Grrr Kids :-(

[soon2bslimmer77]

I know I may sound like a moaning old moo but the are little gits I have 2 boys 13 and 16 in october they do noting around the house to help I work full time and all the do is argue and want money all the time never say hello when I come home juts whats for dinner they even step over the post and don't bother picking it up I really think I am at my wits end :-( just want to scream and shout at them and cry lol

 

[mrstaylor]

Scream and shout and cry at them. It might make them take notice ( for a little bit ). Deep breath... And on we go!

 

[OUFC]

Sorry but if they've got away with this behaviour so far so, it can't be too surprising. I'd put a stop to it by sitting them down, calmly & politely telling them their fortune & educating them that they shouldn't expect something for nothing in this life. If they don't pull their fingers out & help you, then no pocket money. Bless him, my 6yr old grandson loves doing jobs around for his mum so he can collect some pocket money - he even picks up after his younger sisters!
Cleaning up, preparing food - even cooking for you once or twice a week would help them in the future and take a bit of strain off you. For goodness sake, surely they can both get a small job (even if it's just a paper round). If you stop their funds, that'd be their only option.

 

[donna88]

You need to sit them down and talk to them or just have a massive go at them and start getting them to do more to help around the house, like others have suggested maybe stop their funds if they don't start doing something.

I'm trying to get my son to do bits already, luckily he thinks its fun at the moment and enjoys helping, we make him tidy his room (which he isn't such a fan of, but he gets it done otherwise he doesn't get other nice things) and he also sets the table for us, he's 4 in July

 

[Beegee]

Goodness, I'm dreading mine being teenagers, it must be tough. However, I do agree with the majority, lay down the law - jobs around the house for cash is the way to go I reckon.

 

[Shirleen]

Well hunny the fact is, unless your title is HRH then your boys are going to need some life skills like, cooking,cleaning, shopping etc.
I would agree with previous poster, no work... No money, then if that had no effect, no work no Internet etc until they learn!

Give then DEFINITE jobs with a Prescribed TIME to do it. Or they will leave it until you give up!

So for example youngest one gets in from school picks up and sorts the mail. Oldest one takes in the washing. Or whatever.

Give them a few easy dishes to cook that they can shop for and cook, for example Pizzas, mine likes to make Cheesy Bacon Pasta, Dort liked to cook curry. They can each cook once a week, when you cook one washes the other dries and swaps other nights.

Saturday mornings the whole family spends ONE hour doing housework. Then have a lovely lunch/ treat and pocket money x

 

[Going2be*fab*at40]

This so rings a bell with me.
I have two boys (15 and 13) and despite many, many discussions and removal of the xbox, I have little support unless I have a complete rant.
They do not have pocket money (I pay for their contract mobiles), but this appears to be invisible.

The biggest part of the challenge is that they are growing away from us so quickly, that it is difficult to find something to get their attention.
A very wise friend has suggested the following:

1) they now have to do their own ironing
2) I am ignoring the state of their room..unless they want friends round
3) accept that this is a stage and that teenage boys are starting to exercise their assertiveness
This doesn't mean doing everything for them, but I find that ignoring the bad/careless behaviour and going 'quiet' when they need me, is most effective on my sanity and also on them.
(mind you, I was expressing similar groans to you on here last week!)

At the end of the day they are generally incredibly well behaved, they just don't give the care that I would like at home.

Hope this helps. Remember that in a few years you will have every opportunity for revenge! Such as, teach the grandchildren bad habits, leave a mess in their homes....I will leave you to your imagination!!!!

 

[soon2bslimmer77]

That sounds just like my boys hun they are very polite out the house my 15 yo's gf's mum dont understand as he is an angel round there grrr even baked her cupcakes on mothers day i got noting :-(

 

[Going2be*fab*at40]

That sounds just like my boys hun they are very polite out the house my 15 yo's gf's mum dont understand as he is an angel round there grrr even baked her cupcakes on mothers day i got noting :-(

Haha! Everyone tells me how great, polite and helpful they are! And just like you...I get nothing. Oh the joys!
But, at least, we must have done something right!

 

[*Emsie*]

I'd say sit them down and tell them how you see it, decide what you want them to do maybe just start with small stuff first to be built up on. Keep what you have to say to the point otherwise they will completely switch off and tell them if they don't start doing what is expected of them then you will stop doing what you do for them. Put it in a written rota if that will help them remember and you not to have to keep reminding and then if they don't do it then you go on strike ...stop cooking for them/doing their washing etc for a bit it may sound extreme but its surprising how they soon notice when they haven't got that t-shirt clean that they wanted to wear to such and such.
I know its easy to say to do and mine drive me mad at times too and don't do enough but they all do something which is a start so Good Luck x
Also as frustrating as it can be that they don't treat you as they should and are great to others it probably means you have done such a great job of mothering that they take you for granted(double edged sword!) but as others say time to prepare them for other stages now.
Plus as a mother who often gets calls because her child is not so polite/helpful elsewhere at times I'd say enjoy the fact that they are though know what its like the other way round too! As you say....grrrr kids!

 

[Cazran25]

I think a rota is the way forward - my mum works shifts and before I moved out we had a rota for me and my 2 brothers - there was no arguing over who would do what as it was there in black and white and very fair. We didn't have to do loads but it was enough to earn our keep as it were. My OH didn't have to lift a finger at home and as a result he is a total nightmare to live with as he had no idea about anything!

So for your sake and the sake of your son's future partners, get them cleaning!! Lol

 

[Alexie]

I can only echo what others have said hun. Try and calmly explain to them how you feel and try and get them to take notice by using the "no work, no money" rule. A little bit of tough love never harmed anyone xxxxxx Chin up and try not to let it get you down too much xxxx

 

[AnnaFaraday]

They want money - say no, there isn't any.
They want dinner - only under certain circumstances (set the rules - politeness, help, whatever).
If you come home and they don't say hello - then you don't say hello. Go and sit down, read a book, don't talk to them.

When they ask why, then you can explain and tell them that things WILL be different.