Gembritney
Silver Member
Dont weight urself at home.... its so hard but dont do it! lol wait til WI!!!! xxxx
Marie's Diary
- Thread starter ReezieJay
- Start date
ReezieJay
Full Member
I know I shouldn't Gem just couldn't help myself. And I tried to do it again this morning but my mums moved them into a much better going spot and after 15 mins of searching this morning I resigned myself to the fact that they are well and truely hiden so looks like I'll have to be patient 
I should be told off more lol
I should be told off more lol
Gembritney
Silver Member
Good ol Mum!!! and also remember they may read differently to the LL scales.... so u may not be being read the true digits xx:character00201:
ReezieJay
Full Member
This is very true. All if which I already k ow but still can't help myself but like you said good ol' mum lol damn her haha. Oh well weigh day tonorrow. I find them so nerve wracking. I know I've been 100% but still worry I won't lose anything. I feel like I have ab exam u havnt prepared for enough and can't help thinking I could have done something better. Stupid self doubt!!
ReezieJay
Full Member
Day 21 and Weigh Day.
Nervous about getting weighed as usual. I did the naughty thing again this morning and weighed myself. The scales said -5 so i know its going to be less than that this evening. Really hoping that by tonight i will only be a lb heavier. ]
On the upside things are getting easier. Im thinkin about food less and less but i cant deny it is still the main thought process. But its not the Only one anymore.
Valentines Day today and being single its a little depressing. Not that when i did have a partner he never once got me anything.
This is the sort of day i would definatly be eating to comfort myself tho, cheer me up. So glad that i have class today and when i get home ill pamper myself better than any man could.
But Happy Valentines to all the lovely people on here
Nervous about getting weighed as usual. I did the naughty thing again this morning and weighed myself. The scales said -5 so i know its going to be less than that this evening. Really hoping that by tonight i will only be a lb heavier. ]
On the upside things are getting easier. Im thinkin about food less and less but i cant deny it is still the main thought process. But its not the Only one anymore.
Valentines Day today and being single its a little depressing. Not that when i did have a partner he never once got me anything.
This is the sort of day i would definatly be eating to comfort myself tho, cheer me up. So glad that i have class today and when i get home ill pamper myself better than any man could.
But Happy Valentines to all the lovely people on here
ReezieJay
Full Member
The results are in and I'm -3lbs. I am happy. I really cant complain but I can't lie and say I'm not disapointed coz I am. My plan was 5 a week then when I got 4 last week I'd be happy with 4 every week. 3 seems a little measly. Less than half a pound a day. But I'm possitive. I'm gonna carry on and hold my head high coz I know I've worked hard for those 3lbs. And that is 3lbs I'll never see again. So what if it takes me a little longer to get to goal. I've got the rest of my life to enjoy!
ReezieJay
Full Member
Ah dale. Gutted for you hunny. I think we come into this with such high expectations we expect miracles. Unfortunatly it took us years to gain the weight and we also want a quick fix. I have been disapointed with my loss so far but I was under the impression I would lose half a stone every week. Getting over that now and the old way is down from here in out. Besides others have stuggled so much more than me I should be happy with a 3 and if I get a 2 next week I'll be happy with that too (kinda) lol
Here's to drinking much more water and a great weight loss next week. Stay possitive. That's all we can do
Here's to drinking much more water and a great weight loss next week. Stay possitive. That's all we can do
Gembritney
Silver Member
well done joy! xx
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
You know what. Even though we are all doing the same diet each one of us goes through it in their own way. We all carry our own cross (sorry if it sounds too biblical lol) and that's good! We can all learn from each other and get stronger together!
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
ReezieJay
Full Member
Thanks mags I agree. That's why I'm so happy to have this site and all you guys. My biggest problem is I don't know what my cross is made of. I'm hoping I find out in the next module. The easier I can identify with my issues the easier I can control my inpulses rather than automatically act on them.
I mean if it's free I can't say no lol if I'm offered or persuaded (very easily may I add) then I can't say no. I rely on other people to tell me it's ok to eat something even if I KNOW it's not and I dunno why. I need to take responsibility for my own actions and stop blaming others. Apart from that I dunno what my issues with food are.
But like you said mags this is all our own journey and we have to make our own way but there is no harm in stopping occastionally for directions
I mean if it's free I can't say no lol if I'm offered or persuaded (very easily may I add) then I can't say no. I rely on other people to tell me it's ok to eat something even if I KNOW it's not and I dunno why. I need to take responsibility for my own actions and stop blaming others. Apart from that I dunno what my issues with food are.
