In a bad way.

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Uphillstruggle, 24 June 2007 Social URL.

  1. Uphillstruggle

    Uphillstruggle Full Member

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    I got to Day 100 on Thursday. Haven't cheated once in the whole of Foundation and lost 58lbs.

    Thursday I went out and ate. Haven't stopped since! It is the biggest binge I have ever been on and I have already put on 5lbs according the the scales. The thing is I still have a stone to lose so want to get back "on it" and do development for a while but somehow I cant seem to stop eating (and drinking).

    I know this is bad. I thought I was "over" the whole binge eating thing having been so controlled for so long but now I am doubting everything and convinced I will never get back on LL - I cant face the ketosis headaches this week.

    I know I will put it all back on and that is depressing me. I feel like I've given up.
     
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  3. Eileen

    Eileen likes posting.

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    How about looking in your book at some of the reasons you started ll, how you felt etc.Think of how you felt before you lost the 4 stone. Good luck its not easy i know.
     
  4. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

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    Oh Hun, big hugs to you, I know you must be feeling down about it, but there you have faced up to it, you know that the path you are now is the way to self destruct, and you have come too far to do that.

    Why not list all the good points about losing weight. Then all the bad points, the only bad point I can think of is that you go back not eating for 6 weeks, and thats it, and to be honest, its not really a bad point, coz its gonna get you to where you want to be!!!

    Deep Breath and go for it, the food isnt going to go away when you get to goal x
     
  5. Cherry Plum

    Cherry Plum One day at a time

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    A lot of us have had binges & feel like giving up, but you mustn't, you must carry on.
    I think you get to the end of the 100 days & feel relieved & let your guard down & become complacent.
    We are only human, I managed to get back on the wagon after eating several times & then having a bad binge day.
    Don't listen to the negative chatterbox in your head.
    You will get to goal, just keep going, you've come this far & done so well.
    Just keep focusing on the end result, how you are going to feel & how good you are going to look.
    Good luck
     
  6. In search of me

    In search of me Silver Member

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    aWW BIG HUGS HONEY!Ooops sorry caps! Just get back on the wagon, tell the chatterbox to foff and before you know it you'll be at goal! I'm sure as states above that you just got the 100 day "well deserve to eat" and then just went nuts! Better to put of the inevitable and get back on tracks cos the sooner you do that that sooner you finish! Go on, you know you want to!
     
  7. AmandaJayne

    AmandaJayne Trainee Maintainer

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    Aw hun, my heart goes out to you. I've been sitting here for a while trying to put myself in your place so I can offer some support that might help.

    I think that the feelings you have described are not unusual. In fact you'll probably find posts from other members who have been through this too.

    Our mind play tricks on us, and psychologically at the end of 100 days we might (subconsciously) feel that "that's it, I am cured, I can get back to normal again".

    Or then again, it might be that you feel (again subconsciously) threatened by all this weightloss - I mean 58lbs is an incredible achievement, and you may feel motivated to return to comfort eating to feel safe again.

    I know you may not want to, but it may be wise to look back over your green book and come to terms with your feelings about losing the weight.

    It is really scary to go from someone invisible, with no expectations of themselves, and no expectations from everyone else either, to suddenly realise that you are visually very much 'improved' to the outside world. You can't use the excuse of your excess weight any more to prevent you moving outside your comfort zone and take risks.

    What I'm trying to say is that this is all in your head, and only by looking honestly at your feelings and thoughts (doing thought records perhaps is a good start) will you begin to LEARN from this experience.

    And that's what it is. A LEARNING EXPERIENCE, and a very important one, too. If you can climb over this, and move on with your weightloss journey, you will be extremely grateful to have survived it.

    One thing I have learned is that I have to be vigilent all the time because crooked thoughts try to creep back all the time, bad habits try to assert themselves, negative feelings try to overcome me and make me feel bad about myself. I am currently fighting back against these thoughts, but it is emotionally tiring sometimes.

    Try if you can to draw a line under this experience.

    Tomorrow is another day, a new day, a better day. Go to bed with that thought. Keep reminding yourself of your fantastic achievement to date.

    Also, GO TO YOUR NEXT LL MEETING. Yes, I know that it will be the last place you want to be, but as my LLC has said, if you DON'T want to attend the meeting, that is when you most NEED TO, to get the support and advice to help you succeed.

    Good luck!
     
