funniest work moments

[jazz]

ok,isobel as thrown the gauntlet . lets have your stories of funny things that have happened to you or other ( not necessarily at work)in shops or school or work .

me first .
most recently , i drunk arguementive relative was demanding to see the consultant ( for our purpose Dr smith ). i was explaining in very patient terms that as it was a weekend he wouldnt be able to see dr smith as he wasnt on call and this discussion had been going on for about 5 minutes and becoming more heated on his part .
out of the corner of my eye ,i spot dr smith sneaking behind the relative and trying to make good his escape , unsuccessfully as it turned out . my fellow collegues thought it hysterical .no you cant see dr , oh look he is behind you .

 

[Mrs Pink]

I am a lawyer and one time I had a case for a lady in her 90's who fell over a box which had been left lying in the middle of the floor in a shop. The poor old dear broke her hip and ended up in hospital for a long time. She and her husband of 70 years had up until this point managed to live together in their home but when she was in hospital he was unable to cope and had to go into a home as well, where, sadly, he died. We all felt terribly sorry for her as you can imagine - it was very sad.
The dastardly Defenders in the case alleged that she hadn't in fact fallen over any box they had (negligently) left lying around - their defence was that she had fainted, therefore it was her own fault and they were not to blame. The old lady firmly stated that this was simply untrue - she hadn't fainted, and indeed she had only ever fainted ONCE in her life and that was when, age 16, she had been at the cinema watching what would at the time have been a silent movie of Boris Karloff playing "The Mummy". This was duly recorded in her statement, which was provided to the advocate(barrister) who was to conduct the case. (continued ....)

 

[CLUCKS]

Hiding under the desk!

I once had a self-employed ex member of staff in to office to collect a cheque.... It was less than he was expecting, though I had explained & explained & re-explained why it was the amount it was.......

Anyway he came to the door - I saw him, so shot of my chair & crawled under my desk pulling my chair in behind me at the exact moment that my Customer Serv Exec came walking to my desk to tell me he was here!

All she saw was the cheque stuck on my PC screen and the chair moving in under my desk!

To say she p!ssed herself all afternoon was an understatement - she still recalls the story to all and sundry now.....

Incidently I'm the manager of the office

 

[Miss_Rooster]

PMSL!!!! Sounds like a few bridget Jones moments there

 

[Isobel1965]

OK - this is the one that still causes my cheeks to flush in embarrassment/shame/hysteria!!

I was head of year 11 in an inner-city tough ol' school. One of my duties was to interview new admissions.

One day, I received a handwritten application from a lad called 'Hardon Fazli' from Afghanistan.

Oh dear, I thought - this is going to be a tricky one.

So the interview came - the lad turfed up with his older brother -both v.good looking young fellas - both looked in their 30s tbh!!

SO, I go through the interview process, calling him by his name all the way through, looking him in the eye, not giggling one bit, asking him about options for GCSE and all the boring bits....so I get all the way through that and then think - ok, Isobel, take the bull by the horns and tackle the issue of his highly unusual name. Knowing the kids in my yeargroup, they were going to have a FIELD day with him!

Soooo - I start to gently explain the slang connotations of his name and would he prefer for us to call him 'Don' for example, or some other nickname of his choice, to prevent any potential embarrassment/bullying/harrassment that his given name might cause him.

He and his brother exchanged glances.

I remained silent - respectful of the cultural differences - and just waited.


Finally, the brother looked at me and said ' "madam, my brother's name is HAROON'.

Oh!



Shame his handwriting was rubbish, hey?


(The aftermath of the story is that I managed to conduct the rest of the interview successfully, with all the dignity I could muster......accompanied them to the door and waved them off.......ran into the headteacher's office and cried with laughter. No one could get any sense out of me for several minutes!


I NEVER lived THAT one down!)

 

[CLUCKS]

 

[Mrs Pink]

(continued from previous post)
Our advocate, who was a happily married man in his early 50's, began the questioning of this lovely frail old dear. "So", he said "As you know the Defenders in this case state that you did not trip over any box - their defence is that you fainted. Now, I know what your position is on that because I have read your statement, (big smile, rubbing his hands together in glee) but I just want to hear you SAY it..... why did you faint when you were 16?"
Old lady, somewhat bewildered replied........


" It was my period" ....

No-one else in the Court apart from me had seen her statement mentioning Boris Karloff - hence everyone else present thought he was some kind of sick pervert!

 

[Isobel1965]

Hahahah - classic, Mrs P!!

xxxxxxx

 

[Miss_Rooster]

LOL very good.
Well mine is really embarrassing. Ive had the usual trip up the steps in the waiting room and walking through the door to the waiting room, cool as a cucumber and getting my cardigan caught on the door so i get yanked back but my two most memorable were these -

My collegue was in my office, I was sat up to my desk and she was lent on the wall right next to the door. We were talking about our terminally ill grandmas (tragic it was oh so damn funny a few seconds later).