But like you said mags this is all our own journey and we have to make our own way but there is no harm in stopping occastionally for directions
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
Completely! And I'm so glad I reached out for help this morning!
If it wasn't for that and you all I'd probably given up on LL as off today!
The thing is even though I know what my 'cross' is I'm still unable to control it.
As for you I am pretty sure you will find out why you're overeating. Sooner or later it manifests itself.
Would you happen to still live with your parents by any chance?
Not saying that might be the reason but the inability to say no and the urge to please others is common with people who have a strong bond with their family.
If you can get it please buy a book called Women Food and God. It's revolutionary. In fact I just realised I stopped reading it a few weeks ago due to lack of time.
Must get back to it right away!
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
If it wasn't for that and you all I'd probably given up on LL as off today!
The thing is even though I know what my 'cross' is I'm still unable to control it.
As for you I am pretty sure you will find out why you're overeating. Sooner or later it manifests itself.
Would you happen to still live with your parents by any chance?
Not saying that might be the reason but the inability to say no and the urge to please others is common with people who have a strong bond with their family.
If you can get it please buy a book called Women Food and God. It's revolutionary. In fact I just realised I stopped reading it a few weeks ago due to lack of time.
Must get back to it right away!
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
ReezieJay
Full Member
Yeah i do still live with them actually. And you could be right. I am always trying to please others and make others happy. Its strange how this process doesnt just help with eating. Ive suddenly got the drive to do more for myself and go for what i want and not let others stand in my way.
Im trying to find a way to move out but money is an issue and its pretty comfortable at home so im getting lazy. I need to push myself. I want so many new things for me and no one else. I spent the last 2 and half years in a relationship that wasnt going anywhere. Coz i was trying to please him and make him happy i forgot what i wanted. Now that im on my own its time to face facts. I am a grown woman i can care and look after myself and put me first.
I want a new job
I want to move out
I want a new group of friends so moving away from where i live would be nice to meet new people
I want to join a Netball team
I want to do more
I want to not be scared to do more
This is a trip of self discovery and i will check out that book as every little helps.
At least you know your issues so you know what your fighting against, although i think i would be the same even if i knew what my problems were i wouldnt be able to change.
Dont they say that people never change?
Im trying to find a way to move out but money is an issue and its pretty comfortable at home so im getting lazy. I need to push myself. I want so many new things for me and no one else. I spent the last 2 and half years in a relationship that wasnt going anywhere. Coz i was trying to please him and make him happy i forgot what i wanted. Now that im on my own its time to face facts. I am a grown woman i can care and look after myself and put me first.
I want a new job
I want to move out
I want a new group of friends so moving away from where i live would be nice to meet new people
I want to join a Netball team
I want to do more
I want to not be scared to do more
This is a trip of self discovery and i will check out that book as every little helps.
At least you know your issues so you know what your fighting against, although i think i would be the same even if i knew what my problems were i wouldnt be able to change.
Dont they say that people never change?
ReezieJay
Full Member
Day 22
As i was a little disapointed with my WI last night i cant expect to just sit on my bum and expect to lose loads. Even tho im not planning on any exercise i think the real challenge is this bloody WATER! I find this part harder than not eating. But day 1 of maximum water input has begun and so far so good. Just hope i can keep it up!
I have recently begun to develop a very powerful and loud inner voice and find myself talking to myself A LOT!
Always making plans and target each day and my mind doesnt let me rest till its satisfied. I know i keep banging on about this weight loss but i now know the reason. I started this journey with my boss who has done LL before and lost a lot of weight in about 10 weeks. Its not her fault as she only has her own experience to go on but ive started out thinking i will lose half a stone every week. Clearly that is never going to happen. I had only just flipped into the Obese category when i started and after 3 weeks im already back into being just plain old overweight. Thats one acomplishment right there to be damn proud of. I need to learn to give myself a break and not beat myself up. I need to have a little more confidence in myself. A little more self belief and im fed up of not thinking im bloody good enough for anything!
Im constantly worried about what people think. For example on here when i first joined i was scared, like i was intruding on peoples lives. People i dont know and i felt like i had no right to come on here and start offering advice and start moaning about my own problems. Im even worried now that people are reading my diary and thinking ' shut up you stupid cow, you have no idea what problems are'. Since the break up with my long term boyfriend i have even lost all confidence in myself and when people show an interest i put on a front and push them away coz im so bloody terrified that its a joke, a bet etc. I need to change this image of myself and what im more worried about than anything in the world is that right now i have this mask. i can hide behind the 'Fat' card. Being fat is my excuse. What happens when that mask has gone and its just me standing alone with my real face on show. What excuse can i then give for my self loathing. Why do i not think im not good enough? I am a great person. A great friend i was even a great girlfriend but it never seems to be enough and im so worried that this wont ever change no matter what i look like. Right now i have my weight to blame but is all my thoughts and feeling about myself just going to disapear with those Lbs?? I dont think so.
