Marie's Diary

[ReezieJay]

Hey everyone.

Ive been reading a few of these diaries and have really enjoyed them and most have really helped me sort out my head out. Its nice to know that im not alone.
Im really keeping this diary for myself and im hoping that if i get it all down i can possibly help others and myself if it ever comes to it in the future.
Im so glad ive found this so early on in my journey.
Ive just got back in from my second week weigh in and i cant lie i was disapointed with 4Lbs. I know i shouldnt be as ive now lost a stone in 2 weeks. WOW who would have ever thought that possible.
First week went really well and i hardly suffered at all. I got my water down easily took my 4 packs a day, didnt feel hungry at all and only had a slight headache on day 2. The first weekend was shocking i didnt think it would effect me so badly, but now ive learned that i MUST plan my weekends and keepy msyelf busy. The second weekend was much better and even though i still think and talk about food ALL the time ive been 100% so far. I even cooked my family dinner on Friday night i just love being around it.
My only problem is i have a little devil talking in my ear that i cant keep this up. Self doubt is creeping in and i cant wait to start eating again. Ive even planned out my weekly weight loss goals to get me to a healthy weight within 8 weeks. I cant imagine doing it for as long as some of you guys have. Which is 5Lbs hence the disapointment with only the 4 this week. Silly i know and at the end of the day i know this is a life changing experience and i need to keep the weight off once im at my goal. But at least i have a goal which i didnt have to start with.
1. Survive week 1-Done
2. BMI of below 30 i dont want to be known as OBESE anymore
3. Lose a stone- Done
4. Lose 2 Stone
5. Lose 3 Stone
6. BMI of below 25-Back into the healthy weight which thinking about it ive not been in for about 8 years!
7. Be possitive and keep the weight of!
Im just glad i have so many people that cant help and wont judge when things go tits up.
Were all in this together

M.J x

 

[ReezieJay]

Damn only just remembered that I havnt had my forth pack and it's too late for me to try and stomach one now. I'm hoping that this once it won't make much of a difference. So far it seems that everyone struggles with all 4 packs. Why can't they just add slightly more to each one so you can just have 3? Although I supose on some days you do need that last one.
Odd how I feel guilty or feel like I've cheated somehow by missing 1 pack in 14 days. God knows what I'd be like if I acrually ate something!
X

 

[ReezieJay]

Ok so start of day 15 going well so far. Enjoyed the porridge makes a nice change from all the shakes as I've gone off the soups completly.
Setting myself a daily target to get as much water down my neck as possible to try and up the weight loss as this is all everyone seems to go on about. The more you drink the more you lose
Fingers crossed it works x

 

[Gembritney]

How much water are you drinkin xx

 

[dale]

MJ, you've done really well to lose a stone in 2 weeks so celebrate that and take each day as it comes. You've managed to stick to it (unlike some of us ) really well for 2 weeks, all you need to do is carry on and take it a week at a time - you can rely on regular weight loss every week on LL and that is a great motivator. Well done, you! :flowers:

 

[Gembritney]

Dale how are u managing at the mo... u back on track? either way...i hope ur well xx

 

[ReezieJay]

Hi Gem my first week I was comfortably drinking around 3ltrs a day but week two was a disaster. Lucky if I drank 2ltrs and even less at the weekend. Today I'm back on track and on my 3rd ltr. I'd like to try more but I think this is the best I can do.
Dale thanks and I know your right. But i hope your not beating yourself up. You've also had a great loss even with the little slip and your only human.
I've woken up this morning with a lot of motivation but as the day has gone on my little devil is slowly burrowing into my head that I WANT and NEED food. It doesn't help that i can smell the food my family is cooking. I keep looking to my mum to turn around and say it's ok, just have this one meal it won't hurt. But thankfully she hasn't and reminded me how well I've done so far.
It's only 8 weeks of my life where a single piece of food won't pass my lips but why does it have to feel like an eternity.
On the up side I'm really looking forward to planning and preparing some really nice healthy meals once I switch to lite. I'm not feeling strong right now but I'm feeling strong about coming out on the other side of this happier, healthier and more determined than ever...it is easy to say that now though
X

