MY BLOG: Today's the day to turn this around ...

[princess farkie]

13th August

Horrified, disgusted, upset and beating myself up.

Finally summoned up the courage to brave the scales this morning. I guess deep down I knew I wouldn't be happy with what they told me, I knew I had gained a few pounds but really didn't think it would be that bad. Somehow I have managed to fool myself into thinking that each time I ate ice cream, chocolate, crisps, bread, pizza and burgers that they weren't doing me much harm, especially since I had been working out at the gym .... feeling a bit disappointed for letting myself think that by sticking my head in the sand it would all go away somehow.

Have eaten my way through the fridge and cupboard contents today on my mental struggle with the 30lb weight gain. Feeling fat, bloated and down right sorry for myself (brain, please remember this yucky feeling for when I crave sugary/carb laden foods) but I know that negativity isn't helpful. Time for a long chat with myself about making a change. No one else can do this for me, it's all down to me. C'mon body it's time to cooperate with brain and get a gorgeous body in time for Christmas.

Brain, if you are still listening, please make a memo to not forget our CDC appointment Tuesday 14th at 5.30.

p.s. Body, in the meantime this is NOT a licence to crave and subsequently eat everything in sight. You'll only make matters worse ....

 

[Chika]

Brilliant blog, hon! Good luck with your diet!

 

[ninababes]

Princess, congrats on having the guts to write down your blip in the diet, it must feel better having accepted it and today is your NEW start. You CAN do this and we are all here to support you along the way. There's gonna be times when we fall off the track but that's because we're human. Losing weight is not easy but you have made a fantastic step forward by coming back and good luck with your diet and again you CAN do this!!!!

 

[Sambucca]

good luck princess! You'll shed 30lb in no time on CD.

 

[princess farkie]

Thanks guys!

You are all doing so well!! You all keep up the great work!!

I hope that by this time next week I'll be feeling much better about myself - not only lighter (with no food baby + bloating to carry around) but also contented for making a decision to invest some more time and effort into me ... i'm worth it, dam it!!

Sometimes you have to be brutally honest with yourself and stop hiding behind excuses. I made me this way - it's down to me to change it. Will be blogging here everyday to keep me motivated and out of trouble .
xx

 

[Linda5111]

You have taken the first step to a slimmer u, good luck.

 

[saffron]

well done princess for getting on here and admitting about ur blip, draw a line under it whats done is done start a fresh, glug away on plenty of water keep poppin on here for loads of support, why not join in on the daily thread aswell, you can do it huni

 

[MsJMC]

You've made the first move and that is to go see CDC and then its time to put 100% into it to get the results you need . So i guess you will start wednesday ? Wishing you all the best for that and keep posting here it really will help you

 

[princess farkie]

14th August 2007

The right frame of mind.

Bounced out of bed this morning ready to face the day and my new found positivity. Was fully expecting my brain & body to not feel like cooperating today as it the last day of food, but bless them, not a food craving or hunger pang to be seen. Decided to eat lightly today so it's not a massive shock to the system tomorrow when no food arrives! Quite looking forward to that empty, thin feeling - I find it somewhat comforting?!

It's funny because getting dressed this morning I really noticed that my ass was having to squeeze into a pair of trousers - but I wore them to work on Friday and yet hadn't noticed them being a little tight, but they must have been. There's no way I can have gained 2-3 inches over the weekend?! Brain - I'm not fooled now!! I'm fully switched on and you can't catch me out anymore. And no brain - chocolate isn't the yummiest thing on the planet, that would be a chocolate CD shake made with warm water!! PMSL!

Had a long chat to BF last night about going back on CD. He's been really supportive bless him, says he hadn't noticed that I had put 30lbs back on, not sure whether he really hasn't noticed or whether he was just saying it to make me feel better? I guess only he knows the answer to that - but it did help to hear it anyway. I'm a very lucky girl - mind you I'm guessing he'll benefit from this too - all those early nights .... !!!