These next few months isnt just about changing my body. I need to change my mind and how i see myself. I need to believe in myself and trust in others and if i get hurt along the way i'll just have to hold my head high and carry on. I cant carry on life holding my head in shame.
As i was a little disapointed with my WI last night i cant expect to just sit on my bum and expect to lose loads. Even tho im not planning on any exercise i think the real challenge is this bloody WATER! I find this part harder than not eating. But day 1 of maximum water input has begun and so far so good. Just hope i can keep it up!
I have recently begun to develop a very powerful and loud inner voice and find myself talking to myself A LOT!
Always making plans and target each day and my mind doesnt let me rest till its satisfied. I know i keep banging on about this weight loss but i now know the reason. I started this journey with my boss who has done LL before and lost a lot of weight in about 10 weeks. Its not her fault as she only has her own experience to go on but ive started out thinking i will lose half a stone every week. Clearly that is never going to happen. I had only just flipped into the Obese category when i started and after 3 weeks im already back into being just plain old overweight. Thats one acomplishment right there to be damn proud of. I need to learn to give myself a break and not beat myself up. I need to have a little more confidence in myself. A little more self belief and im fed up of not thinking im bloody good enough for anything!
Im constantly worried about what people think. For example on here when i first joined i was scared, like i was intruding on peoples lives. People i dont know and i felt like i had no right to come on here and start offering advice and start moaning about my own problems. Im even worried now that people are reading my diary and thinking ' shut up you stupid cow, you have no idea what problems are'. Since the break up with my long term boyfriend i have even lost all confidence in myself and when people show an interest i put on a front and push them away coz im so bloody terrified that its a joke, a bet etc. I need to change this image of myself and what im more worried about than anything in the world is that right now i have this mask. i can hide behind the 'Fat' card. Being fat is my excuse. What happens when that mask has gone and its just me standing alone with my real face on show. What excuse can i then give for my self loathing. Why do i not think im not good enough? I am a great person. A great friend i was even a great girlfriend but it never seems to be enough and im so worried that this wont ever change no matter what i look like. Right now i have my weight to blame but is all my thoughts and feeling about myself just going to disapear with those Lbs?? I dont think so.
These next few months isnt just about changing my body. I need to change my mind and how i see myself. I need to believe in myself and trust in others and if i get hurt along the way i'll just have to hold my head high and carry on. I cant carry on life holding my head in shame.
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
OMG reading this is like reading my own words...
Spooky!!!
Hun, your opinion does matter! To all of us but first and foremost, to you! That is what counts...
It's a long process which takes time and a lot of self analysis. I used to be exactly like you (maybe I still am a little).
Putting everyone else first, thinking of others, trying to please them, make them happy. I was constantly looking for acceptance, appreciation, positive strokes...
At the end I became the one who was left behind because I forgot about myself.
The bottom line is... we HAVE to love ourselves first. Once we do that, everything else will follow.
Hard to do, I know, I'm still working on it but I know that once I fully accept myself truly for who I am and LOVE myself unconditionally, everything will be alright!
Hun, that applies to you and every one of us on here! Look at SB and BL. Those two women are an inspiration! And they both practice and preach self affirmation on a daily basis!
We spent so much time.. years, hating on ourselves, loathing the way we look, the way we act, how it makes us feel. I am realising as I'm typing this how absolutely ridiculous it is! What on earth.....
Why do we find it so easy to hate and so so difficult to love ourselves!
Everyday I become more and more aware that this is it. That IS my life! It's not a rehersal! Do I really want to spend any minute longer projecting negative thought and feelings?
HELL TO THE NO!!!
Enough...
Spooky!!!
Hun, your opinion does matter! To all of us but first and foremost, to you! That is what counts...
It's a long process which takes time and a lot of self analysis. I used to be exactly like you (maybe I still am a little).
Putting everyone else first, thinking of others, trying to please them, make them happy. I was constantly looking for acceptance, appreciation, positive strokes...
At the end I became the one who was left behind because I forgot about myself.
The bottom line is... we HAVE to love ourselves first. Once we do that, everything else will follow.
