I need lot's of help please

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by kelly_333_333, 7 April 2010 Social URL.

  1. kelly_333_333

    kelly_333_333 Kelly Manton

    Posts:
    296
    Likes Received:
    12
    Start Weight:
    19st4lb
    Current Weight:
    14st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    4st9lb(24.07%)
    On Monday the 29th my amazing Mum suddenly passed away :'( I've kind of been on auto pilot since. I wasn't able to eat at all for days. I'm managing to eat more now but have been eating what I want and I don't want to undo all of my hard work. The day I found out I also stopped smoking so I've not smoked for 9 days now.

    I'd just love some help, advice etc. I'm not sure how I'm coping at the mo really :(
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. abigail09

    abigail09 Gold Member

    Posts:
    1,520
    Likes Received:
    21
    Start Weight:
    11st6lb
    Current Weight:
    11st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st5lb(3.13%)
    sending my love kelly, its hard for me to know what to say when you have lost someone so close to you and can only imagine how you feel right now. when you go through such a terrible time you do just got on auto pilot and life seems like an absolute blur til you get a bit of normaility in your life. if your really struggling seek some sort of professional help to get you through. dont worry about sw, its not the main priority in your life right now, i would speak to your C about it and rejoin group when you feel ready. i lost over 7 lbs in a few days last year going through an enormously stressful time myself which is also a blur but its not good and not healthy. look after yourself kelly but speak to someone who specialises in bereavement if your struggling x
     
  4. JackieN

    JackieN Gold Member

    Posts:
    9,131
    Likes Received:
    69
    Start Weight:
    17st7.5lb
    Current Weight:
    17st5.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    14st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st2lb(0.81%)
    Diet:
    Slowly cutting out refined sugar and cooking more from scratch
    (((hug)))So so sorry to hear about your Mum. I was like that when lost my Dad suddenly. Its a rollercoaster of emotions. Be good to yourself. Take life a day at a time. Try to eat small portions throughout the day. I went off food for ages and nibbled, i'll never forget as lost so much weight (all went back on again) You will have good and bad days. Grief is one of those things we all deal with differently. I found I couldn't face or fancy proper meals but smaller snacky things I managed and soups. Have another (((hug))) xxx
     
  5. alwyn

    alwyn Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,068
    Likes Received:
    16
    Start Weight:
    80.29kg
    Current Weight:
    80.29kg
    Goal Weight:
    60.33kg
    Lost(%):
    0kg(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Don't have anything to add but just wanted to give you my love Kelly *hug*
     
  6. Woodsylou

    Woodsylou Silver Member

    Posts:
    889
    Likes Received:
    20
    Start Weight:
    13st6.5lb
    Current Weight:
    13st6.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st11lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Weight Watchers
    My goodness you poor poor thing, I can't even imagine how you're feeling.

    Have you spoken to anyone about bereavement conselling? i think it's so important to speak to someone when you suffer such a huge loss. you poor thing.

    if you feel you want to focus on SW still then let yourself, sometimes i can help to have something else to think about, but if you dont, then don't, you are going through such a traumatic time you need to focus on just getting through the day.

    it always helps to eat lots of healthy food anyway, but if you need a break, don't beat yourself up.

    i am so sorry for your loss xxx
     
  7. Laddiesboy

    Laddiesboy I ♥ Slimming World :)

    Posts:
    1,149
    Likes Received:
    50
    Start Weight:
    24st0lb
    Current Weight:
    17st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    13st12lb
    Lost(%):
    7st0lb(29.17%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Awww bless you **HUGS**

    I lost my mum when I was just 21 and she only 46, the hardest time of my life for sure. Everything else went on the back burner while I came to terms with it and dealt with all the things that needed dealing with.

    I wasn't following SW at the time, so it is slightly different, but I would most definitely have forgotten all about it for a few weeks if I had been.

