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How to deal with family

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by nat_bean, 23 February 2014 Social URL.

  1. nat_bean

    nat_bean Full Member

    Hi all

    I need some advice. My mum is saying I'm getting all obsessed with SW. I've tried explaining the reasons I am doing it for... How can I make her see sense? :(
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  3. RM07

    RM07 Silver Member

    You are only a few weeks into SW and to be honest I was obsessed too in the beginning, you have to be as you're constantly looking up syn values in your book or planning what to eat. It does calm down though once you settle into it. Would she go to a class with you and maybe talk to the consultant? She might understand the reasons why you want to lose weight but it would help if she understood the method behind SW as well.
  4. Chipmunk89

    Chipmunk89 but you can call me Toni!

    I think we all get like that in the beginning. It caused a lot of friction between me and my partner as he said the same thing. And when you think about it, it must get annoying for them listening to you going on about it constantly. But it does calm down, you settle into it amd become a bit less obsessed. Me and my OH decided to have a date night each week where I just relaxed and had what I want and that really worked well for us.
  5. You can't. It is impossible to make someone else see your point of view if they don't want to. Why keep trying? It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Just refuse to discuss it.
  6. nat_bean

    nat_bean Full Member

    i do it online. I've tried explaining as has my hubby but it just doesn't work
  7. nat_bean

    nat_bean Full Member

    I'm hoping it will get easier.. my mom isn't a cook and always eats out. keeps inviting me out and when I say no she gets very argumentative I've only been doing SW for a couple of weeks x
  8. nat_bean

    nat_bean Full Member

    thank you! I think I may just ignore her nasty comments and get on with it
  9. Good for you! Remember, it takes two to have an argument - she may be argumentative, but she will be talking to herself!
  10. Pips87

    Pips87 Member

    My family are luckily very supportive but I have found a few of my friends to be this way and I have put it down to jealousy as I am losing weight and they arnt. I think some people see it as a Criticism of how they live and their choices.
  11. kikaroo

    kikaroo Silver Member

    I'm lucky that my family are supportive too. I was expecting my dad to tell me SW is a load of rubbish and I should just diet and exercise. (He's always been sceptical of SW, WW etc) However he's just been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes so is encouraging me to follow whatever works for me so I don't follow in his footsteps. (He's not even particularly overweight). Diabetes runs in both sides of my family now so he's just happy that I'm losing weight.

    Let your results speak for themselves. Your mum can't complain when she sees it working for you xx
  12. jogirl

    jogirl Silver Member

    When I first started Slimming World, I think I did become a bit obsessed. Looking back I think I must have bored everybody witless. Luckily my family were very supportive, especially when they saw that A. it was working, and B. I was much happier. I agree with what others have said, try and ignore her comments and let your results speak for themselves!
  13. nat_bean

    nat_bean Full Member

    thanks all

    just going to take it day by day and ignore anything negative. Positive mental attitude will get me thru it

    thanks again xxxx
  14. gazter

    gazter needs to get a life

    People can get irrational about it. To be successful sometimes it does require you to be obsessed. But thinking about what you eat in general is not an obsession. It can be too easy to shove everything and anything into your gob and not think twice about it.
  15. MaccaMarsh

    MaccaMarsh Full Member

    Obsession is a very subjective term, you need to be disciplined and focused, if other people see that as obsession then whatever. Semantics! I would suggest that this is about your mum, not about you. Perhaps she has some insecurities of her own that have been triggered by your determination to lose weight and follow the plan. You don't have to approve of someone's actions to be supportive of them, it's your mum who is letting you down, not vice versa. If it were me, I would have one go at sitting her down and talking to her. Explain the reasons why you're doing it and that you would very much like her support. If that means her curbing the invites for meals out or adjusting where/what you eat together for a while then that might be a happy compromise. Be clear and adult about what you need from her. But if the talking fails, then block it out and stick to your guns hun! Don't let someone else sabotage what you are trying to achieve. She'll soon think differently when you are slimmer, healthier and happier, and if she doesn't, then she really does have a problem.
  16. haileyhaiz

    haileyhaiz Full Member

    I just haven't told anyone apart from my hubby and a couple of best friends! My family are supportive enough but sometimes a bit too much and constantly ask about it and say 'ooohh should you be eating that' so until they notice my weight loss I'm not going to mention it haha
  17. MaccaMarsh

    MaccaMarsh Full Member

    I did a similar thing Hailey, kept my mouth shut until the questions started coming! By the time I'd dropped a couple of stones and people started to notice I was well in the zone and certain in myself that it wasn't just a "phase". I had some quite sharp conversations with my other half who would freak out if I tried to eat something "naughty" which I had accounted for in my syns, and would then encourage me to drink alcohol when I didn't want to. Through this whole weight-loss thing I have made some very interesting observations about other people's responses and social habits!
  18. Jeanne Von Buttonpopper

    Jeanne Von Buttonpopper Silver Member

    To me it sounds like this stems from her feelings of rejection as you don't want to go out for meals with her anymore. She feels resentful that you are now dieting and this is impacting on how it used to be when you just when along with her invitations. Whilst I am not suggesting this is ok, I think it explains her reaction to your diet. I would tell her you feel upset by her comments and would appreciate her support. I think she needs to hear that you still want to spend some time with her and perhaps you can go out for a 'SW friendly meal' or invite her round and cook something for her, or have a take out night (just a suggestion :D)
  19. nat_bean

    nat_bean Full Member

    i think its best just to get on with it from now and not take any notice of her. she will notice once ive lost the weight :D
  20. nat_bean

    nat_bean Full Member

    thank you... im going to try my best to arrange maybe once a month to go somwhere SW friendly then we both can be happy :D
  21. Does your Mum need to lose weight? I think it sounds like jealousy. If you are doing something about your weight and your Mum is struggling too then she may feel bitter about it. However, if this is not the case feel free to ignore me! :)
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