funny, funny misused words.

skinnydawn said:
I was in my biology sex education lesson years ago, and my friend Lucy was reading to the all girl class from a text book. Our teacher, Mr Powell, was already looking a little uncomfortable. All was well until she merrily informed us of how our bodies would change, and how we would all be sporting 'PUBLIC HAIR'! Bless her, she hadn't a clue what she'd said and couldn't figure out all the giggling. I later went on to marry the teacher by the way ;)
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That must've been strange marrying your teacher lol
 
My H & I went to a pub for lunch & he ordered 'welsh rarebit'. The waitress came out with cheese on toast he said to her 'Where's the rabbit?' To this day I think it's so funny & I keep reminding him about it every so often..
 
big bear said:
That must've been strange marrying your teacher lol
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It was a bit strange...particularly on our 1st night together and I had to resist the urge to call him Mr Powell lol! :eek:
 
skinnydawn said:
It was a bit strange...particularly on our 1st night together and I had to resist the urge to call him Mr Powell lol! :eek:
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Oh the mind boggles, I hope he didn't get you to dress up as a school girl lol

How on earth did you get together? Did you like him when you was at school?
 
I did like him at school but obviously there was nothing in it. Gwyn was happily married and I had my boyfriends, and Gwyn and Rosemary (his 1st wife) came to my wedding in 1985 just after I left school. We all kept in touch with xmas cards but never met up, and I was busy with 3 children. Then my first marriage broke up, and I spent 10 years on my own. During this time we had still exchanged xmas cards, and for some reason I put a note in Gwyns card in2003 asking if he'd like to meet up, look at old school photos etc. and he wrote back asking me to give him a ring, which I did. We met up for a meal and I learned that sadly Rosemary had died a few years earlier. Anyway we had such a nice night we arranged to meet again 2 weeks later...and 12 months later we were married! We have had some people think we are father and daughter which makes us giggle a bit! :eek: And yes I did call him Mr Powell in bed once :d'oh:
I was dead against ever marrying again as my 1st marriage was a disaster, and Gwyn had never considered that he would re marry as Rosemary was his first and only love up until we met again. Just goes to show you you never know what life has in store for you!
 
I must also add that I have made some faux pas in the past here in France where I live. Just getting one sound wrong can make all the difference! I asked for a "caniche" (poodle) when I wanted a "canife" (penknife).

On a campsite I once asked for a "matelot" (pronounced "matlow" and meaning sailor) instead of a "matelas" (pronounced "matla" and meaning mattress). I thought the French member of staff was being a bit dim when he asked me why I wanted a matelot. I compounded the shame when I said well, to sleep on of course! Me and OH (who is French) still refer to the electric blanket (in French "matelas chauffant") as the "matelot chauffant"!!!
 
I sit opposite someone at work who is always checking whether people are "illegible" for a discount.
 
MadameLaMinx said:
Visiting Blackpool Illuminations or playing Trivial Pursuit?? :D:D
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Silly girl.....Trivial Pursuit of course !!!!

No Blackpool Illuminations hold fond memories for me. Of great family times with my parents and siblings.


Leapfrog said:
I must also add that I have made some faux pas in the past here in France where I live. Just getting one sound wrong can make all the difference! I asked for a "caniche" (poodle) when I wanted a "canife" (penknife).

On a campsite I once asked for a "matelot" (pronounced "matlow" and meaning sailor) instead of a "matelas" (pronounced "matla" and meaning mattress). I thought the French member of staff was being a bit dim when he asked me why I wanted a matelot. I compounded the shame when I said well, to sleep on of course! Me and OH (who is French) still refer to the electric blanket (in French "matelas chauffant") as the "matelot chauffant"!!!
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Oh how I can relate to this Hilary. I made so many in the early days and I still blush about some of them.

One was going to the butchers and asking for a 3 kilo polla. A 3 kilo chicken.......I thought !! Chicken is masculine so therefore ends with O pollo. As I wanted one with plenty of meat on I thought I would be clever and ask for a girl chicken thus changing the gender by changing the O to an A, I thought !!! What I had ordered was a 3 kilo willie !!!! The butcher was fits of laughter as were the other people in the shop. I did not find out what was so funny until I asked a girl friend what I had said to make them laugh so much.

On another occasion I asked for a kilo of besos instead of a kilo of huesos. Besos means kisses, huesos means bones. I wanted them to make a meat stock.

I still see the butcher and every now and again we have a chuckle about my "sexy" orders.

Keep them coming friends, you brighten my day. Thank you.
 
fillymum said:
Oh how I can relate to this Hilary. I made so many in the early days and I still blush about some of them.

One was going to the butchers and asking for a 3 kilo polla. A 3 kilo chicken.......I thought !! Chicken is masculine so therefore ends with O pollo. As I wanted one with plenty of meat on I thought I would be clever and ask for a girl chicken thus changing the gender by changing the O to an A, I thought !!! What I had ordered was a 3 kilo willie !!!! The butcher was fits of laughter as were the other people in the shop. I did not find out what was so funny until I asked a girl friend what I had said to make them laugh so much.

On another occasion I asked for a kilo of besos instead of a kilo of huesos. Besos means kisses, huesos means bones. I wanted them to make a meat stock.

I still see the butcher and every now and again we have a chuckle about my "sexy" orders.
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Your cooking sounds wonderful, Sue. As it should be, prepared with love ;)
 
Oh, and another old favourite, that you hear quite frequently: "It was a bit of a damp squid".

That ALWAYS makes me laugh. I can't imagine that many squid are ever completely dry...
 
This isn't so much a misused word as a mistype but it still makes me giggle so I thought I would share it with you.......
When I was pregnant with my little girl I met some other pregnant girls on a baby site, anyway we all got chatty and used to chat on MSN whilst reading posts on the forum, at this particular time there was a lot of nasty trolling going on and individuals were being targeted. We were chatting about it on MSN and my friend typed "I'm not bothered about it, if I see my name being mentioned I just sh*t down the screen" (She meant shut down), the visions that went through my head!!! She still hasn't lived it down more than 2 years on :p
 
Ever since my mum had an accident she gets mixed up very easy.

The best has got to be whilst out shopping she asked 4 shop assitants were she could find s*hag, she then phones really confused as to why she cant find it, for me to then tell her it is actually Stagg lol.
 
My granddaughter when she was little regularly, instead of asking for popcorn at the cinema asked in a very loud voice for...................cock porn.

Heaven only knows what people thought!
 
I once worked with a very flamboyant gay man - he was fab. We were fighting over who was going to serve the table with 2 VERY cute men on it. He won!!

When it was time for the pudding menu, he flounced across all confident. I couldn't hear what was said but he coloured beetroot and scuttled back behind the bar

When I asked what had happened he told me that he read out the specials to them and uttered the words "we have a lovely stiffy cocky pudding"

xx
 
My husbands gran used to have us roaring with laughter, a particular favourite mix up was when she rang me up to complain about her detached rectum! (retina) Ouch! :)
 
We were watching the rugby when I was heavily pregnant (my excuse for the following) and I asked my husband why it said "Penal Ties" at the top of the screen
Obviously it said "penalties"
I have never lived that down and that baby is 7 now lol
 
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