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I am disgusted and angry

Guru

Silver Member
#1
With myself.

I cannot believe I let myself get into this state and did my best to ignore it. I am affecting mine, and my husband's, chance to be a parent. I will have a shorter life span. I cannot physically do some of the things that we would like to do together.

And now I am SO FAT that I have to lose over half my body weight to be normal!

That's disgusting.

I am furious.

I am an intelligent woman yet I did this to myself.


I know I am doing something about it now, but I am having a fit of rage.
 
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#2
look at those losses girl and be proud. You have come so far already in a short space of time. There is nothing you can do about the past but you can learn from it and make sure that you don't repeat the patterns that make you feel this way. When you have a fab baby in your arms you will have the motivation to stay slim and healthy just to be able to do all the active things with your fab family!

Chin up, you are doing the right thing now that's all that matters :0)
 
#3
Wow Guru
You are being extremely tough on yourself.
Don't look at what is past, because what you are doing, and planning to do is have a really happy, healthy future with children.

I am not sure that we intentionally "do it" to ourselves. From some of the stories I have read on hear, it is heartbreaking to see the reasons why people eat. Eating from now on will just be fuel for you - to feed yourself with good nutrients. You will benefit and your wonderful children will too.

Make all of your statements from now on positive ones and I will start that for you Guru.

You are strong, you are fantastic for having lost over 2 stone, and yes you are an intelligent woman who will carry on with this.

Love
Rosie xx
 
#5
a lot of people are overweight , its not stupid theres a lot of reasons people gain weight. i think we all have those days when we think wth did i let myself get like this, but the fact of it is we are choosing to do something about it ,you know if you see through cd all those problems will be gone and you can be proud of it! your doing so well you shouldnt be angry at yourself.
 

Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#6
I am affecting mine, and my husband's, chance to be a parent.
And now you're doing something about it. You're doing really well, and once you get a bit further, it'll be even easier to get pregnant hopefully. Your weight may not influence it. And even if it does, it soon won't be an issue!

I will have a shorter life span.
Would. But again, you're doing something about it. So you can expect to have a long and healthy life!

I cannot physically do some of the things that we would like to do together.
At the moment. But soon enough you will be able to. And you'll have an enthusiasm and appreciation like never before, that many people don't have!

And now I am SO FAT that I have to lose over half my body weight to be normal!
It doesn't matter how far you have to go. It's about the fact that you've decided to do something about it, and that's the hardest thing. We've all got here because we chose to ignore the scales going up. It's not only you, we all know how you feel. But keep going and soon enough you'll get there. And you'll have a whole new zest for life! You'll get to do all the things your weight has ever stopped you doing. You'll be a mum, and an amazing one too no doubt. Don't be so hard on yourself hun!
 

Guru

Silver Member
#7
Thanks all. In the last four weeks my emotions have ranged from anger, to despair, to elation, to boredom, and frustration.

So my friends who think this is the easy option and that I should be "eating sensibly and exercising" can kiss my fat arse!
 
#8
You're angry and that's good, you can use anger as a driving force! Whenever you feel the urge to eat something you shouldn't think of that anger and push the food away.
 

Angela83

Silver Member
#9

The following is from a post last week, sorry I cant remember who wrote it but i saved it to read again.


"guys.. about the regrets of putting on so much weight in the first place.. once it's gone, it's gone.. there are people on this planet who are bigger than you ever got.. be kind to yourself.. and remember.. there are benefits to having once been larger.. for me..

I have really strong healthy legs for having carried so much weight so long

I'm loving and appreciating my new found health, but I'm not arrogant about it, and I have a healthy humility and understanding of how easy it is for anyone to get into comfort eating etc.. so I haven't turned into some body-fascist who stops seeing the value in people, and only sees their size/clothes.. It's easier to value people's strengths when you've been there yourself.

I've discovered that my body has the capacity to renew itself, and that helps me recognise that I have the capacity to renew my life in other areas too.. go new places, learn new things, feel freed up..

I wouldn't have any of these to this extent, if I hadn't had the weight in the first place..

Here's to CD!

Vxx "

Dont be hard on yourself, you're doing so well, keep going!!
 