  8. SafcGirl31

    SafcGirl31 Full Member

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    Sorry you're feeling so bad, I think theres definitely something about the finish of the 100 days that messes with our heads!!! Theres been quite a few posts about the finish of development being hard mentally. I finished a couple of weeks ago and although I didn't binge I did eat for 5 days. Its just what happened and you need to forgive yourself, no-ones perfect and try to SS one day at a time. Mondays a great day to start!!! Don't avoid your LL class, in fact if you can, ring your LLC or go in to see her. Theres a thread from a couple of days ago about someone in maintenance who'd gone off the rails and got back on track, she said that in maintenance they talk about breaking the lapse - relapse - collapse cycle. Thats the key in maintaining the weight loss by breaking the cycle. You've done so well, don't collapse! If you can't face the SSing why don't you see about going into maintenance early. Most people still lose weight whilst following the maintenance programme and you can always SS when you feel strong again. Hope you feel better soon x
     
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  9. Helen

    Helen Full Member

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    Hi

    I think a lot of us on here have had problems when we reach 100 days, we focus on that rather than the end goal. It certainly happened to me.

    You have not failed though. Think about how many years you have been putting on weight for and you have only been doing this diet for 14 weeks. It is still early days. If you can draw a line under it as AJ says you will realise that actually you have learnt a lot already.

    Also as AJ says talk to your counsellor and group and do a thought record, it helped me enormously when I was in your situation.

    Get some painkillers in case of headaches (though you maynot be so bad this time) and start afresh tomorrow. That 5lb and more will be gone again by this time next week.

    I know it is difficult but you can do it and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    Let us know how you get on.
    Hugs
     
  10. katie_oxo

    katie_oxo Silver Member

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    I agree with everyone that the whole '100 days' is worked upon and around so much when we are on LL - it's like a final hurdle for us to cross ..... then some of us get there and it's a big let down - bit like a bad new years eve where you think everyone in the world except you is doing something wild and exciting! I do think that people on LL should be taught to focus on their weight loss and the time that that may take rather than the magical 100 days.

    Please just put aside what has happened - jump back on the wagon and stick with it. Do tell your LLC what's happened and how you've felt, you need his/her support too. You know that if you stick to the plan you'll soon be at your goal - so just concentrate on how good it will feel to be there :)

    Cath
     
  11. SafcGirl31

    SafcGirl31 Full Member

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    Just a thought, maybe LL should run seperate classes for those who only need 100 days to get to their target weight and lose their 3 stone. For those of us who need to go that bit further (ie, another 4 stone for me) it would be helpful to be with more alike people and not to concentrate on the golden 100 days. Haven't really thought it through though, the practicalities and stigmar of being in a 'bigger' group may not be good :confused: But I know in my group there was a different attitude from the 3 stoners and the rest and most have dissappeared since they lost the 3 stone. No offence intended to any 3 stoners here!! Just my experience. x
     
  12. girlygirl

    girlygirl Silver Member

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    You've done fantastically well and frankly anyone who can manage 100 days - and lots of people do - is a very brave soldier!

    You won't gain it all back if you take a deep breath, dust yourself off, and start afresh. I've never tried LL but I have used CD to great effect after regular dieting. When I stopped SS-ing I had problems with hunger and slipping and even bingeing, but I kept on fighting the good fight. It's the only way.

    Keep posting for support, speak to your LLC, maybe as suggested before go into management earlier. You are absolutely not alone in this experience - to be honest I regard this part of the journey as inevitable. We are human, we are programmed to eat, and when we do eat after extended periods of abstinence appetite can come back, fast.

    Think of all you've achieved, reach out for support, and keep going. Keep posting, too. It really helps.

    Good luck, hun.
     
  13. In search of me

    In search of me Silver Member

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    How are you feeling today?
     
  14. Uphillstruggle

    Uphillstruggle Full Member

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    Thanks to everyone for your kind messages and support. I had 2 shakes today plus an iced latte, some cauliflower cheese (a tiny portion) and a cheese roll. Bad I know. I lasted til 5pm with just the shakes but then the old chatterbox crept in again. Tomorrow is another day and i will start again. Feel really teray today and having a lot of emotional issues (going through a separation) so although I can't "blame" that or use it as an excuse, it is not helping matters much. I will try harder tomorow as this is not something I am willing to fail at.
    x
     
  15. SafcGirl31

    SafcGirl31 Full Member

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    'Afterall tomorrow is another day'
    Hope tomorrow's good to you.
    Keep on fighting the good fight
    x
     
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