I've promised myself that I wouldn't dump all my emotional 'diet' baggage on him and so I'll be here blogging to vent my frustrations. We have reached a compromise about me being on this diet (well I say we, more a case of I suggested - don't you love feminine charm ), that we'll still go out as normal but where we have dinner invitations we'll suggest drinks instead. That way neither of us misses out on social occassions, I'm always the designated driver and he gets his take-away on the way home. I'm pure genius sometimes!! And, all the money we save on not eating out, that'll go towards my new size 8 wardrobe when I get that far

Right off to do some work :sigh:. Have a great day guys, keep those heads held high and downing the water, can't wait to be back on baord tomorrow.

 

[princess farkie]

15th August 2007

Day 1 here we come!!

I'm all set to go ... had a reluctant battle with myself last night to not pig out and eat everything in the fridge/cupboards. Will power was tested to the max! Ended up with a very healthy prawn stir fry with no carbs or dessert . Took BF to a cash & carry near my house to stock up on sweets so he has treats at mine that I won't be tempted with - absolutely hate sweets. Especially those awful foam prawn and banana things .... just the smell makes me gag! But chocolate ... well that's what got me here in the first place , so it's now a contra-ban item in my house!

Went to the gym this morning (check out my halo!) and managed a 45 minute run - thought it might help to burn some of the carbs and kick start the plan (520 kcals expended - that's more than a day's intake SS for me!). Was bloomin starving while at the gym, but since fnishing my workout the hunger has subsided - phew!!

It seems to be shake-o'clock now so I think I'm going to have an LF choc shake with hot water as I'm freezing!! Bloomin weather is getting me down .
x

 

[princess farkie]

16th August 2007

Today's a great day!!

Felt like ***** all day yesterday. Had horrible nausea (thanks stomach) and couldb't keep my head off food (brain ...revenge will be mine one day!) but I wasn't hungry. Just habit me thinks. Got home from work, walked the dog, clipped the dog, hoovered my floors, mopped all downstairs and did the ironing .... all as a distraction from it all. Had a lovely early night (8pm!) and managed to sleep all night (well done bladder for cooperating) but woke up this morning busting for a wee and full of beans!

Something urged to me to check for ketones and have a cheeky WI so I peed on my stick .... it's only pink already - and only day 2! Then jumped on the scale .... 3.2lbs gone!!! RESULT!!!!!

Decided I would reward my bod for it's good behaviour with another trip to the gym. So off I went for 30 mins of gentle cardio and some resistance training. It's 10am and only just had my first shake - not at all hungry (thanks K fairy) and feeling really good about it all. Just as well since my assistant has failed to turn up for work - gonna be having words when she eventually rears her head and surprise surprise we are snowed today!! Ho hum get on with it!!

Can't help but wonder what the scales will say in the morning.

xx

 

[Hedgemag]

Well done Princess, you sound really bouncy...keep it up.

 

[nicola444]

Keep going princess and being positive - you can do it.

Nicola

 

[princess farkie]

Thanks guys!! You are both going great guns too!!! We will be slim and have positive body images soon!!!

I love this diet sooo much!!
xx

 

[MsJMC]

Well done Princess Farkie , thats good you are already doing a work out well done ! i need to get on my treadmill and start , i was going too but felt a bit lightheaded , but its ok now just got to push myself .

 

[princess farkie]

17th August 2007 - Day 3

Well, after a near miss with BF's kebab last night I'm feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning!

Had a really good day yesterday until I got home. BF came with me to the vets as my new puppy has a heart murmur, thought he would have to go back to the breeder as it's not fair on my older dog if he's poorly and demanding all the attention. So anyway, got the all clear - vet thinks just a puppy murmur - quite common in fact.

Got home and BF is ready for dinner. Bless him, he asked me what I wanted him to have for dinner so as not to start any cravings. I suggested that he had a take-away of some description (thought better he had one while I was doing well and not being tempted). So BF opted for a kebab. He ordered ... get this .... lamb & chicken shish, onion rings and chips in pitta. All with mayo and chilli sauce. Under normal circumstances I might have a dead plain chicken shish but last night something just flipped ....

