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I dont know what Im doing. (food mentioned)

#1
I really dont know what Im doing, I've been overeating for a while now and I just can't bring myself to stand on the scales. Tonight I've had crisps and chocolate for tea along with a few house measures of morgans&coke.On the water now and away to watch another DVD, kinda feels like the signs of depression but i really don't want to go down the route of anti-d's but on the other hand I guess they're there for a reason.

sorry Im rambling a bit and it maybe doesn't make much sense but just feel the need to rant. Why am I doing this to myself?? It so feels like a compulsion but I know deep down that Im choosing this, but why???

I think I know the reason why, I just don't like myself. How can I get to age 26 and not like myself? Im a great mum, I'm a great care worker and do the best to be a good wife and look after my husband.

I'm sure all this will look better in the morning but what plan I'll be on tomorrow, I've just no idea, still got the packs &made the funds available to see this through. If I could only get past this fear of actually getting to goal.

Sex and the city calls, just watched confessions of a shopaholic, liked that I could just escape into it.
 
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claira07

needs a real kick in the
#2
bless i klnow how you feel, i have just spent 2 1/2 months eating myself silly and gaining some of my weight back. i to felt upset with myself, in a rut, stressed, ect. i saw the doc and he has arranged some councelling for me, try this luvvy, hope you feel better soon, how old are your kids x
 
#3
Aw hon you are doing the right thing by admitting you have done this and need to try get back on track again. How about starting at 810 for a week then SS+ for a week then SS to ease yourself back in.

Counselling is a good thing if you can get it through your GP and may make you address something you didn't know existed.

Hope you feel better soon xxx
 
#4
Claira - my little boy's 1, he's great.

Went to the gp a few months back to ask about councelling, he told me that there wasn't anything available in my area but he also told me about this online course which I started and it was helpful but I havent looked at it for a while now.

Attempted a 810 day today but as soon as i got home from work the binge monster got me.
 

claira07

needs a real kick in the
#5
ok, the reason i asked is because of post natel depression, i was really down after having my little boy and was put on anti depressants and im sure it was a bit of post natel, but not ppicked up. talk with your health visitor, ask her to come to you, and pour your heart out. they are great, but i know some people dont like to / or dont think they can open up to them. and ask again at your drs, they can usually always get around the councelling thing if they feel it is needed, or even see if theres a private on locally, can cost around £20 + an hour, but one session may be enough. good luck please let us know how you get on , and chin up, learn to love yourself, your a very pretty girl and your last pic was fab xx
 
#6
I know where you're coming from - I went through a phase where I just seemed to be harming myself through eating. Stuffing and stuffing and I couldn't seem to stop. Suddenly something flipped inside and I got my act together and got on CD and everything is going wonderfully.
I hope you get sorted out soon. Best of luck!
 

Katycakes

Stubborn tortoise
#7
Angela, sorry to hear you are struggling and feeling low, have been there myself so many times. The low mood & the food-abuse always goes together for me... and stems from low self-esteem. There is no easy fix, but try the cbt online again, and try listing your plus points and giving yourself the same credit you would if talking to one of us. We are always so much harder on ourselves, but the one person you really need to make friends with in this life... is you. Like any friendship, it doesn't happen overnight, but you can make a start on it... be kind, and good luck.

xxx
 
#8
Thanks all, so true Katy-you always know the right things to say!

Feeling fine so far and made myself step on the scales this morning, 12,13 so not as bad as Id thought it would be. 1 shake down, planning a SS+ day (with the food option) but will add milk to my tea if we go to MIL in afternoon.

I can do this and I am worth it!