Hard to do, I know, I'm still working on it but I know that once I fully accept myself truly for who I am and LOVE myself unconditionally, everything will be alright!
Hun, that applies to you and every one of us on here! Look at SB and BL. Those two women are an inspiration! And they both practice and preach self affirmation on a daily basis!
We spent so much time.. years, hating on ourselves, loathing the way we look, the way we act, how it makes us feel. I am realising as I'm typing this how absolutely ridiculous it is! What on earth.....
Why do we find it so easy to hate and so so difficult to love ourselves!
Everyday I become more and more aware that this is it. That IS my life! It's not a rehersal! Do I really want to spend any minute longer projecting negative thought and feelings?
HELL TO THE NO!!!
Enough...
ReezieJay
Full Member
Wow. I almost started crying. Eyes welling up with tears. I also find that even tho I long for possitive stokes from others which your absoluty right I do, To feel like I've proved myself worthy of There time and aceptance I still don't do well recieving compliments or apraisal. I shrug it off like they are just saying it to be nice and it's not true.
I accept myself for who I am and how I feel about myself and I WANT to change. I want to be able to love myself but I don't know how. But at least I know now and I can work on it.
Thank you so much mags for your kind words and a bit of a slap round the face. I need it. This girl is gonna take a lot of work.
Hmmm how to love yourself??? Very good question. Which I don't know how to answer just yet.
I accept myself for who I am and how I feel about myself and I WANT to change. I want to be able to love myself but I don't know how. But at least I know now and I can work on it.
Thank you so much mags for your kind words and a bit of a slap round the face. I need it. This girl is gonna take a lot of work.
Hmmm how to love yourself??? Very good question. Which I don't know how to answer just yet.
ReezieJay
Full Member
Well ok it wasnt really a slap, more a gentle shake lol. But its good. Like i said i needed it!
Day 23
Already feeling better. I was even complimented this morning but unfortuatley i reverted to my usual ways and shrugged it off and dismissed the compliment by saying well i feel like S*it
I need to catch myself next time i do that and just accept it and say thanks lol.
But as ive just wrote that a mate has just complimented my small waist and ive again instantly drawn attention away from the compliment and critisied my Hips for being big! Why?? I just cant stop myself!
Feeling a bit rubbish today. Recently been getting dizzy and yesterday and today felt a little sicky. Dont think its anything to do with the plan and more likely some kind of bug going round. Just need to relax i think for a few days. Nothing much to report today really apart from feeling pants and a little tired.
Water intake is good so far so lets hope this makes a difference. I swear i could smell a hot cross bun earlier think its my sences playing tricks on me. And also discovered i will be missing out on pancake day On the upside ive already got a 'slave' and a friend is going to cook me a lovely meal when i move onto LLL How exciting. I am def only staying on Total for 8 weeks. So 5 weeks remain. I am a little worried that my will power will be easily waviered. Need to find the strength now and keep hold of it
Day 23
Already feeling better. I was even complimented this morning but unfortuatley i reverted to my usual ways and shrugged it off and dismissed the compliment by saying well i feel like S*it
I need to catch myself next time i do that and just accept it and say thanks lol.
But as ive just wrote that a mate has just complimented my small waist and ive again instantly drawn attention away from the compliment and critisied my Hips for being big! Why?? I just cant stop myself!
Feeling a bit rubbish today. Recently been getting dizzy and yesterday and today felt a little sicky. Dont think its anything to do with the plan and more likely some kind of bug going round. Just need to relax i think for a few days. Nothing much to report today really apart from feeling pants and a little tired.
Water intake is good so far so lets hope this makes a difference. I swear i could smell a hot cross bun earlier think its my sences playing tricks on me. And also discovered i will be missing out on pancake day
On the upside ive already got a 'slave' and a friend is going to cook me a lovely meal when i move onto LLL How exciting. I am def only staying on Total for 8 weeks. So 5 weeks remain. I am a little worried that my will power will be easily waviered. Need to find the strength now and keep hold of it
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
Feel better soon my darling!
And if these boobs of yours are anything like that pic in real life then you might just have the prefect desired by men and envied by women figure!
Tiny waist, curves up, curves down! Coca-Cola bottle shape right there!!!
(jealous as I lost my boobies almost completely)
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
And if these boobs of yours are anything like that pic in real life then you might just have the prefect desired by men and envied by women figure!
Tiny waist, curves up, curves down! Coca-Cola bottle shape right there!!!
(jealous as I lost my boobies almost completely)
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
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