i now understand why..........

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by wannabeskinny, 3 December 2008 Social URL.

  1. wannabeskinny

    wannabeskinny Silver Member

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    it has finally dawned on me today, yes ive lost 3 stone, yes i have gone from a size 16/18 to a 10/12 in 3 months, yes im chuffed to bits...

    BUT, its really annoying when people keep saying "ohh your wasting away" or "you really dont need to lose any more", or "we wont be able to see you soon", yes they are lovely compliments and makes me really pleased... but why did they not say when i was bigger, "ohh you look like you have put weight on"

    Anyway I have realised that these people that say the nice things I am now the same size as... so is it envy, or do they not want me to be the same size as them... my bigger friends say "when are you going to eat again" why I think do you want me to be the same size as you again I dont know, do they feel more comfortable around me when I was bigger???

    My answer to them today has been, yes I want to lose some more, yes there will be plenty of me left when I get to goal, and no I dont want to eat just yet happy as I am...

    Sorry was that a rant feel better now I just sometimes dont understand people, are they being nice or have alterior motives for being nice, or am I paranoid or should I just accept what they say now im confussed x
     
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  3. night-owl

    night-owl Gold Member

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    I'm right there with you on that one. "You'll be hiding behind lamp posts next!" is another one, and of course, the most annoying "Surely you don't need to lose any more????"

    "Really?" says I to my friend, "What height are you?"
    "5 4" she replied.
    "And what do you weigh?"
    "10 and a half stone," she said.
    "Well, I am only 5 3 and I weigh 12 stone. Why on EARTH do you think I don't need to lose any more??? I'm smaller than you and I should actually weigh less than you!"

    Thanks.
    I really needed that!
     
  4. Serena A

    Serena A Can't think of a title

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    Nice one Frances I'm going to have to nick that one for when I get to that stage :D
     
  5. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    Brilliant!! :happy096:
     
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  6. izmirka

    izmirka Trying to stay positive..

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    i think they are just trying to be nice. i get a lot of comments like that, including a text from one of my friends that if i still feel fat it means i'm anorexic... but other than that, i think they're just trying to compliment you and make you aware that they notice the difference:)
     
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  7. Bijoux

    Bijoux Fat Fighter

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    I have said to one of my housemates that I don't know where any more weight she wants to lose will come from. She's lost 3st and she looks fabulous but she still wants to lose more. I don't say it out of spite, quite to the contrary. At the end of the day if they are true friends, emphasis on true, then they are not doing it for some hidden psychotic reason, maybe they are just concerned or paying you a cheeky compliment.

    Plus to be honest would you have the guts to say to someone they are gaining weight?
     
  8. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

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    I think it's one of those where it depends what's said and who is saying it. I have a friend who when I just got into a size 16 advised me that it wasn't healthy - now that wasn't being said for my benefit it was being said for her. Another friend advised me to keep going as I looked happier and healthier and she wanted me to live a healthier life. The worst had to be someone who was really close to me who said in a really nasty voice 'you're going to be slimmer than me, hmph I'm not having that!' and then proceeded to go on a diet LOL
     
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  9. Smiley_Cat

    Smiley_Cat Loving CD SS!

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    Ok guys, this might sound strange but am really looking forward to these comments - whether they come from good or negative intentions!

    When I lost weight years ago, a guy I was at uni said (in his very camp way!) 'ooooh you're just melting away!'...and I didn't take it as anything but a compliment (had he used 'wasting away' i might not have taken it as such! lol) - I felt so good at the time. (now the ex husband never said anything, but any surprise he started acting really jealous and started pushing me away? hmmm....)

    Anyhoooo....considering I've gone from the size 12 I was then to an 16/18 now :( I say...

    Bring 'em on!!! lol

    I'm going to revel in any kind of comment I get! And I have a feeling sticking around this forum I'll learn all kinds of witty & clever comebacks ;)

    So wannabeskinny, just enjoy and laugh inside at the petty natures of some people - cos you are well on your way of being alreadyskinny :)

    :)Cx
     
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  10. mandye

    mandye Silver Member

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    I have had all these coments and got quite angre about them .
    Now when I look back at pics of me I can see what they ment ,I looked quite gaunt not that I could see it at the time .It did make me look ill ,now a few month on I dont look ill anymore my body has caught up with the diet and I look more healthy .
    Peeps dont coment as much anymore and it is more of a wow factor for peeps who have not seen me for a while .Hope this may help explain some peeps reactions but of course not everyone is a caring soul some just cant stand someone achieving
     
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  11. wannabeskinny

    wannabeskinny Silver Member

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    hi and thanks for the comments, the people who left them are only work collegues and to be honest i only rely on one true friends opinion who at the moment is supporting me through out this, maybe i am being sensitive i dont know and perhaps i should just take the compliments (which always give me the drive to carry on) but sometimes i dont trust people not to have alterior motives x
     
  12. LellyCD

    LellyCD Trying to stay healthy!