 

[MagdaX]

It does get better with time Hun. Food will always be there and you can have it but not now. It really is as simple as that
You're doing very well babe. You remind me of me when I first started my journey

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[ReezieJay]

That's a great compliment. I'd be proud to get to the point your at. So for me to remind you of yourself at the start I'm chuffed to bits
I have a few things planned for April tho. Most of my weekends will involve eating and drinking. I'm just hoping that I will be strong enough by then to make the right choices and not go overboard. And if I do I hope I can make sure that I can get right back on track and not let it ruin my figure lol
I hope that people won't think less of me coz I have already chosen to eat in April and I hope it's not a sign of weakness or failure but at the end of the day I'm doing this for me and I supose I can't worry about what others think but I am determined to suceed and I WILL x

 

[dale]

Thanks MJ and Gem - yes I am very much back on track and feeling confident I can do this. It really helps having the support from you and hearing about your great motivation - lots of positive vibes around!

 

[MagdaX]

I hope that people won't think less of me coz I have already chosen to eat in April and I hope it's not a sign of weakness or failure but at the end of the day I'm doing this for me and I supose I can't worry about what others think but I am determined to suceed and I WILL x

Hun! Who cares what other people think! It's YOUR life and YOUR journey! If you choose to eat then it's your choice as long as you're happy with it and make sure you stick to a healthy choice and be back on track straight after.
Some people choose to stay abstinent during the whole program, some don't. Simples
Doing Lite for that time might be an option for you!

 

[ReezieJay]

Thanks. I feel like I should always be looking for aproval, but that's got to change.
I've just been speaking to my ex who didn't even like me doing slim fast at one point so I've just been called stupid and that I'm not doing my body any good blah blah blah. And to start with I felt like he was right and I was stupid but I quickly turned that around and was confident in telling him the pros to it and your right I should care what anyone thinks Expecially the EX! And now I feel really good and more determined to prove him wrong!
I think I will be looking at going onto lite after 8 weeks anyway and hopefully lose a little more after that.
Good advise tho at least I can try and control it a little that way
X

 

[ReezieJay]

Well it's day 16 for me and just an average day. Apart from one little development. I hate mushrooms but today my brain decided to tell me 'once I can start eating again, I'm going to try a mushroom' ...why?I have no idea and the more time I've actually been thinking about it I'm suprisingly still open to the idea...for now. It may be a different story when I'm actually presented with this horrid looking grey thing.
X

 

[Pearl77]

I hate mushrooms too, I'm on day five and they still don't look appealing, although I was salivating over a green pepper the other day, I'm not a fan of those either x

Sent from my iPhone using minimins

 

[Gembritney]

its funny what foods we tend to yearn after whilst we are on programme... i think of foods i prob wouldnt touch if i wasnt on programme lol xx

 

[ReezieJay]

It is very strange why i would want to try something i know i dont like, but then again its been along time since i did try them. One thing is for sure Lighterlife is opening up new doors. I think its because your not getting any food at all Gem that even the food you dont like suddenly becomes apealing. You will have to let me know when you get to day 16 Pearl if youve suddenly developed any food day dreams lol

Day 17
Family all had a Chinese and im in a good mood today and i was happy to sit there and watch them eat it. I even grabbed my brothers plate a couple of times to get a good close up sniff. I dont really know if i would recomend this to everyone as it is a bit of a tourmenter but if i smell it enough i can imagine actually eating it pretty well. Other days however i do get very snappy and dont want anyone near me with food. I definatley prefer days like today. i dont like being moody.
Today i have decided to prepare WELL in advance for LLL, by finding some of my favourite recipes from this website and the LLforum and making a note of them. 1. It keeps me busy and 2. I'll have no excuse when it comes to it that im not ready and i dont know what to cook etc, etc... I may be looking too far into the future but its helping me out. Helps forget out the lack of food of today and think about the nice HEALTHY meals of the future
Currently testing out a new way of having a shake. I know in the LL book you can make ice-cream by just using ice cubes rather than water but i think that turned out pretty poorly. So today ive made my Choc shake like normal and stuck it in the freezer. Dunno how its gonna taste, prob just like a frozen shake but variety is much needed.

