libido?

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by daisydoll, 7 May 2009 Social URL.

  1. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    Hi there :eek:
    bit of a personal question here...but
    has anyone found a change in their sex drive since losing weight..?

    i thought by being a lot thinner i would be wanting a lot more - as before i put felt being overweight was a bit of a turn off.
    However, now i'm smaller than i can remember being i'm finding i really can't be bothered too much, which has surprised me!

    i'm hoping its cos being on LL and excercising doesn't leave any calories for a lot else and that when i go to RTM i will be much more up for it!!!

    just wondering if anyone else was finding things the same - or are you all at it like rabbits now you are getting thinner!?!

    daisy x :eek:
     
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  3. SexyBecks1

    SexyBecks1 is loving CWP xx

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    I'm only halfway through my weight loss and to be quite honest I haven't noticed a difference in that respect. I am hoping that when I really start to love my body that it will come.

    Maybe you are a bit out of practice. Why don't you have a romantic evening together? Or buy some sexy underwear?

    I hope it does come back when all the weight is gone as I thought that was problem as well.
     
  4. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    just reading it back sounds worse than it is!

    i guess i'm just surprised i don't feel loads better now i'm smaller, but i think its more to do with lacking the energy than not enjoying it.

    the new underwear is something i could do with - i had loads of very nice bits before - but ive tended to just buy smaller pracitcal underwear as the nice stuff can be expensive, and wanted to stabilise my weight before wasting any money on the good stuff!

    daisy x
     
  5. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

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    Still at it like rabbits.

    Can I ask, were you thin when you became pregnant? Do you have a fear of doing a yummymummy?
     
  6. rachee29

    rachee29 Full Member

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    im on last week of rtm and sorry to say my sex drive hasnt come back hoped it would just cant be bothered my friend said to me that you can just get out of the way of it and the more you do it the more you want it thankfully i have a very understanding husband
     
  7. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    ft - that is a good point, i hadn't thought of that!

    my biggest fear is getting pregnant again and i actually have a letter from my GP in my bag to get an appointment at the hospital to talk about sterilisation! ( i have had it since i went for my initial LL letter signing - i'm waiting til i'm at target so i'm healthy to have the op)

    maybe that is what it is....?

    daisy x
     
  8. Minerva

    Minerva ...passing through.

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    Sex drive, I don't think it has anything to do with weight to be honest. It's more hormonal and psychological.
    My sex drive is at an all time low now, I was actually a lot more sexually active when I was overweight! Thankfully I have an understanding boyfriend who doesn't push for it beyond just hoping and dropping hints lol. :) Having said this though, I do believe there are far more factors involved in wanting/needing sexual pleasure than weight/dietary circumstances. The mood needs to be right (which can be created), and happiness with self. .. There was a time about 2 months ago where I was so revolted with myself that I refused to let my OH even touch me, thankfully I've gone past this stage now. There are many issues that need to be resolved, and maybe relationship issues need to be addressed as well. Not issues as in 'problems' but, a change in the way you both see each other, how to make use of the changes in a positive way.

    Hmm. :)

    As for getting pregnant... Do you not take the Pill? Or in certain cases could you use protection (like a condom)? And in any case, as a precaution there is also the emergency pill to be taken 72 hours after intercourse. There are more options like the diaphragm condom thing (lol it sounds creepy !!)
     
  9. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

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    Could well be playing a little role there.

    There is nothing as liberating as knowing there is no chance at all of there being a little hiccup!!
     
  10. Honey123

    Honey123 Member

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    Mine has completely plummetted! (I'm on week 13).

    I agree with Minerva - more to it than just your weight / current food intake. And I know that my husband and I are both stressed at the moment. So it is more likely that than my weight.

