesn't always pay off, or come across as you being coy. By no means offer it up on a plate, but if you want something, you might as well push to try and obtain it :D

    The ball is in his court now, but if he has cooled off, and doesn't reply in what you yourself would deem a timely manner, then I would personally move on. There were lots of chaps who I was messaging at the time, and once they kinda cooled off, if I wasn't that bothered, I sort of took the hint and backed off. But there was one that I clicked with, so I went for it, and thankfully it paid off.

    Always be safe though. When I was younger I dabbled in internet dating, in the age of chat rooms. I wasn't safe with it though, and had a few very scary moments.

    Good luck, and let us know how you get on :) x
     
  20. Leapfrog

    Leapfrog Champion actifryer

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    I agree with both comments above. I am getting married in August to the man I tell people I "bought" on the internet lol!

    Before I met him I had some interesting chats online and had contact from some complete t**sers too. I had a few dates with some really nice people, but nothing clicked and we didn't take it any further. Having said that, nothing "clicked" with my OH at first either - in fact it was a bit of a let down, as we'd spent so long, literally hours and hours, chatting online that the reality was disappointing. Despite our different backgrounds (me English and him French) we had so much in common, including the same sense of humour.

    I think I expected it to be love at first sight when we first met and was really deflated when I didn't fancy him - I do now though!

    I'm a great advocate of internet dating. I think the result is a relationship based on personality rather than appearance. You get to know people you would possibly never have even given a second glance to if you'd seen them in a bar etc. if you know what I mean.

    Good luck, have fun and stay safe
     
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