How do you live your life on sole source?

[Hatebeingfat00]

Im starting a total food replacement diet next week but how do you live your life? You cant drink anything but water, black tea/black coffee. Ive been asked to go to my brothers birthday meal and also my sister has asked me to go round her new place for drinks and a chinese. I feel very silly and abit left out whilst her and her mates are getting drunk and eating a chinese whilst im sat there drinking water!!! I cant go to my brothers birthday meal and watch everyone eat.

So, how do you get throught this? What do you say? Do you avoid these situations altogether? These situations are always going to be a battle. Yes, im dieting but i cant avoid/refuse get togethers and become a recluse until im thin??? xx

 

[Sarahdramateacher]

Hey...

I just wanted to drop in after seeing this - I too felt exactly the same in October last year.... And I'm not going to lie and say its easy, because it isn't, but really really really don't stop yourself from socializing. The way I stopped myself from feeling glum is thinking about the bigger picture... Look at the food everyone else around you is eating and just think how good you will feel when you get home and you didn't eat it...

People will think your crazy, but when you've lost the weight it will be worth it. Just drink loads of water and just act as if you aren't doing anything different to anyone else!!

Stopping yourself from socializing will make you miss it more, and then increase the chances of you not being successful....

Good luck lovely. Xxx

 

[Chlo]

I used to go out and find the nearest equivalent to an SS+ meal, eg. chicken salad, plain/chicken sit fry etc. So long as it wasn't too often it didn't seem to make a difference. I would scour the menu before I went so I knew exactly what I was having before I got there, and if there was nothing suitable I wouldn't go. 9/10 there was something suitable, and restaurants are happy to leave off sauces etc. You need to be careful if taking this approach, on the one hand it is good to learn to control your food, but some people find it difficult to pull back. I often found I never left ketosis as I was careful to minimise the carbs.

 

[tennisfan1986]

I'm doing 810 (step 2) for numerous reasons, one of which being because it's easier to socialise. I try to stick to 810 foods when I can but sometimes you just can't. Friends came over last week and all wanted a chinese so I had a small chow mein which is one of the healthier options, as an example. If I have to/choose to eat "off plan" I try to eat minimally and healthily. I had 2 days totally off diet (through choice) in July and other than that have probably had about 10 dinners off plan (again, always through choice). I've lost 3st5lb in 12 weeks so have had good weight loss, although it seems to be slowing a bit now but I'm fine with that because I can still live my life. I don't really seem to come out of ketosis and getting back on track has been fine each time, but I think on 810 I'm in a milder ketosis and because I eat food every day it's not such a shock to my system as it would be on SS.

Maybe you should consider doing 810 instead of SS if you want to remain sociable? I did SS for 8 ish months in 2010 and have found it so much easier this time doing 810. Completely different diet IMO.

 

[RachelJane]

500ml bottles of San Pellegrino sparkling water became my friend at SS stage. Holding a bottle in your hand at a party feels like you're having a proper drink (and looks like a bottle of beer or whatever if no one looks too close!) and also keeps you from picking at stuff. And the gassy water fills your tummy. I didn't mind telling most people about the diet and they understood, but the best way I dealt with anyone trying to offer me food that I didn't want to explain it to was to tell them I have food allergies and I have to be careful eating out. No one argues with that!

 

[Mizkirsty]

I've been out for lunch with several friends with just a glass of water. And I've been fine. I'm still there we still chat. Food isn't the social side of it conversation and being there is.

You could nibble on some chicken whilst they have their Chinese?

Again I've been out for a meal and had a chicken salad and had everything removed except lettuce and grilled chicken which is similar to a ss+ meal so you could always take that approach?

I think as soon as you see it as the end to your life your setting yourself up for a very difficult journey and are less likely to succeed. Xx

 

[CF18]

I'll just agree with what everyone else has said. I went to my brother's birthday dinner three weeks ago and had a double espresso while everyone ate. I think it was harder on my mom than me! She obviously pitied me and kept offering me tastes of her food, which I politely refused. One of my problems was linking food to socializing - especially unhealthy food - and these experiences have helped me to realize that and understand that it's just as much fun without the food, or with a healthier option. The memories of the events are the same either way.

 

[RachelJane]

CF you're so right about linking unhealthy food to socialising. I also used to link food or snacking with going to the cinema, watching tv, shopping, reading, having a bath... etc. etc. I've also started to replace food with coffee the same as you - I've found I'm quite looking forward to a cup of coffee as a 'treat' now!

 

[Fay737731]

I'll just agree with what everyone else has said. I went to my brother's birthday dinner three weeks ago and had a double espresso while everyone ate. I think it was harder on my mom than me! She obviously pitied me and kept offering me tastes of her food, which I politely refused. One of my problems was linking food to socializing - especially unhealthy food - and these experiences have helped me to realize that and understand that it's just as much fun without the food, or with a healthier option. The memories of the events are the same either way.

I completely agree with CF in that its the people I'm socialising with that try and convince me to have a "treat" rather than me wanting it. My problem is that I am not good under pressure from people. If someone went to the effort to make something like a birthday cake they say things like "it's rude not to have a slice" or at a BBQ..."just have a bit of this meat as its quite lean....u feel really bad inviting you when you aren't eating" etc. these are a few situations that I have been in during the past few weeks. Like other people have said if its unavoidable having a plain salad and grilled chicken is your best bet. There is no harm in not eating when others are even though it is really difficult but like someone said above: you will feel really good about yourself if you face these situations and come through the per side having not broken the diet!!

 

[CF18]

If someone went to the effort to make something like a birthday cake they say things like "it's rude not to have a slice" or at a BBQ..."just have a bit of this meat as its quite lean....u feel really bad inviting you when you aren't eating" etc. these are a few situations that I have been in during the past few weeks.

In the past, I've struggled with this concept as well, but I am learning to reject the implication that anyone else has a right to dictate what I eat, especially when my health is at stake. If someone went to the trouble to buy cigarettes for everyone, would it be rude to say, "No thanks, I don't smoke"? Seems silly, doesn't it?

Well, my health problems have not come from tobacco. They have come from sugar, and they resolved even more quickly when I cut out the sugar. Part of this success was teaching myself to say "no, but thank you" and sticking to it firmly. It works!

 

[RachelJane]

Good analogy CF... but it's still really hard to cope with 'feeders' especially when you don't really want everyone knowing you're on a meal replacement diet. My mother in law made me a cake for my birthday a few weeks ago and brought it over. I accepted a small slice and stuffed it into my hubby's mouth when no one was looking! Silly I know, but it's so difficult to know what to say not to offend people. But what if I'd been a recovering alcoholic and she'd brought me a nice bottle of wine? Would I still have 'pretended' and accepted a glass then tipped it away? Or would I have explained my addiction? Difficult :/

 

[RachelJane]

Actually thinking about it, food has to be the hardest thing (socially) to be addicted to. People are totally understanding and encouraging if you want to quit alcohol, drugs, cigs... but for some reason if you try to quit unhealthy foods the reaction is quite different. You're right CF I can't imagine telling someone I quit smoking and them saying 'just a little puff won't hurt'. Another reason for all of us in recovery from obesity to stick together and learn to be strong. Just say NO!

 

[Eclipse]

I wanted to lose the weight so much that I just stuck to it, went to meals, parties etc and didn't indulge, but that was just me, it depends on how much you want it I suppose x