Pilchard omelette, eh?  That's actually quite a relief.  It was much, much worse in my imagination.  ;-)
 
As for parking, there are so many idiots out there.  If I had a chocolate for the number of people I've witnessed parked along a roadside kerb, slinging wide open their car door just as another car passes by and almost knocks it off, I'd be a rich (fat and happy) woman.