Moonlights' (temporary) Maintenance

Evening ML... Sawing Man is a great title for a psychological thriller !! Lol xx
 
oh that horrible i know all too well what bullying feels like, i went through it for a few years at my juniors school, i wasnt fat as a child but i had ginger hair and freckles, i was a late comer to this particular school, which operated some kind of aparteit system, we had one black child and one indian boy a greek or two and that was it, the school across the road had hardly any white faces in the playground, i didnt really notice it until i was of leaving age when my classroom was on the top floor. but, that is an aside, the black girl got treated like a queen compared to me. i had a few friends but on the whole the rest of the school cottoned onto this bullying. it was decided i had a disease called the Rimell touch, and if you touched me you would catch it. I had the two worst bullies in the whole school in my class, the nastiest girl and the roughest boy, both of them picked on me and both had gangs.

it got to the stage one day when i locked myself in the bathroom because someone had told me if i had a scouring pad and ajax and scrubbed they would come off and it was true because someone they knew did it. so there i was naked and red raw sobbing because they were still there and my mother burst the door open and found me. she dragged the truth out of me and gave me an ultimatum.

she said if i didnt stand up for myself and hit them back she would hit me, and who was i more scared of? she actually didnt mean it, my mum never hit me but it was her way of saying sort them out. i was no shrinking violent and i could handle myself, i was just a new girl with few friends, no confidence and had two evil gangs onto me. she said i could come into the school and tell the teachers but we both know that will just make it worse. her advice to me was what to pick the ringleader, and what ever they did to me do back 10 times harder, she told me not to worry about the others they were just cowards latching onto the bully and just concentrate on the biggest loudest nastiest one. i had this in my mind on my next day at school and true to her ways the girl bully sara started on me, she ran at me knocking me over and then stood over me shouting say sorry, nervously i got up and said NO you say sorry, she looked shocked and pushed me, so i shoved her hard, she slapped me so i punched her as hard as i could in the face, the next thing i knew the red mist had decended and we were both in the heads office. he got us both to tell him in our own words what happened, sara told a pack of lies i told it as it was. He said he believe me, because up until that day he didnt even know my name but sara was always in his office. she was sobbing and looked at me said, you wait! i looked and smiled and said I will be waiting! never touched me again. the boy Gary did his usual chasing me home and between our two roads was an alley i became a really fast runner because he always chased me home, so i got to the end of the alley and hid at the bottom, all the time saying over in my head i have to end this i have to end this... as soon as i heard his footsteps running at the bottom of the alley i stuck a foot out and tripped him. he sprawled into the road (no traffic) i pounced on him giving him the biggest kicking he had ever had. again red mist decended, i had a lot of frustration and years of this bullying to vent... he got up was crying and breathing heavy he said u ever tell anyone about this and i will kill you and ran home. none of them ever touched me again.

it was a horrible time must have lasted a good three or four years, all through my primary and i finally put a stop to it in the second to last year of juniors. it was hell.
 
Wow that's brilliant that you fought back, Tracy - but oh love I felt like I was in that bathroom with you, scrubbing away! Big hugs xxx

Bullying is the most dreadful thing, I was incredibly shy and used to have three boys waiting on their bikes around the corner from home every day after school. I knew they would always be there, and I just felt sick and shook like a leaf. They just shouted names, but it was enough to have me terrified. Combine that with a father who forgot where the line was between discipline and capital punishment and I was one unhappy teenager.Glad it's all behind me now.

PS - I'm not shy any more :D
 
Gosh this is becoming the bullied thread! I got it at the end of primary when I snapped and elbowed the two girls (one on each side) hard in the stomach. They backed off. But I went to a senior school out of the normal area (cheers mother!) and got it again as an outsider. I was a skinny kid so it's not exclusive. Mother said they were jealous and I dealt with it by keeping out the way. Then a teacher started. One day I reacted and the teacher (a man!) ended up in tears. Made me realise that it was actually him and the others who had the problems and I was actually a decent person and didn't deserve it. I made friends outside of school but as a result refused to go to full time college or even consider the possibility of uni. So therefore I have no qualifications apart from those of life!

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oh thats awful Lady Susie, its incredible we actually survived our childhoods when u think about it. the bathroom incident was the catalyst for change, i had managed to hide it all and sweep it under the carpet until then. i got a nasty kick from a boy called paul once mum saw the bruise and went up the school, even then i didnt tell them about the rest of it, i was just too ashamed. you couldnt write about what happened next though, in the last year we had a teacher from new zealand and we did a play about maoris i was already at puberty (got that at 9) so as i was pretty much developed i didnt look like a kid, so the teacher made me narrator, i had to wear a bikini top and grass skirt and sit at the back of the maori boat pom pom twirling then stand up and narrate the rest of the play. i managed to catch the eye of the most popular boy in the school who had just finished with the most popular girl in the school. he decided to pursue me and get me to go out with him. i went from zero to hero overnight. suddenly everyone wanted to hang around with me and be friends with me. i couldnt cope with it. i didnt want to be noticed for ANY reason all i wanted after all that vile bullying was to blend into the background and not be noticed... weird time

it just goes to show Lisa how widespread the problem is, its a shame it had such implications on your future with school, college etc
 
Bullying is terrible and inexcusable but I always think, can you imagine what home life must be like for bullies if they think behaviour like that is acceptable in society?
I was very fortunate that I attended a school where most kids were geeks, a performing arts school, and so there really was no one that could be picked on. The school also operated a zero tolerance rule for EVERYTHING. We were always told that we were privileged to attend the school and so no one stepped out of line (well, very few did and learned the consequences, expulsion). I think some schools can learn a thing or 2 about no accepting bullying as "just part of growing up". It's cruel and damaging for both parties. I really do think its the parents of the bullies at fault tho. How many times do we hear of parents who deny that their kids are the playground monsters only to discover that the poor kids see the very behaviour at home. I know my daughter will never be a bully because we practice kindness and compassion at home, she knows nothing else.
 
