I'm completely hopeless & at my wit's end :( HELP!

[lauryn]

Hi guys :wave_cry:

So I'm definitely a struggler, and looking to restart - so I'm in the right area!

I'll cut a long story short - I gave birth to my daughter in September last year and had gained around 30lbs during pregnancy. I lost quite a bit after I had her (not sure exactly how much), but quite quickly regained it PLUS more due to quitting BF'ing being a very bored SAHM with an easy going baby and just general greediness and lack of motivation

I first joined SW at the start of the year, followed the plan perfectly and gained 1lbs in my 1st week, and maintained the 2nd week so I quit that. I then joined WW Propoints 9 weeks ago - lost 2lbs in my 1st week, 1lb the week after, then I went away for 4days and completely went off track, didn't follow the plan or go to WI for a week or 2 and when I went back I'd gained 5LBS so had added another 2lbs on from when I first joined. I've tried to get back on track with it, but due to financial reasons I haven't really been able to shop properly to buy all the healthy or things I would usually get :sigh: and I've lost so much motivation (not that I had a lot to begin with ) and so here I am.

I'm utterly disappointed in myself, and hate myself for letting it get this far. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, or go shopping to buy clothes and have to always get the next size up :cry:

Enough is enough, how longer am I going to keep getting bigger, and hating myself for doing it to myself, but never changing? My partner & daughter deserve a healthier & happier me, and so do I! We want to go on our first family holiday together in July to Majorca, but honestly, the thought of me having to wear a bathing suit, shorts, skirts etc makes me feel physically sick!! People having to witness how large I am no thanks!! So I really need to do something, and fast!

I can't be trusted with food it would seem, so I'm thinking of trying a meal replacement diet. That way I'm cutting food out completely and can hopefully rebuild my relationship with it and also for fast results. When I lost 3lbs at WW that feeling of achievement was the best, and I just know with fast weight loss results on a meal replacement diet I would be so proud of myself and it would be the best motivation to keep me going on!

I'm sorry for such a long post, and ramblings I just felt I had to get it all out as I haven't told anyone in real life how I actually feel! So if anyone has any kind words or some info/help on where to look to next I would be ever so grateful!

Lauryn x

 

[Barb]

Don't worry, you can sort this out. You've got loads of good reasons and all you really need is some organisation.

First, do a food diary, that will make you accountable to yourself. Next, plan your meals, think of healthy stuff that you like, don't be martyr, but eat what makes sense. Cut out the stuff that has zero food value. That's cake, biscuits, sweets, pastry based savouries, fizzy drinks and booze; to name but a few.

Here's a typical days food diary for me ;

Breakfast - 2 small slices toast, scrape low fat spread and a little jam with a cup of tea.
Mid morning - small banana
Lunch - mixed salad with boiled egg and ham and 2 small new potatoes. Dish of strawberries.
Mid aft - sliced apple.
Dinner - lean chicken, marinated in low fat yogurt and curry paste, cooked under grill, served with steamed rice and salad.

First weeks weight loss = 8lb! So, it can be done. I am being super strict as I want to get this done with, by the end of July I hope/expect to have lost 1.5-2 stone. So could you!

Good luck.

 

[lauryn]

Wow Barb that's amazing, well done you!!

You must have brilliant determination! Because although your menu sounds delicious, I know I would still be starving! And I'd cheat myself by having huuuuge portions, seconds or sneaking something naughty in in between I'm just completely useless when it comes to food! x

 

[Barb]

If you tell yourself you are completely useless then you will be. If you say you have some learning to do and that you know it will take time and effort but be worth it, then you will do it.

If you want to you can. So, do you?

 

[lauryn]

I really, really do! I've had enough now x

 

[Barb]

Ok then, do it! The most important bit is getting your head in the right place. Fighting those negative voices in your head that say 'you deserve a treat', 'one little chocolate won't hurt' - that kind of thing.

Why not use your holiday in July as a starting motivator. Don't know if you are going early or later, but if you started today and were going early July, you have at least 5 weeks to make a real difference.

You could easily shift a stone before you go, think how much better that would feel? On holiday you can eat lots of lovely fresh fish, fruit and veggies and save some calories for a nice cocktail or two in the evening. Pack in lots if walks and swims and you could even lose on holiday. It can be done.