As soon as it arrived I was like a thing possessed .... spent the best part of 5 mins sniffing it and drooling WTF is that about?? Kebab smells gross to me normally - but not last night, couldn't get enough of it!! I think I have developed some sort of kebab perversion over the last 3 days!! Then had to sit on my hands to stop myself from picking at it. I resisted - I might add but oh boy, that was hard!! Once he'd finished his kebab (although slightly unnerved due to my staring and fixation with his dinner) I asked him if he wouldn't mind eating some chocolate ice-cream with bashed up minstrels just to top it off. Bless him he was very obliging and allowed me to sniff that as well.

Despite having turned into a food perv of sorts, I decided that it was better that the food was in gorgeous BF instead of me!! Once the eating was over with, I had my LF choc shake and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

Here's to willpower .... it's a great thing!!

So, been to the gym this morning. 30 mins weight training and 30 mins of CV!! Can't be bad. Plus the scales show a loss of 4.5lbs in total - not bad for 2 whole days SS!!! Gonna try and walk big pup at lunchtime and then again after work. I'm sure all the exercise is helping!!

Sorry for the mega long post - thanks for reading. It's brekkie time for me now ... vanilla LF shake hot .... mmmm ....custard!
xx

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Well done Princess, you are doing really well! I get like that - love the smell of food and encourage others to eat what I would like a sniff of! What motivates you to go to the gym? I really want to start going but (although I have membership!) I never seem to quite make it! Any tips?

Em x

 

[princess farkie]

The gym .... sheer toture but somehow so pleasurable!!

There's so much that motivates me in the gym - best of all is the fat loss. I love watching my heart rate get to optimal fat burning level, and then focus on keeping it there, I love breaking a sweat - proves to myself that I am working hard enough, love the post-workout high!! Everything really. The best thing to do in the gym thou is watch as the toned girls enter their weight on the machines.... I'm always surprised about how much they weigh? They never look as heavy as they are because they are toned. So I think, rather than setting myself a target weight really low, I'll have a slightly higher one (not quite so far to go) but be toned. A toned body burns far more energy in a day than a skinny but untoned body (if that makes sense). So the gym for me is not my 'me' time but about improving my fitness, toning up, being able to maintain my weight (when I get there) but also about reaching the end of my journey sooner

I personally find it much easier to go before work. I hit the gym at 6am (i know ...soo early) but it's quiet, you can always get on the machines and it really sets me up for day. Not to mention that unfuelled (as in no food) early morning exercise kick starts the metabloism, burns fat faster and gets the blood flowing. I find once I get home that's it - with the exception of a doggie walkies I'm a vegetable on the sofa with my fav soaps or out with BF and/or friends. Just love that my evenings are free.

You really should try and ease yourself back into it - it will help with weight loss no end, and is something all for you!! You'll see the inches flying off too!!

Good luck hun
x

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Thank you Princess, really inspiring advice! I did used to enjoy that feeling of going to the gym, so I know what you mean. I haven't really been for about a year :O which is bad! I want to be toned and some of my skin is looking a little loose, nobody else would notice it but it's obviously down to years of yo-yo dieting and losing a lot of weight so quickly so I'm hoping the gym will help to tighten me up as I lose the last few stones. 6am is early but I can see the appeal of getting there first thing. My gym opens at 6.30am so I'm going to start going before work when I go back (I'm a teacher)! Yay, thank you for the advice! Feel all motivated and will even try and go today! x

 

[princess farkie]

Hey Ems,

You should defo go today ... strike while the iron's hot and all that!! Then maybe try going once over the weekend, maybe a couple of times next week and you'll soon be in the swing of things!! Enjoy the post work-out high, and remember you don't have to work yourself silly to get results. Easy does it, little and often!!

Let me know how you get on chick!!
xx