Hi! Newby here considering LL. I'm scared!!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Blonde Logic, 28 November 2007 Social URL.

  1. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Hi :)

    I tried this earlier but my post never showed up?

    Anyway, I am new to this site, and have not yet begun the LL program. I learned of LL when I saw someone I hadn;t seen for a couple of months and half of them was missing! :eek:

    I must admit, LL both scares and exhilerhates me. The idea of giving up food for months is very daunting. I have about 7 stone to lose and I am really torn about whether I can do it or not. I have decided to start in January after the hols which will give me time to get my head around it.

    I have struggled with weight issues my entire life. I am 47 now. I spent all of my younger years on the sidelines believing I was a fat cow. As I look back on photos, I was not. I was perfectly normal. It breaks my heart when I think of all I missed out on. I attribute my low self image to the teasing I endured by my brothers and their friends. I believed them. :cry::rolleyes:

    Then as an adult, in a troubled marraige my ex-husband told me he would be nice to me once I lost weight. :(:mad: I was 5'7" and only weighed 140. I was so hurt and angry, I then piled on the weight. I think I wanted to keep him away from me, I felt so betrayed.

    So from about 26 yrs, I began using food as comfort, as a barrier and as a weapon, as all the wrong things. I hate what I have become. The old me is inside screaming to get out, but over the years, and as more and more weight goes on, she gets harder and harder to hear. :sigh: I feel as if I am committing a slow suicide.:break_diet:

    So - now, learning about LL, for the first time in so long, I have hope. :) But am scared to death. I do not want to face another failure. I want to look in the mirror and love myself. So this is a scary journey I will be beginning in 2008.

    But I so desperately do not want to spend the second half of my life on the sidelines. So here I am.

    I am hoping LL addresses what goes on inside the head as much,if not more, then what goes on in the mouth as I know that is where the real problem lies.:sigh:

    Oh I do go on, don't I. :eek:

    Anyway - hello - I am here - and I hope to get to know some of you and learn by your successes (and even failures) and hope I can once, acheive the dream that is the very first thought when I open my eyes in the morning, and the last thought before drifting off to sleep - and that is to be thin. And to once again love myself.

    Thanks. :eek:
     
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  3. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    blonde logic, you have introduced yourself well. Welcome to the forum (and thanks for your post re my photos).

    I was a little daunted at the thought of being able to stick to it as well but the desire to lose weight overcame everything and you couldn't hold me back from starting once I made my mind up. It is like someone has waved a magic wand and I can be thin after always thinking it was beyond my reach. I used to joke that I believed in reincarnation because I couldn't believe that I would never experience life as a thinny. It just seemed too unfair. Well, LL is like a reincarnation for me. I am so excited (still) that I can have this. It is the best present I could ever EVER be given.

    I can really relate to your comment about always thinking you were fat and then realising later you weren't ... I was like that through my teens and early twenties. Isn't it bizarre. And then it is almost as though we created what we thought was our reality. Don't know yet where that view of myself came from. But LL is helpful not just in terms of the group work but just by taking away the food you learn more about when you use it as a crutch and you learn that you really don't need it (of course I knew that before I started but it is a different knowing now). You learn you can cope without it. I still need to conquor my love of food and how to stop eating rather than eating and eating something just because it tastes nice. But I'm getting there. I also still need to learn what is going on when I get the urge to be sneaky with food. But again, I am getting there.

    I can hand on heart say that these 12 weeks have FLOWN by. Initially I was daunted and wondered if I really could do 100 days (and some as I always new I'd have to do development as well). But by focusing one day at a time and telling myself i was doing it, I did it. Each day got easier and each week got easier. Yes there was a bit of a struggle around week 7 but just knowing that others have been through the same thing about that time helped me to keep going. And I was so determined to achieve my goals. Plus the weight has been coming off so quickly and I'm racing down through the clothes sizes. It is so motivating and a bit of a head spin.

    I can hear and feel what you are writing and I know you will be ready to do this by January - especially if you come on here regularly and share other's journeys.

    I've rambled enough.
     
