You need to get your head in the right place. If it's not, it doesn't matter what plan you try.
Have a good long think, write down what you want to achieve, what time scale would be acceptable. then write down what will happen if you don't do it. How you'll feel, empower yourself with the knowledge that the future is your decision, it can be any way you want it to be. You have to decided, you have to want it badly enough and you have to find a plan that will help you get it.
For me it is cal counting. I'm doing it kind of flexibly so I have higher and lower days ( try to fool the old metabolism as much as poss). I have had days as low as 1000 and today, as it is saturday, I am allowing 1800. On days when i haven't eaten up to my limit I have banked the spare calories in a float. This weeks float stands at 420, so if I want to or need to I can have 2220 cals and still be within my weekly limit.
It's just a mechanism to take the pressure off, but boy does it work. I expect to lose a steady 2lbs a week, not the highs of CD (which i've never done) but consistent and achieveable. By the first of March I will be a stone or more lighter than I was on the first of Jan, that does it for me.
I feel for you; I know EXACTLY how you are feeling right now. I also know that you will be happier when you have made a decison and got a plan rolling.
Only you can do this for you.
Love