Hi DTBS
Im sorry i have not posted this weekend, i havent been on minimins or the computer at all! This weekend has been a nightmare for me and i dont know what the hell im playing at. Friday night i was good, we went to a friends house to watch the Bokke cream the English, (shame i actually felt sorry for them in the end!) i drank over 4 litres and was very pleased. Saturday i was out shopping the whole day and just about managed my water, was a good day, but yesterday everything went downhill. I managed to persuade my BF that i deserved a burger king - yes i did and i was so adamant that i wanted it, i wasnt listening to any voice of reason and i had MYSELF totally convinced that i deserved it. I ate it really slowly and loved it, i was able to delude myself for about half an hour afterwards and then the guilt set in, i just wanted to reverse my actions and get it out of me. So i did - this is not something that i have ever done before, usually i am quite happy to accept responsibility for what i put in my mouth but i couldnt stop thinking about the damage i had just done. It carries on! Yesterday i had a wedding and had about 6 vodka tonics and was totally drunk, actually after the first drink i was alreay sozzled, i was on the dance floor waving them like i just didnt care and when i got home at 1:30 this morning i ate a cream donught
I just didnt care, i refused to even entertain the thought of this diet and all i was interested in was having a good time. What a spoilt child. I jumped on the scale this morning and i dont appear to have gained any weight - a relief but i know im probably out of ketosis.
You know, i think im starting to see the issues i have with food, i never thought i did before, i just thought i was overweight because i eat too much, I use food, plain and simple, i use it to make me feel good when really all it does is make me feel fat and sad.
Sorry to be so down on you today but as you can see i have alot of repairing to do, im just so dissapointed in myself, - i had 17 days SSing below my belt you know! I just cant believe i can be so positive one day and then so uncaring the next.
Well done on resisting temptation this weekend, i am really proud of you for using your inner strength to battle the voices. Im not sure about adding another shake, possibly? but doing your run you seem to be burning more calories than your eating and i think that could be dangerous. You should probably speak to a CDC about that, we are advised to only do light excercises while doing the diet.
WW is probably a good way to go, though i havent yet thought about it too much yet. I will cross that bridge when i get to it, though if i had all the equipment already like you do, then i would probably go with that!
Anyways best get back to work now, your first weigh in is coming up soon!!
take care honey and be good!