in a real bad mood(no need to read just need to rant)

[metrognome]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

its my mums birthday today and a meal was arranged a few weeks ago by my niece, anyway yesterday i get the phone call that none of them can go as they have no money and i cant afford to pay for 8 people so my answer is sort it out then phone me and let me know!

i get the phone call and they now are saying my mum is paying, i have told her that she is not paying for me and other half it took some arguing (you know what mothers are like) i would also be paying for her she is paying for my brother and his kids.
i tell other half that she is paying and before i can get anymore out my mouth he says he is not going and that its her birthday and she should not pay o fine i say dont go i tell him i am paying for us and her but stil he thinks its wrong and it should be arranged for another day so i am now going on my own and have to tell her why he wont be there

sorry to rant its totm and im not in a very good mood as it is and now all i want to do is dig a very big hole and get in it cover it over and stay there

sorry

 

[Chuffy_29]

Your mum shouldn't be paying as it's her birthday, and you've done the right thing saying you'll pay for you and other half. Why not offer to take your Mum to lunch, you've still got time to do something, and then leave the others to their own devices for dinner. Ranting is fine!

 

[Beki]

i can understand where your OH is coming from (and you obviously feel the same), but he should be there and put his principles aside for the night. and maybe give them all a stern talking-to afterwards! :hmm:

it's not right that your mum should have to pay! they all should have sorted out their finances before arranging it - it's not fair on your mum!

i agree with chuffy - you should tell the others to forget it and take your mum out for dinner - just you, OH and your mum, and re-arrange a get together with the others when they've got the money

 

[metrognome]

if only it were that simple :wave_cry:
its all down to my brother really he says he cant afford to pay for him and 2 of his daughters but can afford to go to the pub and seen as he is the golden child and number 2 niece is a favourite as well she wants them there,
its all worked out nicely for other half as he didnt really want to go in the first place, it cost me nearly £150 last year when they decided we would go out for mine and older nieces birthday and i simply cant afford that kind of money this year.
i know i should look up and say im not going but im going to get it in the neck either way, i got enough stick when i said i would be paying for us and her but my shoulders are as wide as the rest of my body so i can take it

also they never have any money so she would be waiting a very long time for them to take her out
thanks

 

[Chuffy_29]

That's so unfair. It seems like they do this on a regular basis! Maybe next time it's suggested you should say somethingl ike, oh we've got something planned already, and go out yourselves and do something for your mum. I don't think you're being unfair, and as Beki says ask your OH to put principles aside for an evening out and make your Mum happy.

 

[tara40]

i agree with your OH as your brother and family have had a whole year to save up for a birthday meal. Even if they put away £10 a month then they would have had £120 to spend.
we have much the same with my hubby's family, some members think that the world revolves around them.

good luck and happy birthday to your mum.

 

[Beki]

awwwww - i know how difficult it can be with family... i suppose there's not really a lot you can do aside from grin and bear it. it's such a shame though! at least you can come away from the evening with your head held high and knowing that you treated your mum (even if she treated everyone else!). hope the meal is lovely, and you and your mum have a lovely night xxxx

 

[metrognome]

oh well off to work to see if i can earn some more money to pay for some more of it
thanks

 

[Lady Mhoram]

Surely if they didn't have much money they would have known that a few weeks ago when they booked it? I know meals out can be expensive, but there are always things that can be done on a budget. They could have suggested to throw a BBQ or cook a meal for everyone which would have been cheaper if they knew they'd end up having to pull out.

Sounds like they've just left you to pick up the pieces instead of making any alternative suggestions.

That sucks and it's quite selfish of them. I'm sorry

 

[Donnie46]

I don't think you mom should be paying it is her birthday after all....

Is it possible to re-think and maybe have a BBQ at the weekend and everyone bring something whether it be food or drink, it would be a lot cheaper than going to a resturant and it would be a nice family get together too.

 

[metrognome]

thanks for the replies guys,
it turned out ok after all, mum never paid a penny brother paid (not nearly enough) for his and his kids and girlfriend and i paid the rest it skint me but never mind mum enjoyed herself
other half never went but thats his loss