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Hidden poet wouldn't you know it!

#1
Hello everyone:D

Ok so I'm a closet poet:eek: just thought I would post some poems for a bit of feedback:p

Anger and Pain

All I ever wanted was to make things right,
It wasn’t my first choice but I thought we’d get by.
Your tone and words weren’t always cruel,
The rows were the fire and your anger the fuel

After that first time I blamed myself,
I didn’t want to accept you needed help.
My tears at night would often flow,
The pain you caused I couldn’t show.

After you’d gone I cried and cried,
Angry at myself for how I’d tried.

You didn’t succeed to kill my soul,
Infact when you left I became whole.
The pain and anger that you brought,
Will never in this family again be sought.

Let me know what you think;)

Love to all

Zoe x
 
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#2
Here is another:D

These two may make me look a right lil saddo but I actually felt they helped me heal writing them:D

PS Anger & Pain took me all of 6 minutes to write...nimble fingers or what hehehe:eek:

Four Years Since that Painful Day

It’s been four years since that painful day,
When the angels took your hands and lead you away.
We all stood by your hospital bed,
Praying and hoping no tears could we shed.

I stood and watched granddad smooth down your hair,
The pain in his eyes I could no longer bare.
He whispered and told you “it’s ok to go”
Our love was united for you we could show.

On your journey you took a part of me away,
But at the same time in my heart you did stay.
I cherish the memories I have of you now,
And pray that I’ll always feel you around somehow.

You were the brightest light in my life that shone,
That light never dulled not even when you were gone.
You had always been the one that I would turn to,
Seems in life there are like you too few.

It may be harsh but I try not to think of you now,
It’s the only way I get by without you somehow.
I pray that you are there looking over me,
Til that welcomed day when together we can be.

I love you Nan.


I know they are very personal but please constructive criticism is welcome lol;)
 
#3
:D Ok a couple of light hearted ones now:D

Animated Love

The animated screen a welcome distraction,
From life’s hard and somewhat unattractive actions.
A world far away, anonymity mine,
I lose myself for hours lose sense of time
I sit there watching as the words blur,
Never did I expect them to make me stir.

Then up came the words from a silly name,
Cheeky and Rude I smiled all the same.
Should I reply entered my mind,
If I did, who and what would I find?
I answered with some witty remark,
The journey of Love I was about to embark


Love to all

Zoe x
 
#4
Next:D

I sat down one day and wanted to write a poem for each of my two children, each poem is very different and according to close friends mirrors my children's personalities:)

I really hope I did capture them they mean the world and more to me:eek:

Aiden’s Poem

I looked in your eyes all I felt was pure pleasure,
Didn’t mind the hard work no more lady of leisure.
You smiled back at me I felt so much love,
The innocence from you was as white as a dove.

I lay there watching as you breathed in your sleep,
From the moment you were born you were mine to keep.
I smoothed down your hair and felt the breath from your nose,
I washed you and dressed you in fancy new clothes.

I couldn’t believe the pure love I had found,
I worshipped and treasured every movement and sound.
I look at you now so tall you have grown.
With a vibrant personality all of your own.

I want you to read this and know how I felt,
The day you were born and made my heart melt.
Thank you for being such a joyful son,
I love and cherish you my son number one.


Megan’s Poem

The day you were born is hard to forget,
It’s the day that my daughter and I finally met.
You’d kicked me and prodded me continuously so,
But now was the time that our bond was to grow.

I looked at you lying there all on your own,
And from that there moment I promised you’d never be alone.
It was later that day that you met with your brother,
Finally we were together looking out for each other.

You look angelic and sweet and easy on the eye,
But all of us know you can be very fly,
You stir and you wind and sometimes cause bother
But I wouldn’t want anyone else to take pride as your mother.

You’re stunning and beautiful and very clever
Our bond will only grow stronger and never will tether
I’m telling you now my not so innocent girl
I love you so much and wouldn’t trade you for the world.
 
#5
I know from experience that some men find it difficult to express how they feel about you:(

This next poem probably signifies the only time I ever felt truely loved by a magical guy:) but because of my weight I let him go:mad:

That Song

Your pain and anger I could see,
But how could I help, I’m only me.
I waffled on just like I do,
My heart and soul crying for you.

The silence came, had you gone?
Yes but only to get that special song.
I listened as the tears ran down my face,
That song ensured my heart for you a place.

I listen to it now and still I smile,
Reminds me of innocent love we had a while.
There is no me without you,
So I’ll just hold back till the chapters you’re through.


I still cry every time I hear the song:eek:
 
#6
Eyes Closed

Eyes closed, lying still
Sleeping not although I will.
Listening for that familiar sound,
The one that makes me jump from the ground.
The knocking of a door then bing,
Is it you? The one who makes my soul sing.

