Gone to pot altogether!!

happygal

happygal

Banned
Guys

I really do MEAN IT THIS TIME but I have gone to pot altogether over the last 2 days!! My cousins were over from England and requested my speciality Lasagne and chicken in a creamy pepper sauce and I went a ate it!! That wouldnt be too bad apart from the fact that everytime there was a cup of tea made you were badgered into having something with it!! Then when I went to my friend Gerards I ended up eating stuff I shouldnt (namely mini rolls and those bread rolls with coconut and icing on top). Gerards mum just died who he used to look after, so he is used to feeding people and must be missing this because no matter how many times you say the word No its not listened to. If it was set in the middle of the table for you to reach for then I would be able to resist but both my cousins and Gerard put the thing right under your nose and then the psychological war of my grandmothers voice rings out in my head saying "Its rude not to eat whats given to you". Its actually very similar to the voice that says "Eat up whats on your plate and dont put that to waste, there are wee ethiopian boys and girls who would love to have that food to eat".

Why is it that just when Im so focused something like this comes along??? I really cant wait to move into my own place because if Mums not force feeding me stuff I dont want, then someone else is shoving chocolate in my face!!

Im so depressed now its unbelievable. Ive probably put on the full 4.5lbs I had lost and Im scared to stand on the scales!:(
 
Hi mate

It's hard to go against what's ingrained in you, and it sounds like you have faced some pretty difficult situations.

Perhaps you could sit your mother down and explain how unhappy it's making you, and you need her help to get on and stay on the wagon? Family members like to think they are helping you out, and if you share how you feel it will give her something to focus on.

In the end, the only person that can put the food into your mouth is you - a tough situation, because so many of us use food for many things. You have to learn to stay strong and stick with it mate.

Sorry if that sounds harsh - I don't mean it to.
 
I think your being a bit hard on yourself.. its always hard in those situations to say no... and when people shove it in your face is practically impossible! Its only 2 days... just continue how you were and you may be suprised... if you try not to eat anything else you can limit any damage, just dont think that now youve eaten something in the last 2 days that all is lost, it isnt :)

I think you should be brave, stand on the scales and either say "oh well" and continue the good work , or.. "that isnt as bad as I thought".. and continue the good work... just DONT GIVE UP! Taking the step of standing on the scales could be the motivation you need to kick start yourself back into it!

And trust me, I totally know where your coming from on the Mum front - mines exactly the same.. she says its only a little treat as youve done so well... then I go and eat loads!!!
 
Just a little treat will make you cry! You need to ask your family if they really want you to cry?? Try reminding them everytime they push food under you nose "take it away now or you'll make cry" - anyone who has a problem with that.... explain to them it won't be forever, IF YOU STICK TO IT, but if you give in then it will drag out forever. Ask them why they are so selfish as to not see the weight is hurting your health and upsetting you? Tell them - all you're trying to do is get healthy and they should be proud and supportive. Perhaps plan a big party together when you get to target?? So you all have something to look forward to?
 
My mam is forever asking me if I want a mint and then says you can just suck it and then throw it away. I always say no thank you. Don't worry you've eaten those things now so concentrate from now.
Irene xx
 
Lesleyfx said:
Just a little treat will make you cry! You need to ask your family if they really want you to cry?? Try reminding them everytime they push food under you nose "take it away now or you'll make cry" - anyone who has a problem with that.... explain to them it won't be forever, IF YOU STICK TO IT, but if you give in then it will drag out forever. Ask them why they are so selfish as to not see the weight is hurting your health and upsetting you? Tell them - all you're trying to do is get healthy and they should be proud and supportive. Perhaps plan a big party together when you get to target?? So you all have something to look forward to?
Click to expand...

One of the best posts I have read on this :D
 
Hi Guys

I really am a push over when it comes to family and thats no joke. I will just have to do it when Im away from them. Then I can choose whether to eat or not and I wont be able to blame anyone but myself. Whenever I refuse stuff they ask if their baking isnt good enough or not nice and whenever you said it is nice they say well take some then.

Im gonna have to stand on the scales tomorrow and face the music. My CDC still hasnt got back to me and Im wondering if she is still doing it at all. Will try again tomorrow.
 
Hi Happy, I would suggest trying what Lesley said - even with the attitude they seem to have, does your family really want to see you cry?
 
That makes an awful lot of sense - a lot of people go through the same. In which case honey, blunt as this may be, it's time for you to do what makes YOU happy. And if they think you're being 'rude' by saying no then tough sh!t on them - if they won't support you in something that means so much, then why should you bend to them?!
 
