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I don't understand it! Why can't I stick to it this time!?

I don't understand it :(
Before my son I found it so easy to stick to a diet without ever cheating.
It was just a way of life and chocolate was something I didn't even miss.
Now however I can't just can't seem to stick to even the most basic of expectations of myself.
I'm 3 stone heavier than I was after having my son 8 months ago. I've been on a diet and got down to 10st 9lb but slipped and have now gone back up to 11st again.
I feel like a yo-yo and food is starting to depress me in a way that it never did before.
I don't want to become obsessive but I can't help feeling that way lately.:cry:
I keep all my old size 6 & 8 clothes in the wardrobe and it feels strange that I no longer can even pull them up my legs when the memory of them fitting me perfectly is still in my mind.

Sorry for rambling on. I just feel better writing my frustrations down.
I'm not going to bother going on another diet now until after christmas because I couldn't bear to lose (and then gain) that same 1/2 stone again over Christmas & the new year. I can makes promises to myself that I'll diet over Christmas but I know if its a new diet then I probably won't be able too and I will end up feeling even worse, I've already yo-yo'ed between 10.7 and 11 enough this past couple of months.
Come the new year however i'm going to start afresh and actually stick to it.
I'm starting work again and that highly strung environment is wonderful for making you forget food :)
I just hope I can do it this time and won't let myself down yet again.
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Hiya m8

Ok firstly don't beat yourself up!! It is the path to problems and being slim and being positive go hand in hand in my eyes.

Why not spend December just being sensible, keep the water intake up, do a bit of calorie counting and fat counting and then see what the new year holds, my only concern with people saying they are going to diet in the new year is that it can give an excuse to eat a lot of calories while they are waiting for the new year.

Anyway keep smiling and keep positive and remember that you are not very far from a target weight even if you think you are :)

Ok thanks icemoose thanks for the advice i'll remember that:)
I don't really stuff myself over Christmas anyway.
If I can just stay the weight I am while over christmas I'll be able to start from the same start point as before so i'll be ok with that.

I suppose i'm just getting depressed because i've never had to really worry about my weight in a very long time.
I only ever had to maintain it, which for me is a lot easier than losing it.

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