Muffin top / bingo wings / back boobs no more!

Today walked a good eight miles and jogged quite a bit of that.

Two ice creams and a burger and chips.

Thing is I can see I'm losing inches, I just need to eat less rubbish and eat more goodness.

On a side note elf has developed a habit of trying to stroke my eyelashes. In typical baby style she can't stroke and instead ends up punching my cheeks while screaming wildly.

I look like I have cried all weekend due to this injury
 
However elf tried doing this eye stroke to hubby. She just mauled his face while hysterically pervert breathing at point blank range in her excitement at being able to attempt to stroke his eyelashes.

Somehow she slapped a full leaf from his salad onto his forehead and neither he or I noticed. Until he went to the loo and saw it in the mirror.
I swear I never noticed but I laughed my head off when he told me
 
8am and elf is banging radiators with a wooden spoon.

She got up at 7.20 with only one wake up in the night.

I'm so happy I would let her bang my head with the spoon.
 
Just subscribing - love your diary :) x
 
Morning and welcome cai!

Off to town to do some shopping this morning.

I'm going to count the pasty eating babies who are drinking either tea in a bottle or a fruit shoot.

Snob, moi?!
 
Omg, love your diary - has become my "guilty pleasure" - especially love the museum scenario.... well done you!
Self and daughter used to give points (mentally, then compare score in the car afterwards) going round a certain supermarket which shall be nameless, in case of offence or legal action - top score was for beige leggings with high heels accompanied by large-bellied partner with shirt undone whose children were taking food from shelves and eating it on the way round...

Sorry, bit of a Hyacinth Bucket rant there!
 
Lycho today I mentally counted the leggings that looks mite like tights they are so see through and tiiiiiigggght.

I also counted the amount of "i wan kers" the people who walk round on a phone and don't look up
 
Also today i had a breakdown.

Made 36 pots of baby food. To freeze.

Defrosted the freezer.

Cleaned the floor.

Then ate half a tiger loaf
 
Also I went to hubbys work and tried to spit in his secretaries tea.

I swear she fancies him. Simpering bafoon
 
new_mum31 said:
Also today i had a breakdown.

Made 36 pots of baby food. To freeze.

Defrosted the freezer.

Cleaned the floor.

Then ate half a tiger loaf
Click to expand...
BUT just looked at your tag and you have lost nearly half a stone already! - must be running up all those hills with Desmond...
 
Please never stop writing your diary it is cheering us all up in times of diet depression. I too am weaning myself off the Danios. I only get them on payday :cry:
 
xena said:
Please never stop writing your diary it is cheering us all up in times of diet depression. I too am weaning myself off the Danios. I only get them on payday :cry:
Click to expand...
I second that, Xena (warrior princess) !
 
Ladies thank you for your lovely words.

Today I am

1- gearing myself up for a major fight with the washing machine repair man. My five year parts labour and warranty cover OBVIOUSLY does not cover the bearings failing

I'm so ready to train elf to "accidentally" poo in his shoe.

2- monster walk and power jog /wobble with Desmond. I'm wearing my cap, sunglasses and hubbys old t shirt. The yummy mummys with their bugaboos and work out gear always stare as I storm past.

Seriously I am the clampet of the village. They are all mega wealthy, well apart from Lisa the ex druggie who stopped brushing her teeth in the 80s- another story.

They have personal trainers. I have trainers from brantano.the type I bullied kids at school for wearing.

They have private swimming lessons and I have a paddling pool

I have gone on a tangent again.

3 - making more yogurts. Seriously I swear the recession is caused by danio. How on earth can a yoghurt cost that much?!

I love them sooooo much but really 70pt?!

4- fantasising about punching hubbys secretary. In the face. With a nappy or a bagette. She really needs to eat , size 8 annoyance, so perhaps a food based punch is best. Thoughts are; bagette with lots of mayonnaise sloppy goodness, a pizza, or perhaps a could throw lots of yum yums at her?

5- cooking more to freeze. I'm making quorn lasagne for hubby and elf when I'm back at work.


Food so far today - weetabix and half a banana.
 
Does hubby think she fancies him? I wouldn't waste good food tbh - not unless its like an elf-poo pie?! Or is baguette code word for poo??

You have lots planned in today! Happy Tuesday!!
 
War.is.on.

Apparently according to Mr.jobsworth machine repair man BUTTONS should be checked on all clothing prior to clothing going in the wash.
 
Ps hubby is so dense he would not know if she fancied him. Even if she wrote "I fancy you"on her naked form

I might hit her with a tuna baguette. In the sun. So she stinks
 
Great.bumped into the freaking miss perfect from slimming world in the village.

You know hugos mum

What a doyle.

She actually said while looking me up and down "have you left group?" Ie "your looking fat"

And I was wearing my leggings with bleach stains
 
After a day of rather busymanicness I went to my brothers. He lives in the big smoke.not London, just our nearest city.

At the risk of sounding like a right snob after looking at some of the people I realised I'm on my own by not having a tattoo.

Now there was a lad in the chip shop - not me having chips, it was the brother not me eating, he had this unbelievably beautiful script tattoo on the inside of his pigeon arm. It said something like "MI FAMILIA MUCHOS AMORE".

Jokingly I asked the lad what it meant. He actually said
"its Italian. It can't be directly translated but roughly in English it means 'the love of my family is the greatest love of all and that love will last for all of eternity"

I started laughing thinking he was joking as it clearly translated to "I love my family lots".it was only five odd words. and there is nothing wrong with that, a lovely sentiment me thinks. but he was deadly serious which made me really crack up.

So I'm getting a tattoo.

Its going to say in beautiful script , somewhere as yet undecided

" I could not decide what meaningful saying to get, so I thought I would just have some calligraphy some instead"
 
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