I lie there still a moment more,
Before I jump up to check for sure
It’s you, it is, my smile appears
It lingers round til you disappear.

We chat we smile, we laugh and think,
We open up more after a few more drinks.
I wonder what your eyes would say
Should I see them in the cold and sober day.

Would they tell me what they tell me now?
Or would they lie and pretend they know not how.
You tell me they are a passage to the soul,
So open them up and I will become whole.
 

Geri

Gold Member
#7
Wow Zoe

You truley have the knack of poetry there!

I think they are great - very touching:p the line ' my not innocent girl now' made me laugh, I can just imagine lol

sure you'll get lots more feedback - tis a bit early for most :D

Any more to share with us?
 
#8
You obviously enjoy this way of expressing your feelings and do it well.

Have you perhaps considered going on a creative writing class to develop your skill? You'd learn all sorts of techniques to really show your talent at its best and do things you never thought you would ... for example, I've done Japanese Haiku and poetry in free-verse (not rhyming). I think you'd love it!
 
#10
Poetry

Hi there love these poems - particularly touched by the 2 children ones and the Granny one - got a bit emotional reading them

Well done you
 
#11
Wow Zoe

You truley have the knack of poetry there!

I think they are great - very touching:p the line ' my not innocent girl now' made me laugh, I can just imagine lol

sure you'll get lots more feedback - tis a bit early for most :D

Any more to share with us?
Thank you Geri:D

Lol friends that have read Megan's poem laugh their heads off knowing what she is like....a lil minx hehehehe:)

I couldn't sleep so decided to add them.....both my kids cried when they read theirs and my nans:( but I really do feel they are therapeutic for me:D

I'm sure I'll post more soon if I haven't bored everyone with them ha ha:D
 
#12
You obviously enjoy this way of expressing your feelings and do it well.

Have you perhaps considered going on a creative writing class to develop your skill? You'd learn all sorts of techniques to really show your talent at its best and do things you never thought you would ... for example, I've done Japanese Haiku and poetry in free-verse (not rhyming). I think you'd love it!
Hi Debbie and thanks for your lovely comments:D

I did in fact start a "Creative Writing and Identity" Degree in 2005 but due to ill health had to stop.....at the moment I am setting up my own business :D however I have been given the option to take this year off and return to the course next September which I am hoping I can do:)

I'd originally started doing Psychology & Crime but a close friend sent the head of the lit department some of my poems and they persuaded me to swap courses.

I do a lot of Free Verse but I thought these poems would probably be a little easier to grasp:p

My favourite poet is Seamus Heaney and my favourite poem is his "Death of a Naturalist" because this is the very poem that opened my eyes to real poetry:)
 
#13
Hi there love these poems - particularly touched by the 2 children ones and the Granny one - got a bit emotional reading them

Well done you
Thanks Oli for your kind words:D

Sometimes you just want to share something:)
 
#14
Hi there love these poems - particularly touched by the 2 children ones and the Granny one - got a bit emotional reading them

Well done you

Thank you wannabe(sorry I don't know everyone's names:eek: )for your lovely comments.

Those 3 poems are probably the most special to me:) I always tell my children I love them but I kinda feel this just gives them a bit better insight into what they mean to me:D

As for the poem about my nan I spent 30 minutes writing that one and by the time I had finished the paper was soaking wet from my tears:eek: I can't read it even now without crying:eek:

The first poem "Anger and Pain" took me 6 minutes to write from start to finish and it was probably the best spent 6 minutes I've had as it helped get me over a very traumatic relationship which when ended saw my personality as a shadow of its former self.....after writing this poem I felt like me again...strong and determined:D

The poem also showed me that writing could be my release....I do it purely for me....cheap therapy lol:D
 
#15
Hi Zoe

Brilliant poems, you really do have a knack for it, they're very clever & moving. Your nan one brought a tear to my eye, we've all had to say goodbye to someone dear & it really moved me. But they're all really good.
 
#16
Hi Zoe

Brilliant poems, you really do have a knack for it, they're very clever & moving. Your nan one brought a tear to my eye, we've all had to say goodbye to someone dear & it really moved me. But they're all really good.
Thanks MadamDotty:D

The poem about my nan well its very dear to me and although my children have read it I don't think I would show the rest of my family as it is very raw:(

Every time I read it I'm back there in HDU surrounded by my family saying the Rosary as my nan left this world for what hopefully is a better one.

One day I hope to write a poem about my nan but even now after 5 years its just too painful, She was the only person in this world I could turn to and talk to and I miss her so very much.

I know I said my writing helps me and it really does I'm just not ready to confront that pain and don't know if I ever will be.

Sorry for going on thanks again for your lovely comments x

Love Zoe x
 
#18


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