Miss-tri's Diary

[miss-tri]

1/02/11

I did go out with friends but we didnt eat in at a food place, they decided to take out so whilst they got burgers i got a chicken and sweetcorn sandwhich from a shop as i told them i didnt fancy a burger (they dont know im dieting and no they didnt notice i had got any thinner hopefully they will do when iv lost a stone!) so im proud of myself for doing that, the fries looked so YUM! but i still said no, also got diet coke bottle and a packet of crisps but havent ate them! so all in all, iv done well methinks! had a brilliant day but kept to my limits! dont know how many calories the sandwhich was however and i would have liked to know but oh well

tommorow its back to the gym, dont feel like going to be honest but know i have to if i want to get to my desired weight anytime soon so will be going!

for dinner i had 1 nan and chicken curry

 

[miss-tri]

2/02/11

not feeling very good about myself today. just feeling stressed out/ weary/annoyed/upset and many more negative things... i looked in the mirror today and i just looked so fat! in fact i looked in like 4/5 different mirrors (self obsessed much) and i just felt EURGH when i looked at each and every one of them. im on my third week and i should be getting slimmer but im starting to feel fatter... just feel sooo FED UP. im not going to stop because i know thats not going to help. il binge and feel worse and il be back to square 1 and i really dont want that. 4 days to weigh in and im not expecting any significant loss, in fact i wouldnt be surprised if i have gained cos thats what it feels like. i havent messed my diet up though and i have been doing abit exercise eventhough today i cant say i did much.. 20 mins walking on threadmill.. and i feel F A T and sickening and repulsive to my own self and no doubt to others too. not a nice feeling. tommorow i might just skip the gym and have a rest but i know that i need to do my exercise because il be more upset when i dont get a loss or a good one on monday. so not sure what to do just hope im feeling better about myself tommorow! :sigh:

 

[miss-tri]

3/02/11

so i didnt go to the gym today :sigh: thought i deserved a rest plus iv got blisters on my foot still not feeling very happy or optimistic today and it obviously doesnt help that im not doing any exercise. i think as of next week im going to be more strict with myself so as to speed up my weight loss because im feeling very down about it. last week i was strict with myself and did plenty of exercise and managed to lose 5lbs and id love losses like that every week so i think i should follow the more strict approach.

Today so far iv ate half a weatabix with plenty of milk.

 

[elm]

I agree, losing 5lbs every week would be amazing!

I hope it gets better for you!

 

[miss-tri]

Thankyou! i hope so too!

 

[miss-tri]

3/02/11

Iv messed my diet up!!! I ate waaay too much. granted it was just tuna and peas but it had so much oil in it and i ate sooo much of it!!!!! really disappointed in myself!! this has not been a good week! think i need to go gym tommorow to make up for it somewhat. not happy about giving in!

 

[miss-tri]

4/02/11

didnt go to gym today oh well monday onwards i will be!

so far today iv ate

3 cream crackers
1 tangerine
1 promegranate

 

[miss-tri]

5/02/11

Todays been an ok-ish day. iv realised that although i dont feel particularly thin today i am getting used to this idea of healthy eating as not just something im going to do to lose weight but something thats a life change. If i mess my 'diet' up im just going to make up for it by eating less/even more healthier and more portion controlled or better yet, with more exercise. This healthy eatings really making me more conscious about food and helping me make better changes and i hope to stay being so thoughtful about food a long time after iv lost weight. Iv also learnt that i shouldnt restrict myself too much, i need to learn im allowed more calories than im allowing myself to have. BUT that i need to do more exercise than i am doing. Need to drink more water too. I think im more wiser about food than i have ever been but that i still have SO much to learn. I just hope i always manage to keep thinking and feeling like this as its this approach thats going to keep me going and make my weight loss progressive!
ANYWAYS.. before i carry on with my epiphany (think thats the term!) and bore anyone (dont think anyones reading anyhoo so i think am safe on that front) il list what iv ate today


1 tangerine
2 crackers
mushy peas and chilli sauce
a plate of chaat masala
1c

 

[miss-tri]

6/02/11

today iv been feeling SO hungry!! still am but iv ate a tangerine now to ease my hunger, not helping much as im still ravenous! what i would do for a nice hot chicken fillet burger or donner meat in pitta oh my my mouth is watering :sigh: but no, will NOT allow my weakness to overcome me... willl notttt alllowww itttt! if i eat any type of junk food it will be because i have to for example if im out with friends because its too hard to stop doing so when your going to a restaurant with your buddies and chances are il have to go again in a couple of days! :sigh:

so ignoring my hunger, just ignoring it

so far today iv had
2 tangerines
1 kiwi
chaat masala - dont know why im so tempted to eat this! i had it yesterday and the day before too!! i never ate it before but now i love it! no more from now on though!!!


hoping to go gym tommorow though dont really feel like it! Also got my weigh in tommorow! totally forgot, just remembered now oh how im hoping for a loss but how i know i aint going to be getting one! i wouldnt even mind a pound or 2 lost. think il be upset if i have a gain!!! if i stay the same il not be too fussed i dont think heres fingers crossed for tommorow!


evening- ok fam are all getting a takeout. mmmm pizzaaaaaa been soooo long since iv had that and how i miss it! i can already smell it and its not even here yet! ha! for me itl just be bread i guess. boohoo but what can you do!

 

[miss-tri]

7/02/11

so. not had a good day today. went gym as planned, did 10 mins on the crosstrainer and then collapsed, literally. had a black out and felt ill so decided that was that. so no exercise done today. think i made the STUPID mistake of eating no breakfast which led to low blood sugar and thats what caused it. To make matters worse, i have ate tons of junk food. from sweets and minirolls to curries and takeaways and kebab sandwhiches and not to forget the fizzy drinks :break_diet:however not feeling regretful as of yet, i feel i deserved a treat day eventhough it was a more 'stuff myself til its not possible to carry on anymore' day but what is done is done. i ate like a pig i know but im going to get back onto the diet asap

oh and i forgot to say- went for my WI and i lost a pound, didnt gain :-O but actually lost a pound! but what with binging today im sure that pound and more besides are back on! oh well

 

[miss-tri]

10/02/11

ok i wrote sooo much and it got deleted

so just going to make quick points of what i said

Been bingeing for 3 days
weighed myself on home scales and was 12 stones but home scales arent very reliable so waiting til my weigh in on monday to know what the damage is :sigh:
decided on a plan of action...


MY PLAN OF ACTION

• Monday- go for weigh in
• 14th Feb- 1st March: Lose weight iv gained and get to 11 stones or less
• 1st March- April: lose 1 stone (get to 10 stone)
• 1st April- May: lose 1 stone (get to 9 stone)
• May 5th- Break
• May 5th- June: Lose 1 stone (get to 8 stone)
• June onwards- keep losing til happy with weight and maintain

 

[miss-tri]

13/02/11

ok i have been eating total junk for the whole week il definetly have put on all the weight i lost in the last 3 weeks :sigh: but i am going to get back on the wagon and have another go. Start the diet again and hopefully not have any blips along the way this time.

This time im going to do it properly. going to eat more calories as i limited myself before and do more exercise too. Also im going to note down exactly what i eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner as i didnt do that properly last time. In fact i think im going to make a new diary!!