My weekend - I don't know how to describe it! A bit of a
long winded ramble here.. and a new strategy!
I haven't REALLY counted my points today, I will try and do what I remember now. I have been in and out the house, digging snow, shovelling sand [we have no grit or salt] and pushing cars, and power walking through heaps of snow...
As I have been in and out, I have had a fair few small sandwiches - By this I mean two slices of WW bread, and a few slices of wafer-thin beef or ham. I would count probably 2.5 for each sandwich, but I'm not totally sure how many I had...
Breakfast was Hollyoaks Sunday Bacon Sandwich - a low fat one, so 3 points there. No time to watch Hollyoaks unfortunately!
Then I had maybe 4 of those sandwiches throughout the day... oops. Thats 10 there.
2 digestives - 2
a banana, 2 sweet waffles and some toffee sauce - 6.5
Chicken Lasagne and 2 slices of bread - 6.5
and a chunk of Edam - 2.5
I think that might have been it...? If so, that totals 30.5. A bit higher than it should be, but I spent 30 minutes on the wii this morning [aged 28 today people! +1lb according to the wii...] and then all that work outside..
I have a strategy. I need to get this under control. Today was an exceptional day, I wouldn't normally have had anywhere near that many sarnies, and have infact demolished all but 3 slices of a loaf of bread in the past 29 hours.. I need to sort this thing out! I had a teary breakdown at the fellas on saturday morning, because I had decided I was so fat and ugly that he couldn't wait to be rid of me, cos he was sick of the sight of me. All he said was "what time do you think you'll be heading off?" He wanted to know so he could check I could get my car off his drive, and he is an absolute diamond, and my head took it completely irrationally. I have pretty low confidence at the moment, in myself. It's unjustified. See, I can tell myself right at this second, I am a great person, I am a good friend, and I am not completely unfortunate looking. I am, however, fatter than I would like, and THIS is in my control, so
*I* need to fix it.
2007 - I took a complete life-changing decision and left everything I knew to start over.
2008 - I accomplished a hell of a lot, implemented 2007's decision, and I got myself going in the direction that I wanted for once.
2009 - I got the job I wanted, officially got the man I wanted, got a qualification I wanted, and finally, legally, cut all ties with the "old Jenny" by selling my house and putting the past, in the past.
2010 - If I can do all that.... there is no reason I can not stick to this healthy eating plan, and up my exercise regime. It's my life, it's my body and it's my head. No-one else is going to fix it all, I have known that for sometime now, and it is time for ME to take control. To say no.
See, I managed to give up chocolate. But have replaced it with toffee. Which is equally as addictive and unhealthy in the wrong quantities. I need to force myself to have a strict regime for a fortnight, and then I will be in the swing of it.
14 days.
That's all it will take.
The Strategy:
*20 mins of WiiFit every morning that I am at home. I can't do this at the fellas yet, but I'm saving for a second wii...
*Gym session - we'll go for 2 times a week to start, so I can work it up.
*Walk in the woods/hills - once a fortnight. I can't commit to more than this at the moment due to commitments coming up.!
*I have the Wii EA Active thing coming soon, and I am quite excited [in a holy-crap-what-have-I-let-myself-in-for!] kinda way. Once I know what that can do, I will revise the exercise plan here.
*As for food - I need to cut out the sugar. Mum is diabetic, dad is being tested for diabetes too... it's inevitable that I will get it one day, but I'd rather not have age-onset diabetes before I am 30 if I can help it.
*I need to fill up on veggies rather than bread.
*I need to plan meals rather than ready-meals. This is ok as a one off, in my book, but it's coming too much of a habit.
*And for ME - I need to STOP BUYING CLOTHES! Just cos it is in the sale, does not mean I have to HAVE it!! I need to stop buying clothes until I get into a size 18. Then I will buy me 5 outfits, and a work suit [cheap one mind..] and bin everything size 20+. I need to ebay a heck of a lot as it stands...
*And I want to dye my hair again. Brown I think this time. Time to look like a grown up..
*I have Kalms lozenges for when I feel panicky. When I feel this stupid panicky thing, I tend to binge and comfort eat. That will stop me.
*And I have chewing gum and toothpaste, so that I can stop picking...
I want to walk into that party thing on the 5th March, with Biker Boy, knowing that I look good, and that he is proud of me. I know he loves me, I know he thinks good things of me. I wish the b*stard would tell me sometimes haha, but that's neither here nor there.. I want a damn picture of us together haha.
PLEASE give me a kick up the arse when needed...