"Zero to hero" - I love it.

And as a Kiwi, I'm very pleased that NZ contributed to your change in fortune, even if it didn't feel like it at the time.

I decided that I had to change when I started uni - and was lucky enough to share a room in the hostel with a girl who is still my dearest friend, 33 years later - she is really bubbly and outgoing and we soon became the most popular duo in town :D Whereas one of the girls who had bullied me at school, and went to the same hostel, was an outsider - such a weird turnaround - but I wasn't complaining! :D
 
Oh my god, Tracy, that's actually spooky.

In primary school my whole class had a game - they used my name but for the sake of anonymity the game was called 'moonlights disease'. It was like it. One person came up and hit me to 'catch the disease' and then anyone they touched caught it etc etc. The whole playground ended up playing Moonlights disease every playtime while I tried to hide.

I told my teacher and she did the worst thing possible - stood me up in front of assembly and said 'now does anyone not like moonlights?'

Of course no one spoke up and as far as she was concerned the problem was sorted whereas in reality it got a hundred times worse. It stopped for a while after some girls got me trapped in an old tree stump and kicked me - my dad found out and gave them a piece if his mind - but the verbal bullying never stopped.

In senior school I used to get followed home by boys about 4 years older who would throw stones at me and call me names.

Got my hair put in a Bunsen burner. All sorts of names and threats...

No wonder I ended up diagnosed with panic and anxiety disorder really is it. I was completely agoraphobic for a few years.

Wish I could have fought back but I was never that strong - I always assumed it was my fault. I just wasn't good enough.
 
oh that is spooky i had the same thing in the playground with the rimell touch, i wasnt timid and i could look after myself they just got me at a time when i lacked confidence plus when it turned out to be so many people playing along with it you just dont know where to start to end it. I was actually a happy child in myself, i think i have the oposite of depression where i have this perpetual happy persona, so maybe that is why i didnt go under. i did have some friends at that school, they couldnt help like me and bless them they did get some stick for it. I always knew deep down the only person who could stop it was me, Mum just gave me the shove i needed. She was a fearsome woman, nobody messed with my mum not even my dad lol. She never hit me, dont get me wrong but if i ever got in a scrape where the other person went to get their Dad, i got my Mum, my Dad would have been too reasonable and talked it thru, i wanted muscle!!

school can be funny like that Lady Su, i was never one of the fashionable popular girls in my last school, there was this one girl called catherine who was, all the boys fancied her and she always had such top fashion, she was tall and looked good in anything, she really looked down her nose at me, i always looked like i had been dragged thru a hedge backwards, i had wild curly hair and only ever wore jeans and tshirts (we didnt have uniform). then few years after we left i was shopping with my husband and my parents in tesco, she was fat, frumpy and had two scruffy snotty kids, she looked like one of those old american washer women in the old films. i looked over and she was staring at me, the tables had turned, i had the nice clothes etc she had what everyone probably though should be my life lol.

i dont regret what happened to me, i wouldnt change it. it made me who i am. I feel that it taught me what racism is like, that whole school (almost the whole school) hated me and treated me like crap just purely because of the colour of my skin and my hair.
 
((hugs)) to everyone - i had some fall out as the geeky one & it's amazing how clearly you can remember the bad moments:(

Luckily all the nice people ended up here :D xxxx
 
And after all the heavy talk - what have I eaten today?

Well, since you ask.

Fillet steak, mushrooms, spring onion

Salami crisps, celeriac chips, double Gloucester cheese

Flax porridge

Mint cocoa bark

For a total of 24g carbs including my meds
 
Morning ML, hope you got some shut eye last night, good menu, I have yet to make the salami crisps, I keep buying the salami, but it gets eaten before I make the crisps...
 
Hi Moonlight, I was wondering how you make your flax porridge? I think you have said how to make it at some point in your diary, but I thought I would save time by asking! I just thought..what about editing a contents page into the first entry? That would save us all pestering you for the same recipes constantly lol :)

We've got steak at some point this week, I can't wait! We made the most delicious piece of rump steak a week ago and I couldn't resist buying it again.

B xx
 
Hi ML :wavey: we've got a long discussion about websites of recipes on my diary - would love if you had one:). Pretty please:D
 
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Hi Lady B - I do have a wee recipes listing in the recipes section which has an index to it, I'm just slow about going back and adding things to it.

I think I only said how I do the flax porridge in someone else's diary but it's v. simple -

2 tbsp flax in a bowl. Add a little alpro and mix to a paste, then add some more until its a loose consistency. Pop in the microwave on high for 1 - 2 minutes - it will absorb most of the alpro and go a bit cakey. Add MORE alpro and sweetener of choice and stir to bring the flax back to a cereal consistency. I usually eat it like that but you can pop it back in the micro for 15 secs to heat it more. Add flavoring and / or cinnamon if you like.

It's an acquired taste I suspect but I really enjoy it.

Katie - am working on a little blog but I write all day for a living and procrastinate by writing on here so you'll have to bear with me ;)
 
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