 

[ReezieJay]

Update on my icecream, much better than using the ice. I didnt quite leave it in the freezer long enough so it was find of like a frozen over lake but it was actually really nice. Ice on the top and freezing cold choc liquid in the middle. Will be doing this again

 

[ReezieJay]

So its Friday, the night to chill out and relax from the weeks work stress. Oh not not me! I get a flat on the way home and have to call out the RAC. Thought my prayers had been answered when i was told the lovely man will be 45mins and he turns up in 5 But no! The tyre is F***ed and i need a new one. Only the garage nearby is closed and the next one doesnt have the tyres i need. SO i have to go for the more expensive Run Flat ones...but no i cant just get the 1 as that would be illegal so had to get 2! £300 later and on my journey home sat in the pasenger seat is my good tyre that i now need to try and sell...or keep in the garage incase one of the back tyres gets a puncture and i cant help but think 'I NEED A DRINK' it wasnt just the money and the wait and inconvienience that was getting me stressed. But the phone call from my DAD thinking he is ALL knowing telling me im a MUG and there taking me for all my money because im a WOMAN!!! This infuriates me more than anything and the thought of ONE drink turns to MANY...Reflecting back ive said my peice to my dad informing him im NOT some stupid Female. I am capable of making my own decisions and the fact that im a WOMAN had nothing to do with it. The garage the RAC man was on the phone to didnt have a clue whether i was male, female, black, white, blonde, brown, fat or thin. SO THERE!! Still want that drink BIG TIME but i will resist. Need to find another way to relax
RANT OVER

 

[ReezieJay]

I've just done a little feux pax and gone and weighed myself! Why did I do it? I literally spend about 10 mins searching for the scales which my mum perpously hid from me so I couldn't do just this. I was hoping to be plesently supprised but can't help feeling a little disapointed. My weigh Ins are on a Monday and I've lost 3lbs so far acording to my scales. I think I came into this with much higher expectations. I think I need to change my mindset. At least it's going down right? But this much weight loss. Can't it just be achieved my a healthy diet and excercise? Bar week one I don't think I'll get excited about my weight loss again. Need to dig some motivation out of something
Sorry guys I know I'm being really idiotic, but I was hoping for 5lbs a week. After last weeks results I've moved my goals to 4lbs a week. Fingers crossed on another 1lb loss over the weekend. I don't want to drop my expectations again

 

[ReezieJay]

Day 19
As it's Saturday and I know what unplanned or unbusy weekends are like I've keep myself moving all day. After breakfast 'porrige, which I'm really enjoying and might even have twice a day next week' I got ready and went out and cleaned my car. After that a trip into town and it was my lucky day as a £20 of boots I was getting turned out to only be £10 when I got to the till. LOVE it when this happened. Had a little poodle round the shops. Got a union jack pillow for the back of my mini and some silk flowers for my room. Popped into blockbusters to see if they had any good offers on and spotted the pick and mix. Had a good look but quickly walked off and out of the shop back into the sunshine. It's times like this I realise how much money I would prob spend on crap. No doubt if I wasn't doing this plan I most definatly would have grabbed a scoop and filled a cup up happily.
Back home and cracked on with a bit of housework and only just sat down. It's been a good day and I'm really pleased. Time to chill out now. Paint my nails. May even have a bath and then relax with a hot choc and a good film
Now what to do to keep me busy tonorrow haha