 

[2daynot2moro]

hi lauryn,

i can relate completely. You mentioned you wanted to do a meal replacement diet but maybe you have changed your mind. I started exante today it works out at £25 a week if you buy the 4 week bumper pack for £100. People who have been doing it for 6 weeks seem to have lost at least 2 stone or thereabouts so maybe do that. it removes food completely and when you are in ketosis you are usually not hungry plus all the water drinking will give you great skin for your holiday pics.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Maintainer]

hi lauryn - I too can completely relate to everything you are saying, and it really does sound as if you've had the "wake up" click required to tackle a large weight loss.

Before starting, one really does need to be "ready", because as you know, it's going to be a long journey. But, as you've said yourself, just those 3lbs lost gave you a wonderful feeling of achievement, just imagine how much you could lose if you set your mind to it.

If you're going on holiday in July, I'd not recommend a meal replacement diet (or indeed low carbing), as you'll lose fast, but not have time to stabilise the weight so whack it straight back on again with extras!

What I would do though is go for something healthier - perhaps along the lines of what Barb is suggesting (add extra protein if you're hungry) until after your holiday, and THEN go for something strict and long term.

I would obviously recommend Dukan - as it enables you to EAT... lose weight without hunger (after initial two days)... and, if it's followed through the phases (ie beyond the weight loss phase - at target weight, there are still two phases to go before you're done!), stabilise your weight. It does however, like a meal replacement diet, require total dedication, forgives no slip ups, and is probably therefore a lot easier than one which tempts one's willpower three times or more a day.

It also requires careful shopping, food and menu planning, and can be expensive - although I'd argue that, as alcohol and extras aren't allowed, I'd have spent more "before" just not all in the supemarket!

Anyway, good luck to you.

 

[scarlet-lips]

Hi Lauryn,

I was in your position a couple of years ago. I was the fattest out of all my friends (I still am!) and we had all booked a holiday to Cyprus for the summer hols. I had 3 months to lose weight in order not to look like a beached whale next to all my friends.

I tried the Cambridge Diet and the results were amazing I lost 4 stone in 12 weeks.

Then I went on a two week holiday and came back 1 stone heavier!

Maybe you have more willpower than me but I found meal replacement diets very difficult. I couldn't socialise with my family and friends the same, such as simply sitting around the table having dinner because if I smelt the food I wanted it and if I gave in to temptation I couldn't stop at half the plate...I had to have it all and maybe seconds!!

I have now come to the conclusion that no diets will work for me so I am just eating heathier and reducing the bad stuff by half.

A meal replacement plan will work wonders for a short term solution but after your holiday I would switch to healthy eating plan for a long term but slower weight loss.

 

[lauryn]

Wow thanks guys lots of helpful info & personal insights, just what I needed.

I guess you are all right - maybe a meal replacement isn't the way to go forward just yet as I'd probably put all the weight back on during the holiday

I have definitely woken up & smelt the coffee this time, I am just scared to start another diet just to fail once again :cry: that's why the meal replacements are looking very tempting!

I should just start eating healthily, seeing as I need to get my mind set in that way for the rest of my life. But at the same time, I really really REALLY wan to see some fast results, I know my motivation will stay if I can see and feel the difference (I'm terribly impatient ). Maybe a low calorie, healthy eating diet could work for me!??! Now just to find one...

Barb - I do go early July, so you are right - 5weeks would be plenty of time to shift a stone! Ahhhh that'd be lovely


2daynot2moro - I've never heard of exante? Is it similar to CD/LL? £25 a week is really good!

Maintainer - Thank you! I've never heard of Dukan... Is that a weight loss group?

scarlet-lips - Are you me!?! Hahaha I am the fattest also out of all my friends and hate it! We do sound very similar... I'm starting to think no diet will work for me. Only problem is I don't think I have the willpower to just go it alone and try eat healthy (I know, this attitude definitely isn't helping me either!) but it is just me being truthful. I really am my own worse enemy!!

 

[Legomom]

Have you ever tried just calorie counting? If you do plenty if exercise you can eat almost anything i find it a really common sense approach. As in you veeeery quickly learn that if you have a fry up for breakfast you will go hungry to bed lol and that 'empty' calories (like say full fat coke) are a very bad thing! I really think about what I eat now. Is this good nutrition? Will it fuel my body? Do I really want that? Etc. Also it encourages me to work out far more as I can eat more but after a good workout I feel far too good to eat chips! It's win win lol

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[Barb]

How's it going Lauryn? Have you made a start yet? Hope so.

 

[lauryn]

Hi Barb!

Well I decided to go for a LCD and have ordered a pack from exante I feel I really need some motivation, & I feel a good start with some impressive losses will give me that! I just plan on doing that for 4wks and them going on to calorie counting from there! x

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