funny email i recieved hope i dont offend anyone

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by kazzymc, 9 July 2008 Social URL.

  1. kazzymc

    kazzymc Gold Member

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    Dear Wife:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
    Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of
    your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
    Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
    Your EX-Husband
    P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!



    Dear Ex-Husband -
    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven
    years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
    I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
    I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my
    mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
    And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MYSISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
    About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.
    After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
    I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.
    Signed,
    Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem
     
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  3. now_or_never

    now_or_never Member

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    Hahaha brilliant that did make me laugh!
     
  4. saraian24

    saraian24 Gold Member

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    That made me LOL!!!! well funny!!!:)
     
  5. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

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  6. xowee-shortieox

    xowee-shortieox Slowly Shrinking. Yay!!

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  7. dietingqueen

    dietingqueen Gold Member

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    HA HA HA HA love it x
     
  8. 30FlirtyGirl

    30FlirtyGirl Call me Nicky xx

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    thats brilliant xx
     
  9. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

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    haha lol
     
  10. alibalibee

    alibalibee Gold Member

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    Brill :D :D :D
     
  11. Hedgemag

    Hedgemag Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    PMSL Love it
     
  12. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    :D:D:D:D:D:D:D...thanks for the laugh!!!!
     
  13. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    That was a corker!!!![​IMG]
     
  14. HelenG

    HelenG Member

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    Dashed good question Jeeves!
    Absolutely blooming hysterical!!!!
     
  15. Lynn8124

    Lynn8124 Gold Member

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    I must read that to Mum next time I phone her. :giggle:
     
  16. oisin

    oisin Silver Member

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    Brilliant lol
     
  17. Big Momma B

    Big Momma B Member

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    luv it hahahaha !!! :)
     
  18. lippy66

    lippy66 Member

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    LOL - thanks for that!
    I have a good friend going through a separation and she fantasises about winning the lottery and telling him he's just missed out.Sadly it probably won't happen in real life but it's good to dream.
     
  19. Emmaline

    Emmaline Hippety Hop!

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    Really good laugh - nice twist!

    Sort of reminds me that when my ex left me (years ago now) I felt I had won the lottery anyway, sooo glad I was free from his violent and possessive ways, plus she was the exact opposite of me and made him wash floors,-the lot. I had a real good laugh at that.
     
  20. kellyf

    kellyf New Member

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    lol that's brill!!
     
  21. Blue Butterfly

    Blue Butterfly Gold Member

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    Bahahahah, that is excellent. Thanks for posting it.

    x
     
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