  4. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Thank you Dancing. What you said about reincarnation, and living a life as a thinny, I can so relate to that! Whenever I see a little thin thing, I just look with wonder, and wonder what it must be like. I wish I could remember. Course as we said, I didn't appreciate it then. But just once, to sit down, and not have my belly on my lap - I would be so happy I would do the Snoopy dance!! :D

    When I saw my friend that I mentioned, I came home that night and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror coming downstairs. I looked myself in the eye, cried, and said, "What do you want more? 6 months (or so) of Food, or to be thin." It was a no brainer. But it still seems almost surreal to me. :wave_cry:

    My initial concern was - easy off, easy to put back on. Thought it's maybe not easy - maybe fast is a better word for it. But then, the way I am looking at it - if I am successful, and get the weight off as quickly as you all have done - I would look at that as a gift. And I would hope I would cherish that, adn treat it with care as I would a gift. But that scares me. I have always put back on.

    That is why feel I need to address the demons in my head. To want something so so desperately, and then to partially acheive it several times only to fall back into the same mess or worse - well, I just can't take it anymore. I just cannot keep doing that. I really feel it is all or nothing time for me. If I do not change it now, or soon, and for good - the rest of my life will be a painful burden, and I don't want that.

    So - yes, I need to take these next several weeks and really work on mentally committing myself.
    I think if I get in the right mind set, I stand a good chance. I hope. 6 months of no food seems far more attainable the 2 years of counting calories and exercising. I can suffer for 6 months, but never 2 years. Just throwing out random numbers here, but you get my drift, yeah? :)

    I don't really trust myself anymore, for I have had so many failures. But simply put - its do or die.

    THanks so much and I will be around soaking up as much information as I can. Should have named myself Sponge. lol

    Cheers!!:)
     
  5. minilady

    minilady Gold Member

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    Hi Blonde Logic:):):)

    I'd just like to say that I've found your post wonderfully honest and touching. I am so willing you on to succeed, which I'm sure you will do:):):)

    My life's experiences have been a little similar to your own, I reached the age of 40 and thought I don't want to die fat, I have wanted to be slim all my life, I can remember looking at my friends in primary school and wishing I could have lovely spindally legs and a flat tummy (my nickname at school was Weeble which says it all really:rolleyes:)

    I followed a very low calorie diet which meant I abstained from food, I found it wonderful:D I've yoyo'd all my life and followed so many different diets, this was the first VLCD I'd tried and for me it worked, I loved the lack of choice, no weighing or calorie counting, it's wonderful. First week was difficult, but once your body is in ketosis and your body is burning fat the hunger starts to subside and in the end you honestly don't miss conventional food.

    As for the head stuff, I dieted, then once I started approaching goal weight I then had to work on the reasons I was overweight in the first place, I so desperately didn't want to put the weight back on that I had worked so hard to get off. I am an emotional eater, I secretly binge and so have had to deal with the whys and wherefores and how to stop myself. It's been difficult, I feel more in control now, but even so I still have the occasional binge. In my head I am still an overweight person and at first this worried me, I didn't want to feel I would be dieting for the rest of my life to maintain my weight. I've been at goal for nearly 6 months now and things are getting easier, binges are fewer and far between and if they do happen I don't beat myself up, I think about what I've done and how I've made myself feel emotionally and physically and slowly this is re-enforcing healthier eating and a better mental attitude. I feel better when I eat healthily, happier, comfortable and physically energised. When I binge I feel bloated, sluggish and guilty. For over 30 years I had used food as a comfort so I know it'll take time to stop this habit, but I believe we all can.

    Sorry I've wittered on a bit:eek:

    Wishing you every success for your start in the New Year.

    Tracey
    xxx
     
  6. LizLL

    LizLL Member

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    Hi Blonde Logic,
    I have just read your post and it felt as though I was reading my own life story ! I have also decided to join LL in January for the same reason as you too. Perhaps we could keep in touch through our LL journey ? There are so many inspirational stories in this thread, aren't there ? Wow!
    Anyway make sure you take lots of photos at Christmas! You won't recognise yourself next year !
    Bye for now, Liz x (I have about 9 stone to lose.)
     
  7. joh117

    joh117 Full Member

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    Hi Blond Logic

    I was at the same point as you 1 year ago. I am in my early 30's but have generally been overweight since I was 15/16yrs old.

    LL was the best thing to happen to me. I have lost just short of 6st in 5 months. I have maintained for nearly 6 months. I have had a few trauma's a family suicide to deal with and I did gain a little. I am back on the packs for a month to shift this gain that I am not happy with but at least I nipped it in the bud early. I havent had to go up a clothes size as that was my rule I will never go out and buy larger clothes when the current ones get too tight.

