JUST FOR A LAUGH - BIT RUDE!

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by ROSB, 19 July 2007 Social URL.

  1. ROSB

    ROSB Full Member

    Posts:
    397
    Likes Received:
    15
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike "My elbow hurts like hell. I
    suppose I'd better see a Doctor!"

    Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies. "There's
    a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample
    and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It
    takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better
    than a doctor and you get Club card points".

    So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He
    deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
    sample.
    He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the
    computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
    water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began
    wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
    sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and the cat,
    and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to
    Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in
    his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer printed the following:


    1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

    2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet

    3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

    4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
    better

    Thank you for shopping at Tesco
     
    Mini likes this.
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

    Posts:
    13,431
    Likes Received:
    665
    Start Weight:
    15st3lb
    Current Weight:
    13st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st6lb(9.39%)
    Diet:
    Slim and Save
    LOL - very funny!
     
  4. itsnowornever

    itsnowornever Full Member

    Posts:
    247
    Likes Received:
    39
    Diet:
    cambridge diet
    lol thats just cheered me up
     
  5. Mochaj

    Mochaj Gold Member

    Posts:
    1,563
    Likes Received:
    61
    Diet:
    CD
    Excellent, haha!!
     
  6. Want2bThin

    Want2bThin Full Member

    Posts:
    226
    Likes Received:
    25
    Diet:
    Cambridge Diet
    hilarious! Thanks for that, i needed a laugh!
     
  7. paula 36

    paula 36 Gold Member

    Posts:
    5,640
    Likes Received:
    68
    needed thatxx:)
     
  8. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

    Posts:
    4,529
    Likes Received:
    139
  9. Carly

    Carly Member

    Posts:
    45
    Likes Received:
    1
    Diet:
    Cambridge Diet
    v. funny!!!
     
  10. spooky

    spooky Banned

    Posts:
    2,904
    Likes Received:
    166
    LMAO!!!!!
     
  11. sazzy34

    sazzy34 Gold Member

    Posts:
    1,693
    Likes Received:
    90
    Diet:
    cambridge diet / weight watchers
    pmsl
     
  12. sophie2324

    sophie2324 Full Member

    Posts:
    185
    Likes Received:
    6
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    lmao haha
     
  13. Linda5111

    Linda5111 I can do this.

    Posts:
    2,422
    Likes Received:
    165
    Diet:
    slim and save
    lol. thats v.funny.
     
  14. kazbro

    kazbro jelly belly

    Posts:
    1,469
    Likes Received:
    147
    Start Weight:
    20st5lb
    Current Weight:
    18st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st5lb(11.58%)
    Diet:
    cambridge
    [​IMG]

    kaz :D
     
  15. EllieG

    EllieG Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,173
    Likes Received:
    26
    Diet:
    Low Carb
    PMSL !!

    :rotflmao:
     
  16. ava

    ava Silver Member

    Posts:
    753
    Likes Received:
    74
    :rotflmao: very funny!
     
  17. Nessa

    Nessa Silver Member

    Posts:
    865
    Likes Received:
    49
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    ROFLMA!!!! That was great!
     
  18. Eileen

    Eileen likes posting.

    Posts:
    1,853
    Likes Received:
    84
    Diet:
    Slimming world.
    very good!
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...