    -Ally
     
  11. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    minerva
    im not on the pill - the last time i was it played havoc with me and i ended up in hospital with a suspected miscarriage (it wasn't) cos i was bleeding so much.
    it also turns me into an evil mood-swinging monster!
    and makes me put weight on depending which type i'm on

    i have had 3 kids and really don't want any more so have thought long and hard about sterilisation - am still trying to persuade hubby to get the snip, but he seems to think it will deplete his manliness or something i think! (actually i think he is just scared of the op)

    i don't fancy a coil or injections so we use condoms, which aren't the best for obvious reasons - so i reckon sterilisation is the way to go.

    each time i have got pregnant it was a one off without contraception, so i am a bit wary as i seem to fall pregnant very easily (tho maybe now i'm 40 my fertility is going down!)

    daisy x
     
  12. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    mine was an all time high just as i went onto RTM (before i found out my OH of 12 years was a liar and a cheat last month!) I felt so confident and with that I felt more attractive. I did buy some gorgeous undies from figleaves. Got the Elle Mcpherson intimates stuff which was on sale (can't resist a bargain!) Couldn't believe that my hold ups actually held up and didn't roll down under the pressure of my flabby thighs.

    I did find my libido was a bit low towards the end of absitinence and now I just can't be bothered at all (but am single so it doesn't really matter!) It returned with a vengence as soon as I started eating again though!
     
  13. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    daisy, I'm on the pill too and only started it in October last year. I've managed to keep the weight off but my mood is terrible.I'm depressed and my periods are stupidly heavy (so much so that my Dr has had to give me tranexamic acid pills for the days when it's so bad I can't even leave the house) I'm not sure if it's the pill or just my current circumstances but I do think it's really messed with my mind.

    As I say, I'm not having any sex at the moment so i'm only on it to stop me getting ovarian cysts. It's a tricky balancing act!
     
  14. PurpleButterfly

    PurpleButterfly 16lb to go!

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    Daisy, may I ask why you don't like the idea of a coil?
    I have a non-hormones one, and I think it's great. It was a bit painful in the first 12hrs maybe but apart from that I don't notice it and it means I know I can't get preggers. When I want to I'll have it taken out..
     
  15. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    i don't ellie, just don't like the idea of something'in'me.
    also i know a couple of friends who have had probs - just put me off i guess.
    i know its a bit silly and i should try it, but really don't like the idea!
    daisy x
     
  16. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    I know it's different for a guy (after all we're usually the ones who are 'up for it' 99% of the time :p ), but for what it's worth my libido hasn't really changed, except for the past few weeks as it's gone through the roof since I've been single again (you know what they say about wanting what you can't have! lol )

    Like Minerva said, the weight coming off won't simply rectify an emotional or psychological issue; fat or thin or anywhere in between, the other problems in your life will still be there waiting to be dealt with.
     
  17. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    I don't think it has much to do with being thinner. As Minerva said it'd more in the mind.
    Pretty undies are a must to make you feel better, not just to encourage hanky pannky, but they could have the desired effect.
    Daisy - try TK Maxx if you have one near you. They have some lovely designer underwear at rock bottom (lol) prices.I got such a pretty bra in there for £1.I've gor rid of all my old parachutes!!!
     
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  19. Mini_Me

    Mini_Me LighterLife Returner

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    Its not just in the mind... it is also a response your body has to being on a diet. Certainly for men this is known (lowered testosterone levels) - maybe somthing along those lines happens in women as well...

    This is also why LighterLife warn us that our hair might fall out!! The body stops re-growing our hair for the same reasons above.


    Anyway, my point is:

    Its not all in the mind - its physical and chemical as well;
    It will get back to normal - my libido was non-existant after about 5 months on LighterLife, but has since come back to normal after completing RTM (I was surprised that it was only AFTER I started eating enough calories to maintain my weight, i.e. after RTM), probably because your body's hormone levels are all back to normal then.

    So it's only temporary, don't worry :)

    references for the above: Lyle McDonald - "The Ultimate Diet 2.0" page 24

    PS: The quote above is only to show that there are chemical changes in the body when we diet - I'm not saying that all of what he says is specific to being on a LighterLife diet or anything like that
     
  20. loula

    loula Full Member

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    Daisy - you surely can't be 40!! You look about 25 in your 'Dorothy' pics!! xx
     
  21. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    loula thanks hun, you have made my day!!!
    yes i turned the big 4 0 last september - don't feel any diff to when i was 25 tho, its scarey how fast the years are slipping past!
    daisy x
     
  22. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Pmsl doing a 'yummymummy' charming :p. Anyway I did want it more when I got slimmer but I guess everyones different :)

    Emma xXx
     
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