    I know my triggers and I now know which foods to avoid and which dont make me feel very good. I dont like the feeling of bloatedness after eating bread now so I tend to avoid this.

    Embrace LL as you only get out what you put in. You will be able to make it on the packs alone and my only advice is dont stray follow the rules and you will get to your goal far quicker than if you mess about.

    The 100 days seems like a long journey at the beginning but it does fly by and before you know it you are in developers.

    I wish you well on your journey and look forward to seeing your before and after photos.

    Jo
     
  8. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Thank you everyone. This seems like such a supportive site, I am really glad to have been pointed in this direction.

    I know, if I put my mind to it, I can do it without straying. But I haven;t had to put my mind to anything this drastic in a long time. Its going to be an exercise in discipline, that is for sure.

    Well LizLL, looks like you and I are diving in at the same time. It will be great to know there is another novice out there with me - we can gain a lot of tips from the experts here I reckon. It's just amazing to me how much and how fast people have lost.

    It is a real inspiration. I just hope hope HOPE I can be one of the success stories.

    Losing weight is the hardest thing I have ever done.

    This year, I did the second hardest thing I have ever done. I learned to ride a motorbike and bought myself a Harley - something I dreamed of since I was 20. A little late - but hey - I got there. It was very hard work, and tested my limits to the max - and I did it. I figure if I can do that, I can do this, as long as I sink my heart and soul into it.

    Now that I have my bike, I want to look GOOD on it!!! So I will dive in, 110%. (I hope - the little voice on my shoulder still has doubts. I must learn to silence that little devil. :) )
     
  9. Summerskye

    Summerskye Gold Member

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    Hi there!

    Welcome to Minimins and congratulations on making the decision to join the LL program. Often even making that decision encourages you to feel more positive about yourself and the prospects for a 'new you' begin to emerge.

    Almost 2 years today (New Years Eve 2005 to be exact) I vowed to myself that 2006 was going to be my 'Year of Change' leading up to my 50th birthday in January 2007. Part of that process was going to be losing weight as I was grossly overweight, and had been for many years. I weighed over 18 1/2 stone and wearing size 24 clothes at that time.

    I'd heard about both the LL and Cambridge Diet program and, after doing a lot of research, realised they were both highly effective programs - albeit scary ones as the idea of giving up food was incredibly daunting! I personally opted for CD for a number of reasons but I know I would have had just as much success following the LL program too.

    To cut a long story short, I started CD at the end of February 2006 weighing in at a whopping 18 st 11 lbs (I'm 5'6" so my BMI was 42). By mid-December last year I'd reached my target weight of 10 st 6 lbs and was wearing size 10/12 clothes. It really seemed like a miracle and a dream come true! :)

    One year later, my weight is exactly the same and I now work as a CD counsellor myself so it truly was a Year of Change in more ways than one! You'll see from all the many success stories on here that you really CAN achieve your goal - and this time next year (or even sooner!) you'll be whizzing about on that Harley looking foxy in your leathers :cool:

    Good luck and keep posting!
     
  10. Tiger Girl

    Tiger Girl Full Member

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    Hi Blonde Logic and welcome :D

    By the sounds of your posts you are totally ready to get started! You will learn very quickly that the true challenges are those of the mental kind, the practical side is a doddle. And you definitely sound like you've dug deep and know what you want to get from following a VLCD.

    There are some incredible Mini's around, and all on different stages of their journey to life long slimdom.

    I'm tempted to ask what's stopping you from starting right now as you sound so ready for it! But I guess there's something about starting in the New Year that is very appealing for many (I was a Feb 07 starter myself). But everyone here is very focused on the Christmas challenge, so if you do want to start earlier you'll get plenty of support on here :D

    TG :)
     
  11. Alibongo

    Alibongo Happily pro pointing!

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    This is what I used to say, on weight watchers, Atkins, weight watchers again, etc, etc, etc.
    I have to say that losing weight doing LL is the easiest 'diet' I have ever done, and even after only 4 weeks the counselling really does help and so does this site.

    I am confident that anybody in the right frame of mind, as you appear to be, can do it.
    It can be tricky at times, but with the right support anything is possible.
     
