I need to Binge...

[ELAY]

I have had the day from hell. :cry:

I have had so many family problems recently and they have come to a massive head today and basically my Mother and I will never speak or be in the same room again (she is a manipulative nasty nasty woman, who has tried to ruin so many peoples lives and I won't stand for it).

This has been coming for a number of years!

I have shed no tears as I have done that so often before.

And now to the food bit.. does this make sense to anyone.

I want to binge, I know I will binge tonight as it's a comfort thing... but I want to do it tonight, so that I can feel guilty and move on from it and refocus on me and CD.... not all this other crap! It's kind of a final supper to close the chapter. Does that make any sense to anyone... please?

 

[Tif]

Of course it does - but why let someone who you have no respect for now ruin your goals and achievement. Take control - feel empowered

 

[The Rose]

Hi Elay
It does make sense because that is what i have done all of my life. Through all of my problems food was my comfort. But I was looking at your weight loss and you have done so brilliantly. Could you change this now as well, this could be a big thing for you as well, change the way you deal with this horrible situation.
Do something else other than turn to food at this time and you will be so proud of yourself. You have lost over 11 per cent of your body weight - can't wait until I have done as well as you.

I am sorry to hear about all of your problems, take it easy on yourself Elay..

 

[moti17]

Oh Elay, you don't need to binge.
I have a love hate relationship with mymum also, but, eating ain't the answer.
I know what u mean about it being a comfort thing , but after u might feel peed off that you've succomed to it.
Obviousely it's your decision, bit think how glad you'll be tomorrow when u can look back and know that have beaten the craving!!
Your doing great so far with your losses!!

 

[Tif]

If you cope with stress with eating - you'll loose all that weight and when you come across stress again you'll pile it back on

 

[daisy2002]

I know how you feel, my mum can be so incredibly insensitive, hurtful & nasty a lot of the time.
I stopped talking to her for nearly 2 years & only recently started talking again.

As for the binge eating i totally understand but would urge you not to do it.

I tried to explain this to my husband but he doesn't get it. When my 8 year old is in hospital or rushed to hospital because of his asthma i have this deep, strong urge to binge eat. Not just when i'm on this diet but even when i'm eating food.
A week ago he was rushed to hospital & was in hospital for 2 days due to an asthma attack. I had to fight so hard not to eat. It wasn't that i was hungry its just this 'thing' that happens to me when he's taken ill. It doesn't even matter what it is, i just want to put my head in my fridge & eat anything

I didn't eat :angel09: & i'm so glad i didn't.

Don't let what your mum has said & done make you eat. You have to be strong & resist the urge to eat.

 

[mrs bee]

Please don't do it! I think you'll feel worse for it! Don't let your mum control this too! Have a shake a nice bath and an early night instead!

Good Luck x

 

[herewego]

Hi Elay,

Sounds like you've had a crappy day to say the least!

I understand completely how you feel - Eating when we are upset is what many of us do to comfort and look after ourselves. It might not be the best way of looking after ourselves, but it's one we know and love (and hate!!).

It won't give you real comfort though as you will feel guilty and then no doubt kick yourself for coming off the diet. Sticking to the plan will give you a great sense of satisfaction as well as reminding you that you can cope with hard times without resorting to food. If you do end up eating, don't beat yourself up over it and at least plan ahead what you are going to eat so that it's controlled and not a full on binge.

Big hugs from me! Family can really suck sometimes!

 

[Sunshine Singer]

Noooooooo don't binge!! you'll feel even worse afterwards. You've done so well and have always posted for me when i've been in some dark places. It's so not worth it. Drink mint tea instead and keep busy. Or write your blog or private diary and get it all out but not with food. I understand why you want to but doooonnn''''t. And if you do we still love you and are here for you no matter what you do. hugs x

 

[LizzMB]

the last supper??? NO!!!!
That will be letting your mom now control your food as well as having had an inpact on your past! Today has been about "last's", but this can also be the last time you let your mum effect you, your life and especially your eating!
Rise above it all hun! Your better than that!

Really hope you didnt binge hun
xxxx

 

[lunar jim]

Ah Elay, if you binge:

1. it'll be like your mum has got in another hit against you
2. you'll totally regret it

 

[LizS]

Oh Elay. What a sh!t day. It does sound to me like you've made the choice to do it, or that you're justifying why you're going to do it....and yet, and yet, you're here and telling us about it. To me, that says there's a little wee tiny chance that you've got an opportunity to put the brakes on....

So you feel pretty crapola right now - I am sure any one of us would feel the same. But if you binge, you'll feel crapola and you'll have eaten loads of things you didn't really want in an attempt to change your state of mind, and it won't have done. You'll still feel the same except afterwards you'll feel double crap at having given in.

Be strong. Don't let yr mother have the last word. When you look back on today, be proud that you put yourself first and did the right thing by you. Now step away from the fridge.

<hugs>
Lizx

 

[ELAY]

Well What can I say other than THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU :thankyou:

(as Darius once said... there is a lot of love in this room!)

Daisy... I hope your son is okay now? well done for being so strong.

MrsBee, LJ, LizS, LizzMB.. you are all right, If I binge I will be letting her have some kind of control over me still (even though she won't know it!, I WILL)

Sunshine, you're a star.. I think I will start a blog!!

Herewego... I have decided to take your advise, I am going to eat a planned dinner tonight.. I'm currently cooking myself a mini chicken breast and three bits of broccoli, this way I hope that it will stop me from having a binge! (even though I have to admit.. I did have two malteasers!)

Thank you once again everyone for such wonderful support. It really is amazing that there are so many people out there who are so caring! :grouphugg:

 

[boardwitless]

I don't understand the binge mechanism, I guess I'm fortunate as I have fairly stable relationships with family and I'm fat because I'm greedy and I love my food. It does seem however (without moving into the amateur psychology mode) that people binge eat almost to get the 'guilty' feeling afterwards as they have been made to feel that they are inadequate and worthy of no better. Does it taste good? probably not (or are you even tasting it? no) Will it make you feel guilty? yes, later. Will you feel that you have failed then? Hell yes. Is that the aim of a destructive relationship? Of course.
Don't let this negative relationship affect your attitude to food and how you treat your body. It is a form of self harm and I guess you would try your hardest to persuade someone not to do that if they were determined to.
Wishing you strength xx

 

[curlywurly1234]

Hey hon,
Just wanted to say Well done you! for not binging......
I am sorry to hear you have had such a crap day..... and wanted to send you big hugs!!
Your doing fab so dont let anyone ruin it for you hon!!!!
Chin up and smile as you will get there xxx

 

[Julie Williams]

I second what curly has said keep your chin up honey and dont let the world get you down xxx

 

[LizS]

Well done Elay....hope you enjoyed your chicken x

 

[kikuka]

Well done Elay!
Wow, just look how great you are. You stand up for yourself and others, you are not afraid to speak your mind. You have stuck to your decision. You have overcome your demons, you are gorgeous! What a way to turn a crap day into a real turning point.

 

[Lisa Claire]

Morning Elay, hope you enjoyed your dinner last night and nothing else, well done for hanging in there.