For those who are struggling

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by ladylite, 11 January 2008 Social URL.

  1. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    I dont know what is happening, but I am really struggling at the moment. I feel really weak and out of control. I wont tell you what I did last night as I am ashamed.

    Everyone seems to be so good, I feel like a failure. No I am not giving up, but I am frightened that I am going down hill.

    I am on week 8 has anyone gone through this self distruct feeling at this stage and what do I do.

    I did all the brain thinking whilst I was going through this, but it was like I couldnt get in touch with the right part of the brain. I always seem to self distruct when I am doing well and I am so afraid that this is what is happening.

    Sorry for the English/spelling wrote quickly before I changed my mind about telling.
    :break_diet:
     
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  3. mandye

    mandye Silver Member

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    most of us have gone through a time like this. Keep posting peeps will be along soon for suport and ideas of how to distract yourself .I take my self for a walk or some exercise ,warm bath relaxing music all these help and of course asking for suport on here xxxx
    what ever you have done draw a line and step over it xxxx
     
  4. Deb G

    Deb G Silver Member

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    Do as I am doing now I am struggling - take one day at a time. Concentrate on sticking to it 100% for that whole day. Then, start the next day as a clean sheet and concentrate on 100% adherence that day too. I got past my 100 days easily, but then found it hard as I am concentrating on an end date. I'm now going back to the one day at a time method, and I'm feeling much more positive today already. I've never lapsed, but if I was going to, it'll be between now and RTM on 9th Feb!
     
  5. leesy

    leesy Full Member

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    Sorry to hear you are struggling Lady - but I think you will find it is very common at this stage in your journey - talk to your counsellor and I am sure she will agree.

    Not sure why - maybe its the midway point feeling of foundation, I have no idea. But lots of us in my group found week 8 a struggle.

    Head down, I promise it gets better!

    Take care,

    Leesy
    xox
     
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  6. LilacAngel

    LilacAngel Full Member

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    A lapse isn't a collapse - it's an opportunity to learn. At this stage you may be going through a realisation that you are giving up your old way of eating forever - it's a transition and a "mourning" your old food life and normal and healthy too! Hormones will affect your mood and your perception.
    Think a little spoiling yourself and rewarding yourself for doing so well is in order!

    Look over your shoulder and see how far you have come!

    How about writing down about last night and then take it to Group when you next attend? Ask your Counsellor to help with a Thought Record around your experience. That's something the whole Group will benefit from.
     
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  7. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

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    Lady today is a new day - don't worry about what happened yesterday, that's gone and you can't change it but you can learn from it. Remember for the future how you feel now so that if you feel a lapse coming on you'll know that it's really not worth it.

    You're doing brilliantly, you've always got excellent losses and if you do what you're planning to do by not giving up but sticking with it you'll be feeling much better and getting closer and closer to your goal.
     
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  8. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    Thank you all for your support, since writing the post I have done a lot of thinking, and crying.:cry:

    At the group meeting this week I found it difficult doing the Lifeline as I knew it was going to throw up some past feelings which I didnt really want to think about. Believing myself to be a big strong girl, thats what hubby calls me (in a nice way), I think that I wasnt as strong as I thought and the feelings were still inside but hidden by fat and food.

    My family have been exceptionally supportive of me and last night I just felt that there were being too strick, although today it does not seem like this. I need great deal of help to get throught this. I rebelled and went and hid in the bedroom and binged. I say binged, it was no where near the binges I used to do, but it seemed like a binge.

    As I said I have done some thinking today and have been really upset this morning and have realised that as I go through this journey, this is going to happen and am prepared to put up with it.

    I am now thinking more positive, have decided for the next 3 days to increase my water to 6 litres (I find that difficult at work), and stay in abstinace, if I feel like wavering, I will be on here like a shot.

    I am not giving in I can do this, but must understand that I may not do in such style as some of you as I have had a lot of issues in my life which will need sorting on the way. Deaths, beatings, divorces, abortions, miscarriages no wonder I have a lot of issues, but I intend to deal with them and not cover them up with the fat and food any more.

    Believe it or not I thought I had dealt with them, but now I am losing weight and not stuffing day and night, I realize they are still be there but were just hidden. Dont get me wrong my life now is hunkey dorey, except for the weight, but I think I am slightly frightened of being 100% successful in case someone comes and takes something away again.

    Thank you so much for your help :)

    PS for the next 3 days (as I am at home) I am going to post on this thread everything I put in my mouth, including water - and do it honestly.
    1 litre gone already.
     
    Last edited: 11 January 2008
  9. Deb G

    Deb G Silver Member

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    Hmmm.....it is surprising how much hurt and pain we keep down with stuffing our faces. Once that 'release' is taken away, we realise how much it affects us. All my food issues began with external situations, but they ruled my life for years. Now I feel that I have finally dealt with them and put them to bed forever so I can get on with my life. I'm sure you'll get to the stage when you do the same. Other diets criticise this abstinence period, but this is one of the reasons why it is essentail - it helps you to see your relationship with food in the cold light of day and learn from it.

    When I've had hard times I think about how I am doing it for me AND my horse!! You've got a lovely chap/chapess in that photo, and think about how much happier he/she will be with less of you on his/her back!!! Malachy has had 2 months off, and when I got on him last week, he seemed visibly shocked (even my trainer said so - she thought it was hilarious!). He's even learning how to rebalance himself. So keep that in mind too!

