I have wanted to post this for a while, but haven't been able to as I am so totally shamed of myself.
I started LL in January of this year, and finished foundation with a total loss of about 35lbs - I had a few blips along the way. I am getting married on 22nd December of this year, and at the end of foundation, I went wedding dress shopping. The dresses all looked amazing, and I felt so so proud of myself.
Because I was doing so well on my diet, I ordered I size 14 wedding dress - one size lower than I was at the time. The dress has a lace up back, so I have some flexibility with the sizing.
Everything was going great - but then I had a miscarriage. Things seemed to fall apart a bit - we also had some other massive family traumas which I will not go in to. We also bought our fist house - what should be an enjoyable experience was a stressful nightmare - I almost had a breakdown.
So the net effect of all this, and why I am now so desperate I cannot sleep at night, is that I have regained quite a lot of the weight I lost. Tons actually. I ate through the stress, through the pain, and to keep myself going when all I wanted to do was sleep for a century and wake up after the wedding was over.
My first dress fitting is in about 2 weeks time, and I am absolutely dreading it. This is not how wedding preparation should be, and I am just so upset. I am lying awake every night worrying about how bad it is going to be instead of looking forward to what should be the most exciting times of my life. I feel awful - fat and unfit and horrible, my clothes don't fit, and I can't even tell my fiancé what is wrong because I am so ashamed of letting myself go so quickly. He is pretty intuitive, and I think he knows, but in a way that makes it worse, as he tells me that he loves me whatever size I am, and whatever I wear. I just don't see how he can find me attractive at all.
I really need help from you - because only you guys can know how I feel.
I have about a months worth of LL packs left over from Foundation and management. I keep trying to restart but I can't. I was looking over my old LL log books and I need to do LL well for about 6 weeks to get back to a weight when I could squeeze into my dress. I want to do it so so badly, but I just seem to sabotage myself all the time. I can remember how good it felt being on LL, the lack of hunger and none of the sugar and carb binges, but I can never seem to get past the first five days.
On top of all of this, I have tons and tons of social things coming up - two hen celebrations, endless meals out, drinks and parties, and I just cant seem to find a way through.
Please help me - I am so worried that I am going to do something very dangerous and stupid in desperation. I want to look amazing for my fiancé, and in the photos that we will keep forever.
I have updated my ticker below, to read my current weight and my dress fitting goal.
[I want to end by saying that LL is just great - it really works - but don't get back into emotional eating once you have got near your goal weight!]
I can't believe I am admitting I'm such a failure
Thanks guys
Slimbride
I started LL in January of this year, and finished foundation with a total loss of about 35lbs - I had a few blips along the way. I am getting married on 22nd December of this year, and at the end of foundation, I went wedding dress shopping. The dresses all looked amazing, and I felt so so proud of myself.
Because I was doing so well on my diet, I ordered I size 14 wedding dress - one size lower than I was at the time. The dress has a lace up back, so I have some flexibility with the sizing.
Everything was going great - but then I had a miscarriage. Things seemed to fall apart a bit - we also had some other massive family traumas which I will not go in to. We also bought our fist house - what should be an enjoyable experience was a stressful nightmare - I almost had a breakdown.
So the net effect of all this, and why I am now so desperate I cannot sleep at night, is that I have regained quite a lot of the weight I lost. Tons actually. I ate through the stress, through the pain, and to keep myself going when all I wanted to do was sleep for a century and wake up after the wedding was over.
My first dress fitting is in about 2 weeks time, and I am absolutely dreading it. This is not how wedding preparation should be, and I am just so upset. I am lying awake every night worrying about how bad it is going to be instead of looking forward to what should be the most exciting times of my life. I feel awful - fat and unfit and horrible, my clothes don't fit, and I can't even tell my fiancé what is wrong because I am so ashamed of letting myself go so quickly. He is pretty intuitive, and I think he knows, but in a way that makes it worse, as he tells me that he loves me whatever size I am, and whatever I wear. I just don't see how he can find me attractive at all.
I really need help from you - because only you guys can know how I feel.
I have about a months worth of LL packs left over from Foundation and management. I keep trying to restart but I can't. I was looking over my old LL log books and I need to do LL well for about 6 weeks to get back to a weight when I could squeeze into my dress. I want to do it so so badly, but I just seem to sabotage myself all the time. I can remember how good it felt being on LL, the lack of hunger and none of the sugar and carb binges, but I can never seem to get past the first five days.
On top of all of this, I have tons and tons of social things coming up - two hen celebrations, endless meals out, drinks and parties, and I just cant seem to find a way through.
Please help me - I am so worried that I am going to do something very dangerous and stupid in desperation. I want to look amazing for my fiancé, and in the photos that we will keep forever.
I have updated my ticker below, to read my current weight and my dress fitting goal.
[I want to end by saying that LL is just great - it really works - but don't get back into emotional eating once you have got near your goal weight!]
I can't believe I am admitting I'm such a failure
Thanks guys
Slimbride