How do you discuss others eating issues?

[SammyE]

Now Im no skinny little thing, Im over weight and I know it but my older sister, lost 8 stone with weight watchers about 6 years ago, she kept it off for three years, she met a man and got married nearly 3 years ago... since the wedding she has ballooned, I was comparing a picture of her before she went on her diet and now and she looks bigger now then she did before, so Im guessing she has gained at least 8 - 9 stone, probably more in 3 years.

And her eating isnt cutting down, last time I ate with her, I was open mouthed at how greedy she had become, it was pasta so I had asked for a small bowl... and my mum took half back off my plate, my sister told my mum to stick it on her plate... I was full on finishing mine, she ate her own and the extra my mum took from mine... there was garlic bread on the table, I had been good and not taken any... there was two bits per person, my sister ate 6 peices... then had afters.

Im really concerned about her, it seems such a shame for her to have lost so much weight, she was a size 10 at the end of her diet, Im a size 18 and she doesnt fit into my clothes now so she must be a 22plus as i can get into clothes a size too small with oh so attractive over hang but she couldnt even get my jeans done up and she is smaller frame then me, Ive always been stocky, wider shoulders and 3 inches taller, longer limbs etc.

My sister is very emotional, crys at the drop of a hat, has always been the same, if I say anything it will be taken as me being nasty but Im really worried that her weight gain is so rapid and normally people would see how much food there is and if there is say 8 things and 4 people, you would take 2 but she just seemed to be eating as quick as possible so she could get more before everyone took their share.

I dont want to turn around and say "your fat, stop eating" but im just worried how much weight she will gain in the next few years if she doesnt do anything about it.

 

[devotchka]

I think it depends on the relationship you have with your sister. If it's very good, you should be able to talk to her about it, without her being incredibly upset. And also, she must be in the right headspace and want to do it herself before anything magic is going to happen.

With me, my nana literally sat me down and said "Jade, I'm worried about your weight. You've put on a lot in the past year and I am anxious it's going to affect your health". My nana is like my Mother, so when she mentioned it, I knew she was genuinely concerned. I would say go about iit this way with your sister.

Also, avoid words like 'fat' and 'over weight', and just say you're worried about her, Explain how your diet plan is working fantastically for you, and how you think it might help her. Just be super sensitive and go about it in a way that if you were her, you'd like to be talked to about it that way.

Good luck and hope this helps xx

 

[SammyE]

Thank you

Yeah, we dont have the most amazing of relationships. I dont want to upset her but that kind of weight gain in such a short time is really alarming....

 

[bobl15mps]

here comes my 2 cents
i think apart from her weight, her mentality is a bigger problem. if what you're saying is true, then she is pretty immature, maybe ur family treat her like a princess when she was small? Anyway, I think the best thing you can do right now is to find someone she trust and love the most, could be a friend, could be your parents, could even be you(doesn't seem likely though) to talk to her about her issues. Just go ahead and tell whoever that person is that you are real concern and hope he/she can do you a favor, and talk to your sister about it.

I hope everything goes fine with u and your sister, and it is so nice of you for caring so much!

 

[bobl15mps]

PS: there is also a lame method, which is pretty easy
ask your mom or her friend to send your sister this link
this might be less direct, but make sure u delete this post if u plan to do that lol

 

[Rigby]

Is there something positive that you could suggest doing together? Swimming, play badminton, do an exercise class, etc. If she sees how positive you are being about your own weight loss then potentially she might get back into that sort of frame of mind herself. That might be something you could bring up in conversation without it seeming like a dig at her, but might mean that you could support each other a bit.

 

[SammyE]

Thanks for the replies, I think I might just wait until my weight loss starts to become more noticable, then just start talking about the diet and what not, without saying "you should do it" hopefully that might urge her to start.

 

[FatSlinger]

If one of my friends or family members is overweight to a point that I'm worried. I tell them. I'm usually known as one of the 'nicest people ever' but I can be blunt when people need a good talking too. I remember I had one friend that seriously needed to lose several stone, who 'cried at the drop of a hat' also, but I told her - kindly, but I still did it. She DID get pretty upset, and threw somewhat of a tizz on me, but eventually conceeded that I was the kick up the bum she needed!

Alternatively, offer some sort of book that sets you off as a starter? Maybe something like Jemima J, by Jane Green - that book was so inspiring to me when I began loosing weight - reading about what she ate and how she ate it really let me relate to her, and think about my own eating habbits.

I think it'd be a nice idea to perhaps invite your sister to join you in some sort of a sport you do? I've done that before also, for friends you want to gain a little fitness/lose a little weight. Great ideas are things like dancing (you can take along a couple of gorgeous men! ) and badminton. Alternatively, walking to lovely places - you could arrange to walk somewhere and have a picnic on a certain day each week? This would encourage your sisterly relationship, and you could offer to make the picnic (and make it so low calorie she could 'pig out' without the guilt! You could even get in 'new' healthy foods she hadn't tried to reintroduce her to the idea of healthy eating...or 'accidentally' pack weightwatchers products, as a hint?) Plus if you go to a park or something you could take a frizzbee and jump around with it like you're kids again - great fun And Fab for losing weight! =]

You can be subtle with hints, remember. Just a prod in the right direction can work wonders When I was younger (and massive) a skinny friend invited me over and we watched 'Shallow Hal'. I didn't eat chocolate for WEEKS following that episode!!!

Oh, where I said about doing sporting things together, I really love the gym as a place to hang with pals. You can do your workout, and such together, then sauna it away, or steam room, or jacuzzi, etc! Great for socialising!

Perhaps you could even ask her if she wanted to come to a diet club with you? For 'moral support'? I remember reading a success story about a women who had gone with a friend for moral support and wound up loosing a ton of weight!

 

[hchappyh]

SammyE,
What made your sister lose weight initially? Maybe you can remind her of that and it may help her kick start again. Is she aware that's she's put weight on? I know that sounds stupid but we are all so good at deceiving ourselves! What about her OH - can he not help?

I do like the suggestions of the 2 of you doing something together. It will help your relationship as well as your weight loss. I go for a walk once a week with a friend of mine. We never get to chat during the week, kids, work, life etc.. so our 1hr walk is our time to catch up and gossip and lose weight at the same time!

Good luck and keep us posted
xx