Hi Ya

Do you think Im being too soft then? I really hate offending people but I suppose in a way I may have to when Im in their company again. My Fiance is brilliant and not because he wants me to lose weight. He didnt understand why I wanted to lose it at first but when He seen how happy I was when the scales moved the right way, he was so happy I was happy. He even changed his own eating habits around me a bit. He is one of these annoying people that can eat all he sees and not get fat but he is so coniderate its unbelieveable. He watched a programme last night on TV about how hard it is for fat people to get clothes and he was almost in tears telling me about the plight of these people.
 
happygal said:
Hi Ya

Do you think Im being too soft then? I really hate offending people but I suppose in a way I may have to when Im in their company again.
Click to expand...

I don't think you're being too soft - I think it's more that if they are not going to help you, you need to accept that and find ways to work round them. And learn to say no!!

Glad your fiance is supporting you because that is SO important :D
 
One of the early things I learnt was that you don't actually NEED other people's approval for this diet. Of course it's nice if you have it, but you don't NEED it. If they have a problem with you trying your best to get fit and healthier, then it's THEIR problem, not yours. If they are offended a bit at first, then that's the way it is. They'll soon get over it when they see how determined you are.
I remember when I was on holiday with brother in law about 10 weeks into VLCD. I was sticking to SS - we were in a villa and it was not a problem to me. One night, BIL, feeling sorry for me, said "come on Ann, have a chinese with us" or "just come and have some soup" I politely explained that I would not be going to the restaurant. He went on, please come, I'd really like you to have a meal with us. At that, I said his name, and made deliberate, steady eye contact. Then I said clearly, "(name), I am NOT coming to the Chinese", I held eye contact for a couple of seconds and then went to do something else. He understood after that, and was extremely supportive. You can't be a people pleaser on this diet, you sometimes have to be very selfish, which is strange, but you end up with more self respect, and more respect from others.
As someone once said "when the going gets tough, the tough get going!"
Hope this helps.
Ann xxx
 
I purposely avoid any place where i'd likely be eating. If i am invited, i tell them: Invite me again in 10months and i will definately come. I dont even visit families anymore as tea and buscuits will be brought over and i'd find it hard to resist. Parent or brothers cook my husband dinner (when he is at work), bless them.

Pls say no to people. Your whole may depend on it.
 
My CDC in my area is p!ssing me off too because I have left 2 messages already and a futher one for CDC in a slightly different area but they havent bothered to get back to me. I actually feel a little rejected by that fact. The lighterlife counseller has got back to me but I really cant afford lighter life. I wish I could because I would just be like POT to you and go on it. Im starting to get cranky now because I know that I havent got to start the VLCD thing at the peak of my motivation. Maybe Im just a lost cause!!
 
No, darling - you are not a lost cause - nobody is!!

Badger those cdcs into getting back to you! Keep calling until you get hold of them - don't give in! I'm sure they're just busy and trying to juggle their own lives - it's nothing personal!

On the subject of eating to please people - I had to be really really strong with my mum last Xmas as she made my life hell about not eating xmas dinner (Which she made ME cook!!!) but once she saw how much weight I'd lost, she started the diet herself and is now 4 stone lighter!!

Once you get strong with people and refuse to allow them to dictate what goes into your mouth, you'll soon find that they'll want to join you!

love
 
Isobel it would be good if they would join me because they are every bit as overweight as I am!! I will keep calling the CDC and see what happens. Part of me is just saying to me that she is gonna be making money from what I buy and so she should treat me better! But Im probably just getting on my high horse.
 
Well I can understand your frustration, hun - really I can. Altho sometimes I can't get back in touch with people when they leave a message on my ansaphone cos I can't make out their telephone number or do 1471 or a whole variety of calamities - so keep trying! I'm sure she doesn't mean to be elusive!
 
happygal said:
My CDC in my area is p!ssing me off too because I have left 2 messages already and a futher one for CDC in a slightly different area but they havent bothered to get back to me.
Click to expand...

I have to say that you need to remember most CDCs do it as a part time job - I often get people who call during the day and get upset when I don't call back til later. I have to remind them that I work in the mornings, and afternoons/evenings is my 'free counsellor' time.

Also, don't forget a lot of people are on holiday at the moment. Don't give up hope honey - you aren't a lost cause, and you can use this time to build up your resolve.
 
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