Muffin top / bingo wings / back boobs no more!

Decided against organic ming, I mean, mung beans for breakfast.

Had weetabix instead. Bah
 
Salad for lunch.

Five mile walk, at a really decent speed.

Got home realised I had a yoghurt lid stuck to my bum.it had managed to stay stuck on for entire walk.

Had tea, boiled pots, veg, grilled sausages.

Elf ate broccoli, carrots, new pots and steamed trout.

So happy and pious at myself for being earth mother I opened tub of Ben and jerrys, because of course any woman who can walk five miles with yoghurt stuck to leggings bum cheek and get ten month old to eat veggies deserves a treat.





Ate the full tub. I am a disgrace
 
I realised I had to subscribe to your diary when I just physically laughed out loud at the yoghurt lid incident. Woke my husband up everything! Excellent!!! Sara x
 
Hello archer and tasha. Welcome!

In an effort to regain earth mother status and in an attempt to gain slinky hips status I just got my yoghurt maker out the cupboard.

8 yogurts are now brewing.

Husband walked onto kitchen, muttered "oh **** not this again" and walked out.

In reference to yoghurt lid on bum cheek (left in case you needed to know)

it was a petit fluer kids one on my bestest non see through tesco black leggings.

What makes it even worse is the length of the walk and the fact I even stormed through the village before hand feeling extremely healthy for exercising.

So in typical village style EVERYONE except me will have known I had yoghurt lid on my bum.

I'm an outsider who has a yoghurt lid stuck to her bum.

Off on big walk tomorrow again. Elf was very good today and only pooed a few metres from home. She has developed a horrendous new trick of closing her eyes in concentration at getting the poo out. While sort of grunt humming.

Together we make a exceptional team
 
I mean who can resist a tub of Ben and Jerrys I don't blame you! I need to get back on track too, we can do this! X
 
Just realised that now I have my yoghurt maker brewing I must truly be weaning off my posh yoghurt addiction!

I may eat Ben and jerrys by the tub but at least I don't pay seventy pee for a danio.
 
Could you not make frozen yoghurt with it? You could make your own version of Ben and jerrys....haha who am I kidding!

Have a lovely day x
 
Oh and a had a feelin petit Fleur would have been the culprit!! At least they're small, imagine if it had been a miller light lid!! :)
 
Ooooh I might try freezing a yoghurt to do a frozen yoghurt .

A Muller light lid might however have looked like a designer label from afar. The petit fleur looked like a cap on a bloody mountain on my large bum.

Off on another walk. Will check all parts of body for unexpected appendages before I leave
 
Ooooh I might try freezing a yoghurt to do a frozen yoghurt .

A Muller light lid might however have looked like a designer label from afar. The petit fleur looked like a cap on a bloody mountain on my large bum.

Off on another walk. Will check all parts of body for unexpected appendages before I leave

Still reading and still chuckling like a mad woman, just love your style of writing!

One day this should be made into a book, then a movie. Eat your heart out Bridget Jones, newmum31 has come to town... With her very own yoghurt lid bum!
 
Thanks sharry! What a lovely compliment!

Today I went on a walk. Checked backside, was yoghurt lid free. Got to shops and saw a girl who had a baby the same time as elf. She was still breast feeding, at 10 months, and baby was in a sling while mummy sipped a soy late.

Oh and she speaks two languages to her child.

I was just happy elf had not pooed through her outfit.

So did a monster storming walk. I walked as fast a I could between trees and then lunged between.trees. I am determined to burn this bum off.

Even if I looked special.

Massively struggling at lunch time. Today I had a ham sandwich for speed and ease. And pasta for tea. I
Eat at super speed and then focus on wiping Elfs tea off the ceiling.

Need to get my head sorted and fridge storted.

This weight is not going to come off with walks and a rubbish diet.
 
Hi new_mum31

Like so many other people who have posted within your diary, I absolutely love reading through your daily updates! They brighten up my day :) I love how you can manage to make light of your occasional misfortunes. Such a great diary! You will be back on track in no time - I completely understand how difficult it can be resist a tub of Ben & Jerry's!!

xxx
 
Thanks helen :) that has cheered me up.

I ate two of my home made yoghurts today. Both tasted of off milk. They actually tasted how I imagine elfs vomit would taste.

So I mixed in some chopped banana and it was palatable.

Legs sore after my walk. Decided to buy a off road buggy. Currently looking on Ebay and gum tree. But people seem to sell second hand ones at about a tenner less than full price.

I have a rather large problem.

Front room smells of poo.

No poo to be found.

Is it me ?I mean not me that smells of poo, but is my nose just ruined by the constant presence of Elfs deposits ...or

Is there a Hidden poo or naked bum smear somewhere?!

I have looked for ages.

Can't find anything. But hubby came in from footy and said "**** it smells of poo in here"

What to do?!!
 
I just managed to convince my older, very gullible, brother that the royal baby was to be called Morris but would go by the name of Alex for short.

The most ridiculous thing I could say.

He just rang back to ask where I got the info as sky news said the baby still had no name.

Tooo easy.

Morris would be ace though.

Off to see the mother in law tomorrow.

I can't sleep and really really don't want to go. I am not good at coping when I have had no sleep.
 
I think Morris is quite fetching :) haha let us know how long you manage to keep it up! I'm on official day 3 of slimming world from home and I know I shouldn't get weighed every morning, but I haven't lost an ounce! :-/ this dieting lark is brutal! Hope you find the mysterious living room poo. Have a good day, Sara x
 
Brother text first thing to say he knew it was not morris as it said on radio two the name was not decided.

He's the most amazingly gullible person ever.

Well as I type I'm at the in laws.

Please god don't ever let me get old. Or belligerent. Or just a knob.

Please don't let me be a knob, god.
 
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Hi here to subscribe - totally love your style!

I posted on facebook last night that I had just seen Prince Trevor's first public appearance on CNN and one of my friends actually believed me! She then posted to her friends that the baby was called Trevor and when told that it hadn't been announced, she said the reason I knew was because I live in Cyprus and we are 2 hours ahead of the UK!! Talk about gullible.

Anyway, loving your diary and can't wait to find out the source of the poo smell :D
 
I had to edit my post as out said "please don't let me be a knob god". Instead of "please don't let me be a knob, god".

This morning I opened the windows and aired the front room.

I have come out for the day and will see how it smells when I get back.

I'm hoping its not a hidden poo or bum smear.
 
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