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    Hey wannabskinny, I've loved getting compliments although you can tell when some people are saying stuff out of jealousy especially when they have their own weight issues. Mostly i have had a great response from friends n family. However, saying that there was one friend who I met up with last week who I had not seen since before i started CD (she has her own weight issue) and she did not mention it at all, completely ignored the fact that i look so different now, not a dickie bird!! and then later on in the evening told me of someone she knew who had lost weight on CD and looked absolutely awful and then she just put it on again, I just smiled inwardly and ignored it, it was pure jealously!

    xx
     
  13. Bijoux

    Bijoux Fat Fighter

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    LellyCD, what a (pardon my french) b*tch!!!! People like her should be given a good thrashing like Mr. Fawlty and his car in Fawlty Towers. Lol.
     
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  14. Blueeyes26

    Blueeyes26 Full Member

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    I look it at 2 ways:

    1. Your friends might just be worried about you. You have lost 3 stone in 3 months, we on the CD diet now that is the norm, but on other diets you hear it can take a year to lose that amount. So they might just be genuinely worried about you. You say your friends are about the same size of you, so the comments they make like "ohh your wasting away" - might not be because they think you are too slim at the moment, but because they are worried that if you are losing 1 stone a month, that in a few months time you will be wasting away. Because they don't understand CD, and don't see how it is possible to lose so much weight in such a short period of time (they may think of VLCD like an eating disorder)

    2. The other way to look at is: They are jealous (I don't know: how old you are? Are you single?) they may see you now as competition and they were more comfortable when you were bigger, as you weren't so much of a threat to them. They might not be very confident with their own looks. Just take it with a pinch of salt, in a few weeks or today they will be telling you how amazing you look and how proud they are of you.


    I agree, people don't tend to tell you when you are putting on weight (apart from close family/friends). I think it is because people see it as a sensitive topic to talk about, most negative things are. It is very easy to say: "You look great you look like you have lot loads of weight." But it is much harder to tell someone they are putting on weight, as it might be seen as "b.t..y"
    If you asked a friend if you look big in an outfit, most of us would say we would perfer her/him to be honest with us. But if the reply was yes you look big in that outfit, we might be hurt deep down. So people probably avoid the issue of telling someone they have put of weight to save their feelings.
    My family used to always call me fat (even when I wasn't) and that made me feel really bad and is one of the main reasons why I started to comfort eat & put on weight.

    Don't let you friends get you down, you have made an amazing achievement & don't let them take that "feel good favour" away from you - enjoy it!!!!
     
    Last edited: 4 December 2008
  15. cicerone

    cicerone Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    I'm kind of in the middle with this one. Some people really do care and the comments they make are just them trying to be nice. Other people (some work colleagues) are jealous and just dont like to see you achieve.
    You have to trust your own instincts and your closest friends and family.
     
  16. wannabeskinny

    wannabeskinny Silver Member

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    2. The other way to look at is: They are jealous (I don't know: how old you are? Are you single?) they may see you now as competition and they were more comfortable when you were bigger, as you weren't so much of a threat to them. They might not be very confident with their own looks. Just take it with a pinch of salt, in a few weeks or today they will be telling you how amazing you look and how proud they are of you

    hi thanks for the reply im not single been in a relationship for 6 years and im 36 in 13 days time (ohh im getting on)
     
  17. Blueeyes26

    Blueeyes26 Full Member

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    You're not old. I think it's probably both, they have a touch of the green-eyed monster they are jealous of your achievement, but are also worried about you.
     
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  19. Dieting Rambler

    Dieting Rambler Size 14 Here I Come!

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    I would have thought its a combination of concern and jealousy!:jelous:

    I know that I am in a strange situation, because I rarely see my family or my close friends....ok that sounds even odder now that I have written it! :8855: But basically my family in this country lives over 2 1/2 hours away from me or in Ireland, my really good friends are spread all over the country, so we telephone, text, email constantly but only physically meet up 5/6 times a year.......next Friday being one of them. Also being winter those friends near me are hiding indoors in the warm:D

    Any true friend will show concern but also should support you.......and I know that I have the support of my best friend (OH) and that to me is all that really counts.:9529:
     
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