Diva2B
Striving to be good.....
I cannot say why as I really have no idea.
Having discovered this amazing diet, which i know works like a dream if you follow it properly, so why do i keep picking at food all the time?
At first, it began as a tiny pick here and there - a slice of carrot, a morsel of chicken but then it became more and more. For the last three weeks i have picked and picked and picked until today when i have been unbelievably stupid and reckless. I gave in and had a cream cake when a work colleague was leaving. it hasn't stopped there and i wont taunt anyone by saying what, but i have not stopped since i got home tonight.
I am so delighted by colleagues comments on how my weight loss is going (37lbs to date, so its quite noticeable!) why do i keep self sabotaging?
Has anyone else done this? How do i stop it? i REALLY don't want to do this its almost like I go out of control. I think that there are two people who live inside me one wearing horns and one wearing a halo.
tomorrow is weigh in day. i have wasted £35 this week on shakes that are as good as useless given the amount that i have eaten.
I know that I cannot undo what I have done and I have to put it behind me. I scare myself as I know how easy it is once you are on that slippery slope to keep going until you are in over your head.
I don't want to go there. I don't want to be fat anymore. I was feeling successful so why oh why have i sabotaged my good work? I don't feel good when i have eaten, nor do i particularly enjoy what i have eaten.
Am I alone? does anyone else do anything like this? Has anyone else got back on the wagon and succeeded??
I like the shakes, i like the removal of choice, I LOVE the feeling of rapid weight loss and for once I began to feel good about myself.
I would really love to hear from anyone who has done this sort of weird thing and if anyone knows why i am acting in this bizarre way which is making me feel crap about myself. I am the only one getting 'hurt' here so why am I inflicting this unnecessary pain on myself??
I'm really not looking for sympathy - i have been stupid and I don't deserve kindness. I just wish that I knew why I am being so darn foolish.
I don't feel guilty, i had a choice and i took it. yet really it wasn't what I wanted to 'choose to do'.
confused and befuddled
Michelle x
p.s. thank you in advance for your comments and advice. Mikki xx
Having discovered this amazing diet, which i know works like a dream if you follow it properly, so why do i keep picking at food all the time?
At first, it began as a tiny pick here and there - a slice of carrot, a morsel of chicken but then it became more and more. For the last three weeks i have picked and picked and picked until today when i have been unbelievably stupid and reckless. I gave in and had a cream cake when a work colleague was leaving. it hasn't stopped there and i wont taunt anyone by saying what, but i have not stopped since i got home tonight.
I am so delighted by colleagues comments on how my weight loss is going (37lbs to date, so its quite noticeable!) why do i keep self sabotaging?
Has anyone else done this? How do i stop it? i REALLY don't want to do this its almost like I go out of control. I think that there are two people who live inside me one wearing horns and one wearing a halo.
tomorrow is weigh in day. i have wasted £35 this week on shakes that are as good as useless given the amount that i have eaten.
I know that I cannot undo what I have done and I have to put it behind me. I scare myself as I know how easy it is once you are on that slippery slope to keep going until you are in over your head.
I don't want to go there. I don't want to be fat anymore. I was feeling successful so why oh why have i sabotaged my good work? I don't feel good when i have eaten, nor do i particularly enjoy what i have eaten.
Am I alone? does anyone else do anything like this? Has anyone else got back on the wagon and succeeded??
I like the shakes, i like the removal of choice, I LOVE the feeling of rapid weight loss and for once I began to feel good about myself.
I would really love to hear from anyone who has done this sort of weird thing and if anyone knows why i am acting in this bizarre way which is making me feel crap about myself. I am the only one getting 'hurt' here so why am I inflicting this unnecessary pain on myself??
I'm really not looking for sympathy - i have been stupid and I don't deserve kindness. I just wish that I knew why I am being so darn foolish.
I don't feel guilty, i had a choice and i took it. yet really it wasn't what I wanted to 'choose to do'.
confused and befuddled
Michelle x
p.s. thank you in advance for your comments and advice. Mikki xx