millinery, motherhood and the little black dress ..

[yoyo_queen]

ok, so im the wrong side of 40, around 15 stone (when did that happen?) mum to a 13 yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy.
i recently split from my husband, he forgot to pay the mortgage for 6 months and we were repossessed - myself and the children are now living in temporary accommodation waiting to be rehoused

ive had to give up the part time job i loved as its too far to travel to so now have lots of time on my hands, id say around 2 stone of my weight has gone on with the stress of the last few months and comfort eating - ive just been eating my self silly, i dont recognise myself in the mirror anymore and i feel so depressed.
all in all 2012 has been a pretty bleak year all round ..

however always the optimist, the new year is almost upon us and im looking at it as an opportunity to finally re-invent myself, spurred on by the amazing before/after pics in this months slimming world magazine ive decided to finally tackle my weight problem once and for all and plan to start food optimising first thing in the morning.

at 43 yrs young i know im going to be the oldest mum at the school gate, i dont want to be the largest one too .. i dont want my little boy to feel embarassed of me when i pick him up.
i want to do so much with him, swimming, riding bikes, camping etc i missed out on so much with my daughter, i think i have probably only been swimming with her once, life is for living not watching from the sidelines, so i have a few goals to work towards there also

ive also decided to try and fulfill my dreams of a career as a milliner .. ive lined up an interview at college to start a millinery course in feb (fingers crossed for me!) first port of call is the hairdressers for a trendy new haircut (need to save some pennies first!) i dont want to be the token fat and frumpy mature student!

im not putting a time limit on any of my goals, that never works for me .. the back end of 2015 when my little boy starts schools seems quite realistic, and i shall wear a gorgeous little black dress to the launch party of my millinery business, so here goes ..

 

[yoyo_queen]

day 1 - EE

bfast - banana, cpl plums
lunch - wholemeal bacon sarnie (small loaf)
dinner - spaghetti, meatballs, dolmio sauce, mixed veg
milk - s/skim in tea and coffee
snacks/treats - 2 french fancies, 3/4 bar caramac

estimated syns - spread 2, dolmio sauce 5, french fancies 6, caramac 5 = approx 18

taking the scenic route, so more than happy with todays food intake - hell of a lot less than would normally be for a saturday
quiet day doing housework, watching film with my daughter, got niggly pain and strange pressure sensation to right hand side of my abdomen .. bit worried, made the mistake of *googling* my symptoms ha ha and came up with all sorts, im wondering if its an ovarian cyst .. will see doc next week if not gone within next cpl days x

 

[Texty_F]

Hi yo yo good luck on your journey to a new you, and fingers crossed for your small business venture. You have had a turbulent year to say the least so hope 2013 is a better one for you.

I don't know what make your french fancies were but Mr Kipling are 5 1/2 each so thats 10syns, a full caramac is 9syns, I dont know how much of your sauce you had but possibly more than 5 syns worth. S W recommend 1/3 superfree food with each meal ie lots of veg or fruit. Your milk and bread will be your a and b choices. It may help if you post a diary and then people can look at what your having and then help/advise, if your doing s w on your own from home.

I used to guesstimate with WW and got nowhere - maybe just an idea to try and syn things properly rather than guessing. Im not trying to put a downer on your day just trying to help

 

[Lindsey Lou x]

Good for you, looking to the future and making things happen for yourself. I put a lot of my weight on after i split from the father of my children (12 & 6) I'm also in my second year at university & i think being overweight does make it harder to make friends. It sounds silly because i'm a very outgoing person but i think people judge you and being overweight seems to be such a stigma these days. Good luck with SW i think it's really manageable and you never feel hungry

 

