Help Ladies... motivation has disappeared!

[sammy46]

Hi ladies,

After some of the wonderful comments i had on my diary entry a couple of months back... i could really use some help and advice :cry:...Here is an e-mail that i have just sent to my counsellor!

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I just wanted a little vent really, so figured that you were the best person to do it to. Sorry if this doesn't make sense or if it sounds like i am all over the place but i just can't get my thought process right. I so want to continue as i still have a quite a way to go and i know that i can acheive it given how far i have come to date...but my head does one thing and my heart another!

I am really struggling to stop eating...i ate all weekend last weekend and when i was away for work monday and tuesday. I then got back on the diet, but because i wasn't in ketosis again as soon as i hoped and then because i knew i couldn't get to my weigh in on Friday, i ate again. With all the stress with Josh being unwell and the surgery, i am finding that i am eating out of worry and boredom i.e. going back to my bad habits.

What annoys me more is that i didn't even give myself a day off on xmas day and now i feel like giving myself a day off all the time...for nothing special.

I just can't seem to stop myself. I have just eaten again and feel incredibly guilty for doing so as i have done all week. I can't even remember what it tasted like to be honest.

I tried to write down the questions and the answers as they were going through my mind such as:


What can i do to stop eating?

• Stop thinking about food
• Do something else to take my mind off it like read, study, walk or train the dog

Where/Why has my motivation gone?

• Because i have been poorly quite regularly
• Food makes me feel better (even though i have to admit that most of the time i feel bloated, lethargic and guilty after, so i guess it doesn't make me feel better at all!)

Why do I keep eating?

• Bordem
• Stress/worry
• Because i know that i'm not in ketosis
• I've gotten back the taste for food

My motivation and commitment to the plan were so strong at the beginning...I didn't stray and i actually enjoyed the shakes/bars and soups and food (or lack of) didn't bother me. I could even cook for Josh and simply wash my hands, not taste the food and it honestly wasn't a problem. After some of the stories i have heard, i think i coped wonderfully with the diet, emotionally... I so desperately want that feeling back. I also want the feeling back when i didn't even think about food, but i think what scares me is the fact that i have to start from the beginning.

I know you can't bottle the motivation i need and give it to me on Monday... i just wanted to talk to someone who understands as i feel so much like i am letting everyone down around me. This was the first time that i felt like losing weight for me and me only, so i can't understand why all of a sudden it is so important to me that i feel like i'm letting others down... i think it's a bit of denial really as i know deep down that it's myself who it being let down. I feel like i am failing and i don't want to fail, especially when as you know i am bleeding us dry financially to get to my goal.

Anyway, sorry to take up your time, i almost hope that i have put on weight for Monday so it will give me a short sharp shock a kick me up the bum!!!

Look forward to seeing you Monday

Sam
x

 

[great things]

you are in the same boat as many others out there. it's nothing to beat yourself up about but you need to really remind yourself why you chose this diet, what you want from it, how you are going to get there.

i'm struggling and have been since xmas. i took time out to enjoy xmas. i am at a normal weight etc and have just about reached breaking point.

i always find my cdc is the person to stress, talk, cry, worry to and the answers are always there.

i would make a list, take a fresh look, make a fresh start.

 

[sammy46]

Thank you

Thanks Great Things... Your comment has really helped me evaluate what i still need to acheive and more importantly not to beat myself up too much

I found myself in a position last night where i was very poorly and had to wait until this morning for my prescription! Gave me a lot of time to think as i couldn't sleep unt!

I have to keep realising that i have lost just over 5 stone in 3 short months! That's a hell of an acheivement already. My first bad day was boxing day, where i managed half a turkey sandwich and a couple of sausage rolls. I then continued to eat and was taken to hospital early hours of New years day with abdominal pains. I then had my xmas weigh in and i had only put on 2lbs.... then i got straight back on the diet, and lost 7 and a half pounds week ending 14/01. That's when i fell!

My counsellor was fantastic last night, she replied shortly after midnight which i thought was really touching. She mentioned that its a possibility that i am grieving for my former self...which sounds odd but rings so many bells for me, as i have been very reluctant to buy new clothes, insisting that i will wear my old clothes even though they are dropping off! I keep forgetting that my larger self is who have been for the past 8 years through some of the most significant parts of my life!

Back on the wagon tomorrow!!!!

xx

 

[sammy46]

Well guys,

It's been a while since i was on here concerned about my lack of motivation set off by a series of health issues. It turns out that those health issues are otherwise known as Gall Stones! I am waiting to have surgery to have my gall bladder removed, therefore stopped the plan for a little while. I was given the wonderful news last week that my surgery waiting list is about 4 - 6 months long...unbelievable eh!!

After spending some time in hospital with various attacks, one of the stones actually moved and was blocking my ducts apparently, i realised how much i missed the plan. My doctors instructions are basically to follow a very low fat or preferably no fat diet, which is hard when there is no structure around it. It hit me that the plan is going to be the best thing for me to help me acheive that, whilst also losing the weight i need to lose and getting me ready for my surgery!

I can't get used to feeling sluggish, lethargic and having low concentrations levels when eating 'normally' when i always felt like a million quid when i was on Cambridge Sole Source! Bizzarre isn't it how the human body and mind works!

Rather than put my life on hold and have to rush to get back on the plan after surgery to fit into my wedding dress next May, lets just get on with what life throws at me and try to do my best! Looks like i found my motivation again! Woop Woop!!

Looking forward to getting started this week!! Hope everyone is doing really well too... would like to hear from anyone that has also discovered gall stones on their Cambridge journey as well, because i'm sure people think i'm exaggerating when i talk about the pain during one of those attacks!!!

xxx

 

[flab fighter]

I have suffered from gall stones also after starting slimming world a few years ago. It's funny they say a low fat diet is part of the treatment to alleviate symptoms but it can also start the symptoms. I was very unwell after a few flare ups of pain finally got a ultrasound scan to confirm gall stones.Went on a waiting list for surgery. As I was nursing in intensive care at the time spoke to my surgeons registrar and he said every time you get a flare up go to Dr or present to A & E otherwise there is no documentation of an attack. Lucky he said this as the next attack the stones had blocked my bile duct and I had obstructive jaundice which is very serious :sick:. My surgery was brought forward once my liver recovered and it is a good job that I had lost weight as he did a laproscopic procedure rather than cut me open. I never felt better after the surgery and was out the next day. My sympathies are with you regarding the pain. Stick with the diet and it will only benefit you when your surgery is due.