I can't see the real me in the mirror


Silver Member
G: 10st0lb
I'm not on LL but have been on a low carb diet where I have lost weight pretty quickly (2 and a half stone in just over 3 months)

Something weird happened to me yesterday and this forum is so much busier than the low carb one so I thought I'd see if you lovely people would be able to help.

I still look in the mirror and see an overweight person - I think I look OK in clothes but definately not thin (this is despite a tummy tuck almost 6 weeks ago - I look in the mirror and see a flat tummy but i still think it looks thick)

Ever since xmas people have been telling me I look good but I just think blah, blah, blah whatever I've still got about 10lb to lose.

Anyway on friday i went out with some friends and we took photos of the night. Yesterday I looked at the photos and do you know what I do look quite thin - still think I could stand to lose the last 10lbs but the thing is what I saw in the photos is so much smaller than what i see when I look in the mirror.

I wonder if anyone else has had this and if you have any advise for how I can retrain my brain to see the actual me in the mirror not the image in my head (funnily enough when I was overweight I had the exact same problem but then I would look in the mirror and think I looked ok then look at photos and cry because in real life I didn't look half as good as I thought I did!!)
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Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
Lou - that is VERY common. There are more then a few of us in RTM at the moment who have all commented at one point or another who hard it is to get the head to catch up with the body.

I wish I had some advice, but I struggle with that too.

One thing someone once suggested and I have yet to try myself, but that is have someone take a video of you walking around, just doing stuff. Then view that rather then a still photo. Supposedly you really see yourself more clearly. I don;t know, as not tried myself.

I think it just takes time. We lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time on VLCDs so it makes sense - our head has to catch up with it. Just like everybody else really.

My best friend told me she still can't believe it unless she looks at my photos. It just boggles her.

So, would love to hear any other pearls of wisdom.

Well done on your loss in any event, thats a wonderful acheivement!!



Gold Member
Good idea LS. And the video one BL but you'd have to be brave to ask someone to do that.
I'm struggling with the same thing. it's so hard to know. But then i think - does it really matter what other people think.
I was in a shop trying on a dress yesterday which is quite fitted. I asked my OH that age old question "does my bum look big in this?" I couldn't believe it when I realised what I'd said.
The lady in the shop said "You haven't got a bum."
But somehow I couldn't believe her even though I know the dress is a size 8. That's the main reason my OH took some
photos of me last night.
Still trying to get my head round the same thing.
If you get the answer please let us all know....................


Silver Member
G: 10st0lb

Thanks for the advise ladies

Like the video idea - will have to have a think who I can ask to video me without them thinking I'm a little strange.

The photo that really made me think I've attached below (at least I hope I have - all a bit new to me) - forgive the rather intense/ terrified look on my face i was ice skating for the first time ever and desperately trying not to break something :8855:


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    me skating.JPG
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nearly there!! :)
yup im having that prob!!

i started ll wearing a tight 16-18, and never wore jeans, just tracksuits....
now 19weeks later, im in size 8's and 10's.
i still look at me and think god where did the weight come off, but its slowly catching up on me.

i think the big thing for me is catching myself off guard, like if im shopping seeing me in the window of a shop, i do actually stop and thing oh wow it is me!!(not in a bigheaded way tho :))

or i notice a new part of me that im loving (today it was my calfs, they just looked so small and these have always been a big thing for me!!)

it does take time but ya will get there. everytime ya think...sure i look the same, still "fat" stop ur self and say something positive!!

well done on ur loss u look fab xxx


Silver Member
G: 10st0lb
oh excellent it worked - the other one was this one

I'm the one in the distance circled in yellow - there is nothing extraordinary about this photo which is the whole point that weirded me out - usually when trying to pick myself out in a distance group shot I looked for the person with the big bottom and that's me but in this photo I don't look "different" to anyone else - I use the phase "different" advisedly and without meaning to cause offense to anyone I just can't think of any other way of expressing it


  • me skating in distance.JPG
    me skating in distance.JPG
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S: 14st1lb C: 8st10lb BMI: 23 Loss: 5st5lb(38.07%)
Totally understand where you are coming from hun, that is where my obsession with photographs came from and they have really helped my brain get some perspective on how I look.... and YES you do look very slim in that piccy!



Silver Member
G: 10st0lb
Totally understand where you are coming from hun, that is where my obsession with photographs came from and they have really helped my brain get some perspective on how I look.... and YES you do look very slim in that piccy!


LOL - i think you might be right having avoided the camera for years I'm going to have to jump into every photo until I can get my head around it.

I've seen your photos as they have been changed on your signature and in every one you look stunning - you have a great wardrobe of clothes


It will come with time, every day you will find little things that you never even knew your weight affected but did (something as simple as bending down to pick up a dropped pencil, that one was a real shock moment for me!)

It also varies depending on your day as well.
Every time I get home on a Friday night after a weigh-in, I love what I see in the mirror and really think I see the 'real' me.

On Mondays, I get up to get dressed for work and think I still look 20stone no matter what I wear, but then I'll see myself reflected in the bus-stop window and realise my clothes are hanging off me......

Just give it time, your body changes so fast it's no wonder your head can't always remember those changes!


Silver Member
S: 16st5lb C: 12st13lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 29.2 Loss: 3st6lb(20.96%)
Lou, I've just posted more or less the same thing about my signature pics. BL told me to look at them with the head cut off (not literally, she's not a sadist!! LOL!) and she was right, I SO could see the difference. I suppose as long as we realise the reality even if we can't see it everytime we look in the mirror.

I wonder if it is this 'drive' thing, can't remember what the scientific name is (Pete??!!) where your body does everything to get back to the highest weight you've ever been. I haven't quite worked out how this might be related mind you!!

Oh, and don't worry, if you maintain your weight for six to twelve months, this resets itself to the new low weight!!

Waffling - time for bed!! LOL!