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Food reflection...


Silver Member
I have been doing some reflecting on why I have overate so much in my life. The conclusion is that for me food is how I deal with my life. If I am sad I eat, if I am angry I eat, when I am happy I eat, tearful eat, depressed eat, excited eat, worried eat etc etc etc...

But I not only ate, I stuffed to capacity and beyond! It is so obvious to me now that my eating habits were very abnormal. I never considered myself to have an eating disorder because I considered bulimia and anorexia to be disorders but now looking back I am beginning to wonder :confused:

All this has come about because I have been struggling to decide what I will eat when I go on holiday! It has dawned on me that I never looked on food as being enjoyable!!! It was just there, something to travel from hand to mouth to stomach in the quickest time possible. I was never sated and always eager for more.

Oh my goodness this is like some kind of enlightenment. I was never sated because I wasn't hungry. I was trying to solve my life events with FOOD!!!!!!

I am now in my 3rd week without food and you know what? My life has not crumbled and I can cope very well if not better than when I am obsessed about food. I don't know whether to cry, kick and scream because of all those wasted years or laugh and be thankful that I can now make life changes.

I have made my decision regarding my holiday and that is to go away and have what ever I want in a relaxed and measured way. I am not going to overeat but I am not going to say no to anything I fancy either. I really want to eat the way I will in the long term and make eating an enjoyable part of my holiday.

Thinking about what is healthy and making right choices is for the rest of the year! The one thing I want to achieve is to not use food as a tool for comforting myself or use it as a form of self abuse. Both of which is the reason behind the size I am.

Being on LT has given me time away from stuffing my face and also helped me to realise that I can manage my life just fine without using it has an emotional crutch.

Sorry for the ramble but I just had to put this in writing.

Colleen xxx
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Silver Member
Gosh it looks like you have took a weight off your shoulders. Now you can see clearly, you are in a better position to change your eating habits. Food is to refuel. And not a hobby or obsession. :) xx (thats what I keep telling myself)

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