    Keep your chin up - and keep strong. You're doing REALLY well.
     
  10. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    Thanks for the compliment, but unfortunately it is my skinny daughter on the horse not me.:sigh: That is one of my goals to get on again.:cool:

    As promised

    1 Coffee lattee
    another 1/2 litre - better get glugging. total so far 1.50 litres.
    PS cant give up given all my size 22 clothes way.
     
  11. Miss Fenella

    Miss Fenella Full Member

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    LadyL if you look through my posts you will see I went through this in early Dec (about my week 8). So I am living proof that it does pass and you can get through it.

    If you slip - learn from it and resolve not to fall into that pattern again - your new habit is being a sensible eater, that is your 'norm', not over eating or making poor choices.

    You have already changed and the new you, the fit healthy and trim you has excellent eating habits - the blip is poor eating you are not slipping back to old habits it's too late for that because your new habits are too ingrained and too wanted by you.

    I always do a bit of clothes browsing on the web when I feel hungry - just to remind myself that food comes and goes but fab clothes can last a life time!

    Hope you come through this horrid phase soon - you are strong and can resolve to beat it but we are all here for you - just yell! :hugs:
     
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  12. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    As promised
    1 coffee latte
    1 mushroom soup
    3 litres of water - I still behind, better keep glugging.
     
  13. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

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    :innocent0002: Good on you Lady, you've done brilliantly today - keep on going :)
     
  14. Greavsie

    Greavsie Member

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    C'mon Ladylite you can do it - you got past Christmas and you can do this now. The fact that you've been able to think through why you did what you did and have now moved on just underlines what everyone's been saying on here about drawing a line and stepping over it and learning from our lapses. And the one day at a time is good too - that's how I got through Foundation - with mini-goals too. Have you done any 10% weight loss goals? They kept me on track - that and planning treats for when I reached them (doesn't have to be expensive...new nail varnish/lipstick)....also I used to spend a LOT of time on ASOS.com - The Online Fashion Store - Women's Clothing & Designer Clothes looking at clothes I would buy and even bought a very cheap prom dress from Matalan in a small size that I hung on the outside of my wardrobe door so it was the last thing I looked at at night and the first thing I saw in the morning - and I did get into it! (Little on the tight side now tho'- but we live and learn as everyone's said above and I'm back on the programme with renewed effort). Spend some time visualising yourself at your next social event - have you got your outfit for the wedding yet? Lots of things to think about other than food - and absolutely go girl on the water - I posted an article to my blog t'other day on how drinking the water actually does help you lose the water (I'm struggling on the water front at the moment despite knowing what I should be doing....ahhh putting it into practice is the tricky bit)

    Keep the faith and keep posting!
    Gx
     
  15. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    As promised
    1 coffee latte
    2 mushroom soups - I love that stuff, especially the bits at the bottom.:)
    4.5 litres of water - I will need a potty by the bed tonight. I was going to say cathiter (but as you can see cant spell it).:sigh:
     
  16. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Hi Ladylite.

    I wish I could hug you - I just read your very honest post and I feel as if I know you - I can relate to nearly everything you wrote as your issues, and know from personal experience just how deep those scars can be. I will be facing the same thing during this journey and I am a little afraid by that - I have buried a lot of old hurts and events uder layers of fat, and I just know they are there waiting to come out, one level at a time....and there will be no escaping! (I suppose we can now try and drown them with water rathar then stuff them with food......but since water is transparent and they will be there waiting for us! I guess there is no escaping, and really that is a good thing)

    You were brave and honest to post that - but just know, you are not alone.

    Please don't be ashamed of ANYTHING you do during this program - this is no walk in the park and you my friend are very human.

    You will get there - as someone said, look back at how far you have come and pat yourself on the back for that, and then hug yourself for being human.

    All the best during the tough days.

    xx
     
  17. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    Thanks BL I am feeling a lot better and dont worry we can do this. That is why I chose LL instead of CD as I need the support. Mind you the support on here is overwealming.:psiholog:
     
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  19. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    As promised - from yesterday
    1 coffee latte
    2 mushroom soups - I love that stuff, especially the bits at the bottom.:)
    1 crispy peanunt bar
    5.5 litres of water - I will need a potty by the bed tonight. I was going to say cathiter (but as you can see cant spell it).:sigh:

    Well thanks guys suvived a whole day of abtinance again and increased water to 5.5 (could make 6).

    Went to the loo 4 times in the night, does the water have this effect on anyone else.

    oh today
    1 litre water.

    This post really helped keep on track I noticed on the CD thread they have a thread lets do it hour by hour so I am gonna start one so everyone can join in.
     
  20. Miss Fenella

    Miss Fenella Full Member

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    I pee all through the night and sometimes even get out of bed :rotflmao:

    Seriously it is a pita, but I drink most of my water (about 5 lts) after work because dashing out of metings every 5 mins is not practical.

    Hope you are finding it easier - I might do the hour by hour thing. I need some discipline
     
  21. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

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    Well I'm lucky in that I've been drinking my 6L but haven't yet got up once during the night to go to the loo ...... though I am going countless times a day.
     
  22. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    You are lucky!! :p I was up at least three times that I remember!! lol I just tell myself each time I go, that I am going back to bed lighter!! hehe

    Hope you're having a good day Katie. :)

    x
     
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