  12. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Thank you SUmmerskye! I read your stats - they are nearly exactly the same as mine, and seeing your Avatar photo has given me a boost!! You look fantastic!!

    I turn 50 in April 2010 - and that is a big issue for me too - If I am this size when I hit 50, I probably won't see 60, so I need to take this very seriously.

    Thanks for your kind words, and you lot will be seeing a lot of 'round this old forum! Yes indeed. In for the long haul!!! :)
     
  13. Summerskye

    Summerskye Gold Member

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    My pleasure! It's still a boost for me to think that I might be able to inspire anyone to achieve the same results I've had - but if I can, then I'm absolutely delighted :D

    Before I started I also posted on an internet forum very much like this (before Minimins was 'born') and it was the Before and After photos which inspired me to start my own diet. I figured that if other people could do it, then so could I! And you can do it too :)
     
  14. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Hi Tiger

    No worries in asking me anything. :)

    I am waiting until after the holidays as I just do not feel ready to make the plunge. ITs not that I want to stuff myself one last time at XMAS or anything like that. It's because I am frightened - it's like cutting an umbilical chord, and I sound ready on text, but my head is still trying to really soak in that it is OK to give up food - temporarily - I just need to be free of any distractions, knowing myself all too well, so I have decided to wait.

    It is not a resolution - that to me is a sure sign of failure!!! Its just how the timing has happened.

    THanks! :)
     
  15. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Thanks Alibongo! APprecaite your kind words. I can see the support on this forum is amazing. ANd it will be so nice to have a place where you can laugh, cry, kick, scream - whatever!! I am looking forward to watching my success, along with everyone elses.

    You ALL are quite an inspiration. You truly are!!

    Thanks!
     
  16. Alibongo

    Alibongo Happily pro pointing!

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    Not sure about all of them, but my LLC is not starting any more groups until the New Year, ours was her last one.

    So it might be difficult to find any this side of Christmas now.
     
  17. Deb G

    Deb G Silver Member

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    Do it.....its fabulous! I feel like a new woman!!!
     
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  19. Zomble

    Zomble Full Member

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    Hello Blonde Logic, and welcome! You really do sound ready to start LL. I'm fortunate not to have had your experiences (though it sounds as if lots of other people have) but I have about 7 stone to lose, like you, and I'm 50, so don't think everyone here is a young thing!

    I can honestly say that LL is the easiest and fastest weightloss programme I've ever encountered, and so I've been able to stick to it 100%, although I've failed at so many other attempts in the past. It all depends on your attitude. If you think, 'this is great, I'm going to lose weight and gain control', you will. If, on the other hand, you think, 'poor me, no food for months..' it will seem hard and you will feel deprived. But I also think you're wise to wait until you feel everything is right for you to start. No point in setting yourself up for failure.

    LL has done exactly what it promised for me: a stone a month, no hunger, no weakness. I really hope it can do the same for you. It's the best present you could give yourself (though admittedly, nobody's ever given me a Harley Davidson!)
     
  20. Linze01

    Linze01 Full Member

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    Hi BL! I started LL 11 weeks ago and have just lost my 3 stone. You're right that it's not the easiest diet but I can honestly say that it is the best thing I've ever done. I went for the information session in June and started in September because that was the right thing for me as I needed time to get my head around this crazy thing I was about to embark on and I also had a summer holiday to go on and didn't feel it would be right or easy to do the diet over that particular two weeks. Keep coming on to minis as it really gives you something to take your mind off things when you need a distraction. Best wishes!
    Linze
     
  21. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    AWw, thank you Zomble. I appreciate you ecouragement. I highlighted above the precise reason I am waiting till January. If we were in April now, I would be waiting for May - I just need to get to the point where the automatic respone is not 'poor me', etc. I am nearly there as I am really recognising that giving up food for some months is SO worth it, if I can once and for all get rid of the weight. I've said before, to do it so quikcly is a gift. I do not want to fail. Want to be fully psyched and able to give it 110% withuot much thought - I just want to be more then ready.

    Well done on your progress!! COntinued good luck! :)
     
  22. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Thank you Linze for the encouragement!! ANd well done on your success. I will definately be hanging around here, that's for sure. I imagine a lot of people out there will just not understand the diet, so will be good to have some like minded friends to talk about it with. :)
     
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