LizS

Shut up Ethel
#10
Anger is good - its better than being apathetic! But turn it to your advantage rather than getting mired in rage and pain. Use it as a positive force to drive yourself forwards. As others have said, you can't change the past. If you feel you need some help to understand why and how you did this to yourself, then seek out some counselling or CBT, if there's issues that you think might be at the root of it that need winkling out and dealing with. If, though, on the other hand you are simply furious that you've got to this point and you know why and you're determined never to go back there.....use this. Turn it round and make all your negative statements positive ones. You know what you want, you know what you've got to do to get there. In coaching we don't focus on the past, as there's nothing we can do about it (this is why I say if there's issues, then you might want to see what you can do about them). what we DO do in coaching is decide where we are, where we want to be and work out what we do to get there. Break that down into a series of small steps each leading one to another.... and focus, focus, focus on that goal!

Which, if I'm not much mistaken, is what you're doing!! You know where you are, you know where you want to be, you know what you've got to do to get there. And, most importantly, you're doing it.

So yes, use your anger, let it drive you forward. Just don't dwell on the past, the why, the what ifs. You've come so far, you're doing SO well, just keep doing what you're doing and you'll get there!

A final thought about goals - make sure yours are positively framed - a pull/towards rather than a push/away from goal. The mind can't focus on a negative (seriously - it just doesnt' work!)

Hugs
Lx
 

Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#11
That post from from enough I believe! I'm pretty sure I remember her writing it. And I'm pretty sure she's V!
 
#12
hey chuck hold on
its absolutly normal to get like this you've reached the point - you have to make the decision and by doing this diet and doing it so well you've already made it
its normal to look back and say why did i allow this why that - it's good to do it analyse it and then get on with the rest of your life
your moving in the right direction this time next year you'll be at goal happy healthy and making plans for your family it's only a year- how many have you wasted i know i've wasted the last 20 years at least. you'll not miss any more
o.k there are things you can't do now but i bet there are less things than there were 3 months ago and in 3 months time you'll get to relish in new things
your children when you have them will know how much they meant to you-even before you saw them you changed your life for them
yes you are intelligent yes you are articulate your also human dont be so hard on yourself
your a great human with so many things to look forward to
sending you love
 

LizzMB

WILL be Slim!
#13
hold onto that feeling....print that email out and stick it on your fridge as a constant reminder of what you could go back to and why your doing this diet!
Every potential blip is a blip that can be prevented with the power of positive thought and a huge amount of mind over matter!
What is more important to you both....food, or that much longed for addition to the family hun? Keep that in your back pocket of your ever decreasing jeans as a reminder of what spurred you in!
Your doing a super job hun! Keep up the good work...the past is only a waste if you dont learn from it!
xxx
 
#14
yeah i think that post was from enough sounds like her she's so wise!
 

CeeKay

Staying on plan!
#15
if you got angry pre cd, would you have turned to food for comfort?
i know i would have......
as you are doing so well, and staying on plan, you arent blocking everything out by stuffing your face..... so the emotions are being given time to take hold
i had a few emotional outbursts the first time round, and only realised why when reading another post earlier...

take heart that you havent given in and stuffed your face. its a big milestone!
xx
 

Guru

Silver Member
#16
Thanks for the support everyone. I am less angry this morning.

Although I am a bit bemused as my scales say I have PUT ON a pound since yesterday and I have stuck to SS 100%. *sigh* I hope it comes off by weigh in on Thursday. Must get the water down me.
 

Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#17
Your weight fluctuates +/- 2.5 lbs a day! Depending on water, what you've eaten, time of day, if you've been to the loo! So don't worry about it, it'll all even I'm sure!!
 

Guru

Silver Member
#18
It's mad isn't it? I can weigh 3lbs heavier in the evening than the morning!
 

Caz

Slimming down the aisle
#20
That's because 1lb is the equivalant of 454 grams. For breakfast I have a punnet of strawberries, that's 454g exactly, so 1lb, but only 110 calories!! And I believe 1 litre of water weighs 1 kilo, so that's 2.2lbs! So it shows how easily those things can cause our weight to fluctuate throughout the day!
 


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