    You need to do whatever it takes to get you and your family through this awful time, nothing else really matters. It doesn't matter if you put on weight a little. In fact it is more vital that you MAKE SURE you do eat, as I lost quite a lot of weight just after losing my mum as I kept forgetting to eat.

    Deal with the grief, take a few weeks off, then get refocused when you are ready to. You may even find that getting back on plan and refocusing your mind will help you deal with things as it gives you something else to be thinking about at times.

    I hope I'm not out of line for saying this but I'm sure your mum will have been proud of you for the weight you have already lost, and would want you to be able to get back on track sooner rather than later and get to target :)
     
  8. suepat10

    suepat10 I am one of the 63336

    Posts:
    2,889
    Likes Received:
    88
    Start Weight:
    20st3lb
    Current Weight:
    20st3lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Kelly, I am so sorry to hear of your loss (((((( ))))))
     
  9. malaika

    malaika Lover of Extra Easy

    Posts:
    2,273
    Likes Received:
    83
    Start Weight:
    11st8lb
    Current Weight:
    9st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st8lb(22.22%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Having lost both of my parents, I know the pain you are feeling.
    I can only echo the words the others have said and send you hugs xxx
     
  10. Harrie

    Harrie Silver Member

    Posts:
    612
    Likes Received:
    47
    Start Weight:
    9st12lb
    Current Weight:
    9st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st10lb
    Lost(%):
    0st8lb(5.8%)
    Diet:
    Slimming world
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Please, don't go through this alone. Go see a bereavement counsellor and talk through your feelings. You must be feeling so raw at the moment.

    Look after yourself
    xx
     
  11. pesty

    pesty Fighting the bulge

    Posts:
    4,971
    Likes Received:
    83
    Start Weight:
    13st13.5lb
    Current Weight:
    13st2.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st11lb(5.63%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Sorry for you loss Kelly, sending big (((HUGS))) your way.

    I dont really have anything to add, just to say do whatever you feel is right, if you want a few weeks off then that's more than ok. If you want to stick with it then make sure you eat and have good things on hand to nibble.

    I've had a very stressful time of late and for me food was the one thing i felt i could control in the madnessa round me, just make sure your ok before worrying about anything else.

    As always, were all here if you need a chat

    xxxxxx
     
  12. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

    Posts:
    32,826
    Likes Received:
    1,137
    Diet:
    WW
    I am so sorry to hear your news. At the moment you are bound to be in a state of shock and everything not real. Almost as if you are not part of what is happening in real life. Take each day as it comes and forget about a diet you have enough on your plate at the moment.

    Sending you big hugs and don't forget if it helps to cry you cry.

    Irene xx
     
  13. Simmy1978

    Simmy1978 Full Member

    Posts:
    487
    Likes Received:
    6
    Start Weight:
    13st3lb
    Current Weight:
    11st3lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st0lb(15.14%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    so sorry to hear about your loss hun! my prayers are with you and your family! i dont really know what other advice to give you in terms of being on the plan apart from just taking one day at a time to cope with your feelings..

    i lost my grandfather while on the plan 2 yrs ago and kinda fell of it for about 2 yrs and refused to accept that it was now time to get things back in order for my health's sake

    i can say though that i wish i hadnt waited 2 yrs before going back to slimming words as now i have even more damage to undo!

    but do take whatever time you need and get back to it when u feel you can! *hugs* wish i could help you more hun! xx
     
  14. LadyHelen

    LadyHelen No Coffee, No Workee

    Posts:
    512
    Likes Received:
    14
    Start Weight:
    19st6.5lb
    Current Weight:
    19st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st6.5lb(2.39%)
    Diet:
    Weight Watchers
    I can't improve on everyone else's advice, but wanted to post and say I'm thinking of you, I'm so very sorry for your loss. :gen126:
     
  15. StripedDaisy

    StripedDaisy A sucker for a key change

    Posts:
    856
    Likes Received:
    10
    Diet:
    Slim & Save
    I have nothing useful to say as both my parents are still around, but I remember the feeling of devastation when I lost my grandparents who I idolised. But I can send you my virtual hugs too...