She was telling me about a trip to see her and for this she had to do some acting. So she acted a bit and leaned on the wall to finish. Acted some more and leaned again. Then without her knowing, she had somehow moved to the left a bit whilst acting the next bit, went to lean on the wall again and had a delboy moment. All seriousness on her face, she just went down like a sack of ****, straight through the open door!
I almost wet myself!

My next was in a staff meeting. I had to fart so badly but i squeezed together so hard that it came out like silent bubble and embedded themselves you know where. For half an hour this went on. When I stood up to go to the loo near the end you can guess what happened. The bubbles got released and a huge trumpet soundcame out. How I EVER went back to work i dont know.

 

[jazz]

you are all brilliant.

 

[jazz]

just this week i had a man come in for a removal of foreign object from back passage . i cant go into detail but i had to admit him and take him to theatre and receive he back and discharge him. the object had batteries in it . the xrays did the rounds of the hospital ,much to everyones delight. i was mortified ,how do you make small talk,what would you talk about. SORRY IF THIS IS A BIT RUDE ,UNFORTUNATELY NURSES HAVE A WARPED SENSE OF HUMOUR

 

[MadamDotty]

LOL very good.
Well mine is really embarrassing. Ive had the usual trip up the steps in the waiting room and walking through the door to the waiting room, cool as a cucumber and getting my cardigan caught on the door so i get yanked back but my two most memorable were these -

My collegue was in my office, I was sat up to my desk and she was lent on the wall right next to the door. We were talking about our terminally ill grandmas (tragic it was oh so damn funny a few seconds later).

She was telling me about a trip to see her and for this she had to do some acting. So she acted a bit and leaned on the wall to finish. Acted some more and leaned again. Then without her knowing, she had somehow moved to the left a bit whilst acting the next bit, went to lean on the wall again and had a delboy moment. All seriousness on her face, she just went down like a sack of ****, straight through the open door!
I almost wet myself!

My next was in a staff meeting. I had to fart so badly but i squeezed together so hard that it came out like silent bubble and embedded themselves you know where. For half an hour this went on. When I stood up to go to the loo near the end you can guess what happened. The bubbles got released and a huge trumpet soundcame out. How I EVER went back to work i dont know.

OMG Miss Rooster, that's made me laugh so much, how embarrassing, I would have died, but that's sooooo funny (now wiping away the tears).

I'll have to think of one of mine (so many to choose from )

 

[Eclipse]

My worst was in our local club many years ago. There was an elderly chap at the bar, who had the most enormous nose, very red and bulbous! I went up to the barman to get a box of matches, and this aforementioned elderly chap moved aside for me to be served, so I said thank you, and then promptly asked the barman for "a box of noses please"! I could have died on the spot

 

[jazz]

HA HA HA ,THAT IS GREAT

 

[CLUCKS]

EXCELLENT

LOL very good.
Well mine is really embarrassing. Ive had the usual trip up the steps in the waiting room and walking through the door to the waiting room, cool as a cucumber and getting my cardigan caught on the door so i get yanked back but my two most memorable were these -

My collegue was in my office, I was sat up to my desk and she was lent on the wall right next to the door. We were talking about our terminally ill grandmas (tragic it was oh so damn funny a few seconds later).

She was telling me about a trip to see her and for this she had to do some acting. So she acted a bit and leaned on the wall to finish. Acted some more and leaned again. Then without her knowing, she had somehow moved to the left a bit whilst acting the next bit, went to lean on the wall again and had a delboy moment. All seriousness on her face, she just went down like a sack of ****, straight through the open door!
I almost wet myself!

My next was in a staff meeting. I had to fart so badly but i squeezed together so hard that it came out like silent bubble and embedded themselves you know where. For half an hour this went on. When I stood up to go to the loo near the end you can guess what happened. The bubbles got released and a huge trumpet soundcame out. How I EVER went back to work i dont know.

What an absolute corker!!!!!!

 

[Fuzzys Angel]

THEY'RE ALL GREAT...LOL

THIS IS NOT A WORK FUNNIEST MOMENT BUT I'D LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL THE SAME!

Many years ago this girl turn't up at my house, no idea why has i hadn't seen or spoke to her in years (not even a friend of mine! We had never got on growing up!). I was speaking to her at the door, didn't want to ask her in as i didn't want to start it becoming a regular habbit, i wasn't keen on this person but i didn't want to to nasty either. so will chatted for a short while, i told her i must go because i was in the middle of getting ready to go out (not really). she then ask for my phone number so we could keep intouch....OH NO....QUICK THINKING, .....i said to her. "Oh,Sorry but i've had my phone cut off!"...

With that the phone rang.... :sign0007: . I answered it, then came back to the front door and said "you wan't believe this, but that it was BT the cheeky sods have just rang to say they were taking me to court for non payment of bill!!. They make me sick i told her....."Fancy putting the phone back on just to tell me that"?!....LOL

Don't know how i got away with it but i did, this girl never knocked on my door again....I wonder why?...lol

xxx

 

[notsotrim]

i love farting humour

 

[Miss_Rooster]

Do you love it when you fart when swimming so the bubbles go up your costume?

 

[notsotrim]

Ha ha! Anything to do with farting is funny for some reason!

 

[jazz]

Old People Farting Is So Funny