[yoyo_queen]

hi texty f .. woops, i guess ive just done my first *flexible syns* day ha ha .. thank you for your advice, totally appreciate what your'e saying, i shall have to choose more carefully, didnt quite realise french fancies were so high! for the moment though im going to follow sw loosely until rehoused when i will join a group, its hard atm to do it properly, theyve housed me in the back of beyond - closest shop is an hours walk away (dont drive) which i do make an effort to do but with the buggy hard to bring back heavy things like fresh fruit/veg (not an excuse - honest!) unfortunately none of the supermarkets deliver here so hard to stick to sw *properly* i just thought would try and do damage limitation before joining when we move - have deffinately eaten lot less than i would do usually so happy bunny x

 

[yoyo_queen]

hi lindsey lou, thanks for your encouraging words. what are you studying at uni? must admit im really nervous about starting out again, course starts end feb would like to get at least 1 stone off by then, just dont want to feel like a fat frump when no doubt most of the others on the course will be trendy young things lol

thats if i get accepted on the course ha ha

 

[Texty_F]

Good for you and I admire your determination. Dont ever be frightened to ask for help/advice were all here to support each other on our journey however long it may take. Could you do a big ish shop maybe once every 2 weeks and keep all your cupboard staples in and maybe some meat in the freezer and use a taxi to get home? I know this may not be possible due to finances/budgets but just a thought. Try batch cooking and freezing meals by making bigger portions. Then you always have a meal to hand.

 

[yoyo_queen]

hi texty f
thank you for your suggestion, something i'll do once we've been rehoused
i have the added problem of no oven, just a hob top and small ice box in the fridge - as this is temp accommation for emergencies it has just the basics, have had a nightmare trying to cook healthy meals on a hob top .. think we ate nothing but pasta and soup for the first week
funny though, i love jacket potatoes and as not able to bake them atm been craving them, lol .. my friend couldnt stop laughing when i got excited that there were jackets on the menu when took the kids to tumble tots the other week!
as i say, im trying to do damage limitation for the moment .. think ive put on a lot of weight whilst here just eating the wrong foods and overeating out of boredom, stress etc
once we've been rehoused (approx 3 weeks hopefully) i shall start following the plan properly, but thanks for pointing out the high syn values in couple of the things i ate today, think better invest in a food directory x

 

[Texty_F]

Awww well I hope its sooner rather than later for you and then you can get settled. Meanwhile your doing right with damage limitation keep posting so that we can see how your doing. x

 

[yoyo_queen]

day 2 (although its now actually day 3 lol)

nearly never wrote an entry for sunday, was going to miss a day but have decided to keep an honest diary to try and understand where and why i go wrong
i never slept a wink saturday night, i was in absolute agony and spent the whole night on the internet trying to self diagnose what the horrendous pain in my right side could be .. not a good idea @ 3 in the morning, had already written my will by 5 oc lol
needless to i say wasnt in the right frame of mind to food optimise the following say (sun) so just ate what i fancied, not beating myself up over it .. i still managed to eat less than i would ordinarilly ... sunday night is usually *goodies* night, a habbit im trying to break for my kids sake as well as mine, eating loads of crisps, chocolates and cakes in one fail swoop is not good, its pretty disgusting and i dont want to set them up for a life time of weight problems also, so need to ween us all off the *goodies* night!

so here goes eeep!

bfast - banana
lunch - 2 quarter triangle chicken sandwich in wholemeal, large bag crinkle cut crisps
dinner - 3/4 of a med size cheese pizza, 3 med size cold roast potatoes
3 mince pies with cream (oh the shame!)

tea - s/skim in milk and tea
snacks / treats - about 6 small pieces nougat

no point counting syns, its off the scales but ordinarilly i would have had much bigger breakfast, and possibly a roast although possibly not that amt of pizza and 3 mince pies, lol - in my mind i think i thought id been *good* first part of the day so felt it was ok to eat 3 mince pies .. regretted it later, lol

 

[Texty_F]

Oh dear pain isnt good you should have called the NHS helpline, self diagnosing is never good. I hope your feeling better now? I think you already know you had gone well over your syns, but at least you are being honest and realising where your going wrong. I think the sooner you get into your own place the better you will follow the plan. Stay positive and keep posting