    (((((HUGs)))))
     
  16. louisedan

    louisedan Gold Member

    Posts:
    1,906
    Likes Received:
    21
    Diet:
    slimming world
    lots of hugs to you-its a horrible feeling and unless you've been there you can't understand the sheer force of how the loss punches you inthe stomach and takes away your physical and emotional legs.No words will ease it but very slowly the sun will chase the clouds away long enough for you to smile through the tears. You'll feel guilty for smiling at first but then think of her smiling and remember she will be smiling with you.Keep that thought in your head and one day you will be able to laugh and cry as you think of her. A mothers love never dies like yours for her will never die.It will take a long time but take it one tiny step at a time.Its too soon to see through the clouds yet but remember if you need to talk we will all help. Don't be afraid to ask. xxxxxxxLouise
     
  17. lupuscow

    lupuscow Full Member

    Posts:
    117
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    11st12lb
    Current Weight:
    11st6lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st6lb(3.61%)
    Diet:
    slimmingworld
    Sorry for your loss and there is some great advise on here, but just wanted to say well done for giving up on smoking. Thats a major acheivement, and now you've given up for this long, don't give in to cravings. As for food, try and keep your strength up and its not the end of the world if you gain, you can restart when you are ready, you know it is possible to lose, just in your own time. take care. x
     
  18. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Advert

  19. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

    Posts:
    21,556
    Likes Received:
    95
    Diet:
    Slimming World from home
    So sorry to hear of your loss x I am not able to understand the situation fully as am lucky enough not to have been in it and can't imagine how I would be able to cope with anything let alone the focus it takes to stick to plan!
    I would suggest be gentle with yourself and take it one day at a time x
    There is an article about how to bounce back from anything in this edition of SW mag, it mentions bereavement but its not a very long piece...don't know if it would help at all? xxx
     
  20. Shrimpy

    Shrimpy Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,120
    Likes Received:
    38
    Start Weight:
    13st6lb
    Current Weight:
    8st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st11lb
    Lost(%):
    4st8lb(34.04%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    So sorry for your loss. Don't worry too much about SW, just take things slowly and one day at a time. The pain will slowly dissipate, talk to someone, doesn't need to be counsellor, just remember to talk through things...
     
  21. Brightonrosie

    Brightonrosie I want to be fitter again

    Posts:
    1,981
    Likes Received:
    90
    Start Weight:
    11st8lb
    Current Weight:
    11st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st8lb(4.94%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Hello Kelly sad sad news. Even though I have lost both of my parents I still don't know what you are going through because everyone is so so different. Personally I think it is too early to see a counsellor. If you need to talk about her death and how you are feeling, close friends are probably best at this time. As for SW and stopping smoking it is sometimes good to feel you can be in control with a couple of aspects of your life when everything around you is out of your control. At the same time even good intentions can go slightly haywire whilst your emotions are in turmoil. The mothering part of you, needs to look after the small person inside you, who is crying for her mum. Tears are good. Let them flow if you can . Hope this makes a miniscule bit of sense to you. It will be difficult to work out what you need right now. Try things out and see how they feel. Eat as many nourishing foods you can as well as foods that calm the body. things like bananas are a great natural sedative. Camomile tea is brilliant for calming effects also. Take care. xxx
     
  22. kelly_333_333

    kelly_333_333 Kelly Manton

    Posts:
    296
    Likes Received:
    12
    Start Weight:
    19st4lb
    Current Weight:
    14st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    4st9lb(24.07%)
    Thank you all for the wishes. I'm having good and bad days and lot's of different emotions. I still don't honestly think it has hit me properly and probably won't until the funeral.

    I'm still not smoking but the diet has gone completely out of the window, I've eaten lots of foods I probably shouldn't but have allowed a little comforting and will get back on it on Monday.
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...