My bad relationship with food

[Harrie]

I was watching Supersize Superskinny last night and not only did I NOT find the skinny terribly skinny, I was nodding when she said she could never eat ice cream because she found herself counting the calories.

I do this constantly (with syns, obviously).

And it got me thinking about my relationship with food. It's screwy. I give myself "permission" to eat certain things and then, if my weight doesn't increase, I eat it every day. This can be an extra apple, bag of crisps, choccie bar - anything, whether I want it or not. 11am is the apple time. 1500 is yoghurt time. Crisps (altho' not so much now) are an afternoon thing. Chocolate drink as soon as I arrive to work in the morning.

Not weighing myself every day helps a lot, I have to admit, but this is a crazy way to live. SW (and you guys) has been a huge help getting me down to the weight I always wanted to be. But now that's not good enough. I want to be even slimmer. And I'm worried that if I get to that weight, will that be good enough? After a lifetime of seeing myself as lumpy and dumpy, can I ever change my mindset to see myself as a normal person with a very healthy weight?

Of course, that isn't a problem for a long while as at the minute, my mind isn't into dieting :sigh:.

I hope I don't sound like a fruitcake and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's spent a lifetime fighting the flab to feel that way (which is a consolation).

I need to sort out my eating once and for all!!!

Thanks for listening :heartpump:

 

[Mrs V]

Hey Hun...firstly it sounds as if you have become obsessed with syn values, counting etc and this is a sign of bigger things to come if left unchecked. You can still keep control by keeping a diary, but you have to break out of the habit of being too dependant on times of food, quantites etc.
Try making little changes to the times that you eat, what you would eat as well. I have a friend with OCD and although his is cleaning, its pretty much the same kind of obsessiveness.

xxxx

 

[cocktailprincess]

I really get what you mean- My 'issues' may not be exactly the same as yours but I know that despite my success at the physical side of losing my weight, I still have a long way to go with the mental side of it.

My only consolation in this (and the best advice I can give on the understanding that I don't know the answer myself) is that it took me 33 years of living to get completely messed up with how I see food, and I have only been working for 2 years so far to try and rectify it- I don't think it can happen quickly and I honestly don't think I will ever be able to truly relax around food again for the rest of my life (without the risk of piling the weight back on OR becoming obsessively compulsive about it)

Sorry- I know this isn't helpful and it kind of sounds like I am saying "you're screw3d!" but I can really understand how you are feeling, so you are not alone and are certainly not a fruitcake
.
.
.

mmmmmmmmm............fruitcake

 

[malaika]

CP, I get totally what you mean.
We all have issues over food or we wouldn't be here, but our issues vary.
Today, I put on a pair of trousers I bought last week and they felt tighter. I actually went into panic, thinking I am back into getting fat again, which I know is ridiculous as I am below target, but it has worried me all day. I only weigh once a week at WI but I really started worrying and my immediate thought is to cut right back again. I have given myself a severe talking to but the fear is there, and I guess it always will be.
Harrie, with regards to the TV programme, I also always think that the skinny one is not all that bad, and I thought the one a couple of weeks ago actually ate what I would call healthy... another proof of my possible food issue!

 

[Harrie]

Thank you, everyone. The Wise Women of Minimins help once more!

In a way, I'm glad I've had that shock as it's really made me sit up and think. I've had ten years more than you, CP, of being completely messed up with food and I know it'll not go overnight - sadly. Step by step. It's crazy because I often compare morbidly obese people to alcoholics in order to make others understand they're not just "fat, greedy pigs" but have a serious needs for help. It was a shock realising that I was thinking in a way considered just as abnormal. Doctor heal thyself, I think

And Malaika, with you on those trousers!! It's such a horrible feeling - and such a stupid one. Our weights fluctuate so much day to day (hour to hour, even) yet we let it get to us. I'm sure today they'll fit just fine.

Well, I've just had a HexB for breakfast, something I would never have done before, and it was great (scrambled eggs on toast). I have to return to the UK this week to help family so my eating plan will not be what it has been (impossible with all the socialising). But I can keep an eye on it and still enjoy myself.

I still think SW is the best eating plan in the world - and that Miniminners are the best support group in the universe :thankyou: